Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column - January 13, 2023

Dear Reader,

Every year I am amazed at the quality of the writing entries I receive for the Write a DearReader Contest. It's difficult to choose just three winners, so I choose Honorable Mentions as well. Today's Honorable Mention was written by Brandi D'Angelo. Thank you so much Brandi for sharing your story with us.

 

The sequence in the school cafeteria was always the same. An unfortunate student lost their grip, and their plastic lunch tray clattered to the floor. All decorum was lost. Food splattered everywhere and silverware clanged against the linoleum. Then a brief, all-encompassing silence, as everyone’s mouths hung open in disbelief and suspense. Then it came- the slow guttural “oooooh,” slowly crescendoing until it was a collective din across the cafeteria. We suppressed grins and thought to ourselves, “Today is going to be a good day.” 

The lunch lady scrambled to the microphone and ordered us into a silent lunch. The cafeteria workers craned their necks to see what calamity had occurred. Sometimes a few rebellious students who chose to carry on were singled out and punished. And back in those days, you could be paddled by the principal. I know this for a fact because my brother was paddled once. The school tried hard to keep order in those moments, but we students lived for the excitement and adrenaline that broke up our tedious days. Lunch was the highlight of the day. 

I tended to be a sack lunch kid, bringing my lunch in a brown paper bag. I envied the kids who had a cool lunch box with a TV character on it. My brother recalls that our sandwich bags were the type that you folded over to close. He said that Ziplocs were for rich kids. We were a frugal family.

 Sometimes Mom packed our lunches. Later at school, I would slowly peer into the sack to see what peculiar thing she sent. It could be a tortilla rolled up with cheese and salsa. Oh no! Kids would stare. Even sandwiches could elicit looks because my mom added weird things like nuts, wheat germ or sprouts. 

Sometimes the best lunches were ‘other’ people’s lunches. One time when my parents took a trip overseas, my brother and I stayed with my best friend’s family. We thought we had hit the jackpot with things like Pepsi, Mountain Dew, sugar cereals, and white bread. We loved the sandwiches we were sent to school with, soft, white Wonder Bread, American cheese, and tasty bologna. My best friend, her sister, and brother were chagrined when it was time to stay at our house, and my mom cooked bulgar wheat for breakfast, and sandwiches were on whole wheat with lettuce and tomato; maybe even some wheat germ sprinkled in. 

I miss school lunch, hanging out with friends and trading gossip. Nowadays, I sit here at home with my “lunch buddy,” our Pug-Chihuahua. No excitement of dropped trays; only dropped crumbs.

– Brandi D'Angelo, Honorable Mention, 2022 Write a DearReader Contest

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

* This month's Penguin Classics is The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win

Dear Reader Column - January 12, 2023

Dear Reader, 

Today's the last day to enter the January Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway. I'm baking chocolate chip cookies for three lucky readers, so if you're ready to dunk and much, be sure to enter. Go to: https://emailbookclub.com/photo/cookie-contest-2022.html

Suzanne is out today, but she’s sharing one of her favorites…

I was walking into a meeting last week when I looked down and I saw the dreaded "white smear" on the front of my black suit jacket. If you have no idea of what I'm talking about, consider yourself one of the lucky ones, and please immediately email me and let me know what brand of deodorant you use, because I'm fed up with mine.

The main color in my wardrobe is black, so you can see that I'm not kidding about what a serious problem this has become. I have three different brands of deodorant in my drawer that claim "36 Hours of Power--glides on clear, with no white residue." Well I'd be okay with only eight hours of power before I had to redo my armpits, if they would just get rid of the white residue.

I know the so-called secret to avoiding the "white smear" and yes, I did put my deodorant on after I got dressed. But something still went terribly wrong when I put my suit coat on. Fortunately, I noticed the problem before I walked into the meeting, and I made a quick beeline to the women's restroom.

Maybe this "white residue" thing is actually a marketing ploy to keep me using more and more deodorant. It's a cycle so I use up my deodorant quicker. I fear the white smear on my clothing. The thought of it makes me start to sweat. I apply more deodorant, but now I start sweating again worrying about the white stuff--so I apply more deodorant--I start worrying....

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

* This month's Penguin Classics is The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win

Dear Reader Column - January 11 2023

Dear Reader,

Be sure to enter the January Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway. I'm baking my famous chocolate chip cookies for three lucky readers, so if you're ready to dunk and much, be sure to enter. Go to: https://emailbookclub.com/photo/cookie-contest-2022.html

Today’s guest at the book club is BJ Thompson, a life coach, speaker and executive director for the relationship nonprofit Build a Better Us. He is also the author of Awaken A Better You: 4 Simple Steps to Create the Life You Want. Over the past twenty years, Thompson has helped tens of thousands of people all over the world experience personal and relational growth.

Along with Grammy Award-winning artist Lecrae, Thompson helped launch one of the largest faith movements in recent history, the "116 Movement."  BJ and his wife, Vanja, have three children and reside in Atlanta, Georgia.

Awaken A Better You: Is there a change you’ve been wanting to make, but you don’t know how? Have you tried it all and still can’t figure out how to move forward? BJ wants to help you unlock greater mental, spiritual, relational, and emotional health with a simple four-step process. With BJ as your guide, you can start on the path to create the balanced, holistic life you’ve always wanted. Make the choice to become the person you’ve always wanted to be. The only person you’re waiting on is you.

You can reach out to BJ at bj@buildabetterus.com

The Lifeguard Who Couldn't Swim

At fifteen, I got my first job at a fast food restaurant. Every single day, I manned the fryer. I was glad to earn money for my gas, shoes to wear to school, and nice food. But there was one problem. Every time I dropped frozen food into that hot grease, I learned first-hand that oil and water don't mix. Grease splattered up my arms, scarring my skin.

My mother didn't like this either. Unbeknownst to me, she signed me up for a new job. It was close to my house, paid three times more money, and let me enjoy sunshine and fresh air. Apparently, I was going to be a lifeguard.

As my mother spoke gleefully about this job, my eyes welled up and tears flowed down.

Here's the thing. I didn't know how to swim. As my mother spoke, I kept envisioning a child struggling in the pool, drowning. I would be responsible to save them but completely helpless.

My mother said there was a solution. If I stuck with a training program, I would be more than prepared.

When I started training, all I could do was doggie paddle. But I showed up daily at the pool to work with a coach. Each lesson seemed insignificant, but over time, my skills added up. My strength and confidence grew.

Even though I was terrified, with training, development, and instruction, I became what I needed to be. To my surprise, by the end of the year, I received the Lifeguard of the Year Award.

This is a lesson I bring with me to every challenge in my life, and the perspective from which I approach life coaching. Set your sights on what you want to do, receive training, follow through, and reap the rewards.

-- BJ Thompson

Email bj@buildabetterus.com

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

KIDSBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

For fans of science and poetry ages 7-11, Lydia Lukadis' Deep, Deep, Down: The Secret Underwater Poetry of the Mariana Trench captivates! Learn about life at Earth's deepest point--you may be surprised what you find out. For a chance to win free copies, talk with the authors, and more, see www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz.

 

 

 

* This month's Penguin Classics is The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win

Dear Reader Column - January 10, 2023

Dear Reader,

Congratulations to the winners of the 'Getting Ready for 2023' Year-End Giveaway. With your new 2023 calendar, you’re ready for the new year! The winners are…

Davonne R., Deanna S., Ella S., Marelou A., Barbara W., Jason L. S., Linda T., Jenn V. C., Glenda W. J., Merrilee G., Markenna P. and Natasha A.

And the fun keeps going…today I’ve got two more ways for you to win at the book club.

First, the January Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway kicks off today. I’m baking my famous chocolate chip cookies for three lucky readers, so if you’re ready to dunk and much, be sure to enter. Go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/Cookie-Contest-2022.html

And, I can’t think of a better way to ease into the New Year than with a Penguin Classic. Be sure to enter to win a copy of today’s Classic for yourself.

This month's Penguin Classic is, The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton, Sarah Blackwood (Introduction) and Sofia Coppola (Foreword).  

Start reading (below) and enter for your chance to win. 

(Notes from the publisher) 

Considered by many to be her masterpiece, Edith Wharton’s second full-length work is a scathing yet personal examination of the exploits and follies of the modern upper class. As she unfolds the story of Undine Spragg, from New York to Europe, Wharton affords us a detailed glimpse of what might be called the interior décor of this America and its nouveau riche fringes. Through a heroine who is as vain, spoiled, and selfish as she is irresistibly fascinating, and through a most intricate and satisfying plot that follows Undine’s marriages and affairs, she conveys a vision of social behavior that is both supremely informed and supremely disenchanted.

Start reading this month’s Penguin Classic and enter to win your own copy.  

Thanks for reading with me. It’s so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

* This month's Penguin Classics is The Custom of the Country by Edith Wharton. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win

Dear Reader Column - January 9, 2023

Dear Reader,

A reader wrote to me last week asking my advice. She had a great idea for a new business, but she was terrified of failing. I wanted to try to help, so I did what I do best. I wrote her a "Dear Reader."

Angela...this one's for you...

Fear can be a big motivator when it comes to accomplishing things. I know it kicks me in the butt every now and then and I'm grateful. But it's just as powerful on the flip side--fear stops a lot of people from living the life they dream about.

Think about the last time you got really excited about a new idea or something different you wanted to try. You're sitting back envisioning yourself involved in this new thing, feeling really good and then wham...fear shows up.

"Hey, you don't really think you can pull this off, do you? You don't know the first thing about doing this and even if you learned how, you probably wouldn't be any good at it. Do you want to embarrass yourself? You might fail and then you'd look foolish. What makes you think that you can do this? Other people, better than you, have already tried and failed."

Whoa...have you had enough? I hope so. Fear definitely has a way of beating you down, but only if you let it. If you're clever--and Angela you are--you can challenge it, put it in its place, use it for motivation, and set out on your dream. Good luck. Get going. You've got a lot of work to do. I'll be thinking about you.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

* Congratulations to the winners of O Little Town and by Guest Author Janyre Tromp: Zada G., Emily C. Nancy R., Sue M. and Susan B.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

DESCEND TO DARKNESS: A Krewe of Hunters Novella (Fiction) by Heather Graham

I spent a lot of my growing up time with my mom's family. A delightful and fanciful crew straight from Ireland who loved to weave tales and legends. And this book is no different. 

Angela Hawkins Crow awakens to find herself in total darkness. Despite her years as a Krewe agent, she is first seized with panic, but her life and her training kick in. She knows that she must stay calm and go back in her mind to find out how she got where she is...and where she might be. Meanwhile, an eerie phone call comes in at Krewe headquarters, warning them all that Angela has been kidnapped, and lamenting the fact that she can't be saved.

Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader click on DESCEND TO DARKNESS to read more and to email author Heather Graham, you'll get a reply.

Dear Reader Column - January 6, 2023

Dear Reader,

It's my pleasure to share another Honorable Mention column from this year's Write a DearReader Contest. Today's piece was written by Teresa Fronek. Thank you for your entry, Teresa…

Topsy Turvy

My grandmother was born in Oklahoma in 1920, which meant that she spent much of her youth growing up during the depression era in the middle of the Oklahoma Dust Bowl. Life was hard and their crops often failed to grow but they survived and somehow managed to make it work. I remember vividly, the stories she used to tell me of this time and the strange and quirky (I thought) habits she couldn't manage to relinquish until she was much older! 

It seems that because of the continual drought, the crops they grew to thrive or survive, like corn, failed to produce those luscious golden ears from lack of rain and the once fertile ground dried up and became a great land of nothing but dust for miles. The cupboards were filled with plates, cups, saucers and glasses all turned face down. When she asked why, my great grandmother explained that it was the only way to keep them clean! The dust permeated everything, even the often swept floors and cupboards and if they were right side up, they too would be covered by layers of the fine, gritty sand like substance and would be dirty again prior to the meals being served. So, she'd devised a method to prevent having to wash them again before eating off them. The tables were always set minutes before a meal and all of the dishes were placed face down. Even the pots and pans used to cook with were stored in this manner until taken out to prepare the food.

My grandma used to groan and giggle as she recalled eating mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs and grits and experiencing the crunch of the grime between her teeth that often blew in right before or during a meal and how it often appeared as though her mother had over peppered these dishes, when it was just the particles of flying dirt that seemed to be everywhere! She and her older brother used to walk nearly a mile to school each day and by the time they arrived, their clothes and eyes, especially their hair would be covered in layers of dust, so the school has built a sort of boot room, where the children could shake off the dirt before entering the classroom. Not that it did much good because that, too, was filled with a fine layer of it on the floors, desks and on the book shelves. It seemed everywhere they looked or went it was there: DUST! 

About the time she reached her late teens, her father had saved up a bit of a nest egg and he and a few farmer friends had decided to pool their money together and buy the equipment to drill for oil! The life of a farmer was just too hard and my great grandfather was a dreamer. The first year was rough, with working on the farm and hiring men to drill for them but by the second year they struck oil and it started to pay off! They had hit the mother lode and soon they had oil wells all over the Norman, Oklahoma area! Life was about to change drastically! During my grandma's first year of college, her parents made a trip west and purchased property in Southern California.

They were headed to the land of gold and dreams and out of the dust that had covered them for years! My grandmother married and stayed in Oklahoma but while my grandpa was in the war overseas, she packed up their belongings and my mother and joined them. They never returned to live there but wherever they lived the dishes in the cupboards were STILL upside down! I've continued the now unnecessary tradition by placing the plates, bowls and glasses upside down in my cupboards because even though my grandma has passed, I can keep a part of her alive for my children. When they ask about the topsy turvy way I arrange the dishes, I tell them the story from where they came!

– Teresa Fronek, Honorable Mention, 2022 Write a DearReader Contest

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - January 5, 2023

Dear Reader,

I admit sometimes I behave like an old fuddy-duddy when a delivery person comes to my house. It's the kind of behavior that annoys me in other people, so I'm not sure why it happens. Maybe because I worry about the possibility of things going wrong. What if I see a scratch on my new chair when the packing material comes off? I'd have to call the furniture store--it would be a big hassle, maybe even a confrontation. What if the color looks different than it did in the store and I made a big mistake? I'm an uptight mess by the time the doorbell rings, so whatever new item is being delivered, I've killed the joy. And worst of all, the delivery person thinks I'm not friendly. But I really am. 

So last Saturday afternoon when I was home waiting for my new couch, chair and ottoman to be delivered, I had a little talk with myself and I decided to change my usual "delivery behavior." 

The first step to changing your behavior is acknowledging it: 'I,  Suzanne, acknowledge that sometimes I behave like an old fuddy-duddy when a delivery person shows up at the door, and I'm not going to act that way today. I'm going to smile and be friendly.' 

There, that was easy--I'm all better now. But the delivery person could show up today anytime from 12 p.m to 4 p.m. It could be a long wait. What if I have a relapse? Cookies. Nothing relaxes me more than baking, so I mixed up a batch of chocolate chip cookies and just as I was taking a tray out of the oven, the doorbell rang. 

Showtime..."I'm so happy to see you. Come on in, can't wait to see our new furniture. Do you like chocolate chip cookies? I'm baking. Can you smell the cookies? Are you a dunker?" 

You know how sometimes someone can be a little too nice, and they cross over the "she's-a-nut" line? I did cross over, way over. But thankfully when you offer still warm homemade chocolate chip cookies to a delivery man (who, on a hot Florida day, has just hoisted your new sofa up on his back and walked right into the living room, "Where do you want me to put it, Ma'am?") he overlooks a little strangeness.

And he kept overlooking my strangeness when I carried a cold glass of milk out to his truck, two bottles of water, and more chocolate chip cookies piled high on a paper plate, lined with a fancy white paper doily. Then he gave me his card and offered to be my personal delivery person. I think this old fuddy-duddy is cured! 

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - January 4, 2023

Dear Reader,

Years ago, when I lived in Madison, Wisconsin I hosted a talk radio program for a couple of days. I'm here to tell you it's an isolated, make-you-want-to-puke feeling when the red light appears and “You’re on!"

I was doing the show on a dare--kind of. Actually, I set myself up for it. I highly respected the usual host, but he and I had a running joke that was our greeting whenever we would see each other. "Yeah, any idiot could do your show," I would say. "My 6-year-old could write that column of yours," he would respond. And we would wave each other on.

One day when I returned from lunch, amongst my many messages was a note that he had called.

--MESSAGE--

"I'm going to be on vacation next week. You'll be hosting my show on Thursday and Friday. Don't worry, any idiot can do it!"

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - January 3, 2023

Dear Reader,

Scott Simon is a happiness entrepreneur, SYS founder, author of "Scare Your Soul: 7 Powerful Principles for Harnessing Fear and Living Your Most Courageous Life" and today’s guest author at the book club.

Before launching Scare Your Soul, Scott was co-founder of Thrive, a "happiness incubator" for which he gave a TEDx Talk in 2013.

Scott is a sought-after speaker, meditation leader, and high-performance life coach, focusing primarily on creating flourishing lives after major changes such as divorce. He is the proud father of two amazing children, Noah and Teilah.

To contact Scott, and find out more about him and his new book, go to: https://scareyoursoul.com/scott-simon/

When the unexpected email landed in my inbox, I had to read it over twice.

"Scott," the email read, "my name is Carly. You don't know me, but I really need to meet you. Please say yes. How about I meet you at your house this Saturday night at 10:00?"

Not knowing who "Carly" was or why she would want to visit me, I moved to my laptop's delete button. I paused.

Elementary school flashed to mind. Years I spent in anxiety, shyness, and the victim of severe bullying. Back then, all I could do was to try to stay quiet and safe. Invisibility was my preferred state.

Now, I seek out the uncomfortable. Now I don't run from fear; I chase it.

I chose to respond, and to invite Carly into my home.

After an interminably long wait, Saturday night arrived. At 10:00 p.m. on the dot, I heard her knock. As I opened, I saw Carly's absolutely beguiling smile. She had blond hair that cascaded past her shoulders, and wore ripped jeans and a white T-shirt. Tattoos trailed down her arms.

"I'm Carly," she said simply and directly. "We need to talk."

Despite how insanely awkward this whole scene was playing out, I opened the door wide. She stepped inside. I led her back through my kitchen. She kicked off her Birkenstocks and we sat facing each other. For the first time, in the light, I noticed her eyes.

They were open, inquisitive, inviting. Just then, my French Bulldog, Morty, jumped up on the couch between us and began ferociously licking her feet. She laughed out loud. He licked harder.

As this barefooted stranger squealed with delight on my tiny living room couch, I had to laugh myself. What the h ell would this night bring?

After I was able to extricate Morty's tongue from between Carly's toes, she told me why she needed to meet with such urgency. "It is a soul mission," she said. "I was told to call you. By the universe."

From that moment on, we talked for three straight hours.

Carly was deep, kind, and outrageously funny. She was open and vulnerable. She also told me why it was so important to her to meet with me. She told me that she had seen some of the experiences with "Scare Your Soul" that I had posted on Facebook, and felt like I was someone who could really listen to her. Someone who maybe could help her find the courage she needed in her life.

She was unhappy, she revealed. Devastatingly unhappy. Her marriage was on the brink of collapse, and she was worried about the prospect of divorce and what it would mean to her children...and to her. She was sad and scared. She needed hope. And courage.

I shared how getting divorced initially made me feel like I would never find someone to love again. How I felt like damaged goods, how I would have to admit for the rest of my life that I couldn't make my marriage work, and that divorce brought back those wretched feelings of inadequacy from my youth.

At 1:00 a.m., we smiled. We stood and stretched for a moment, and walked stiffly together to the front door.

She said, "Listen, this upcoming week is going to be hell. I need something to look forward to. I loved what you said about a gratitude practice. How about I send you five things I am grateful for each night for a week, and you do the same?"

"Sure. Why don't we just text them to each other? You'll get through the week. I promise."

The next night, I sent her the following:

I am grateful for...

    1. The people who are "smilers"--like Vicki K, who smiles EVERY time I see her in the hallway at the kids' school.

    2. The feeling that I am almost dancing--my sweat flying everywhere--when I am pummeling my boxing coach's mitts.

    3. The sensation of warm, humid air hitting my skin in the morning when I walk Morty.

    4. The moments of supreme peace I feel just after I put my kids to bed, tiptoeing quietly down the dark hallway so as not to wake them.

    5. Doing all the hard things. Not always succeeding. But always trying.

Carly sent me hers. We continued for a few days. We shared more.

At the time of this writing, we have been texting five gratitudes every single night for seven years.

Seven years of nightly practice--13,000 individual gratitudes--has changed my life. And it began with welcoming a stranger into my home.

And into my life.

-- Scott Simon

To contact Scott, go to: https://scareyoursoul.com/scott-simon/

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - January 2, 2023

Dear Reader,

Happy New Year!

My gift to you this holiday season has been the Getting Ready for 2023 Year-End Giveaway. Today's the last day to enter. I'll be announcing winners later this week.

Enter today's drawing to win a 2023 National Park Foundation monthly, hanging calendar (12 x 12), go to: http://www.dearreader.com/giveaway/

Thanks for reading with me (this past year). It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com