Today's guest author, Ellen Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist, anxiety specialist, and author of How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists. Her scientifically-based, zero-judgment approach has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, BBC News, New York Magazine, and many other media outlets. She lives in the Boston area with her family. Find her on Substack or at ellenhendriksen.com.
You could win one of three copies of How to Be Enough. Send an email with your preferred shipping address (in case you're a winner) to: [email protected]
Please welcome to the book club, author Ellen Hendrickson…
President Carter strode into the East Room in silence. Despite the White House ceremony about to take place, he had asked that the bum-ba-da-dum-da-da-DUM! of "Hail to the Chief" not be played. Attendees shifted from foot to foot, the lack of majesty making everyone feel awkward.
Carter was undaunted. He carried his own luggage on official trips. At the first Democratic leadership breakfast, Carter requested that rolls and coffee be served. Tip O'Neill, the Speaker of the House who did not share Carter's high-minded thriftiness, roared, "Mr. President, I have waited eight years to have a Democrat in the White House, and at the next meeting, I expect to have a proper breakfast!" Carter got the message. Bacon and eggs actually meant hospitality, respect, and the foundation of a coalition.
Carter’s unpretentiousness meant that doing The Right Thing entailed taking the most modest path. But the Presidency isn't supposed to be modest. In rejecting the symbols of power, he inadvertently lessened the dignity of the office, and by extension, the nation.
As President, Carter aligned himself with the common man, renounced pretense, and did The Right Thing. But this same conscientiousness made him unable to carry out the necessary finessing and mudslinging sometimes required by the office. Popular opinion was that he was a good man, but not a very good president.
Fast forward forty years. It’s 2017, a couple of months before his 93rd birthday. Jimmy Carter dons a hard hat and safety glasses for a day of construction work under the summer sun. For three decades, he has pounded nails and installed siding right alongside volunteers for Habitat for Humanity.
Through The Carter Center, his conscientious nature drove programs supporting peace, mental health, and human rights. Sweating the details led to eradicating guinea worm infection in central Africa. Ultimately, he was recognized with the Nobel Peace Prize.
Indeed, Carter never changed; he simply found callings better suited to his instinct to put himself to use rather than put himself first.
For the rest of us, the same lesson applies. Our shortcomings--the exact tendencies that trip us up--become our greatest strengths given the right context. Our inhibition makes us good listeners. Our bluntness keeps us honest. Our impulsivity makes us fully experience the world.
Our optimization-focused culture says we must eliminate our weaknesses: be our best self, not simply our self. But maybe that’s not true. Maybe we are fine as we are. Like the snap of the last puzzle piece, like the hardwiring of Jimmy Carter, maybe we just need to find our best fit.
--Ellen Hendriksen
You could win one of three copies of How to Be Enough. Send an email with your preferred shipping address (in case you're a winner) to: [email protected]
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
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