Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column - March 20, 2023

Dear Reader,

When you feel comfortable and you believe in yourself, you can do anything. But sometimes if you're not able to reach down inside of yourself and really BELIEVE, you might need to pretend for a while and you might even need some props to help you do it. I did.

I'm going to ramble a little--so hang on.

Years ago, I used to publish a business magazine. When I started the magazine I didn't really know anything about publishing, so for a while, I felt like I was a "pretender" in my business.

My husband and I worked together in the same office and one of the problems that I faced daily was whenever someone would come in and want to talk to the person in charge, they would always insist on speaking to him instead of me. After a lot of discussion, my husband and I decided  maybe I was sending out the wrong cues to visitors. We had a small office, I sat at a desk out in the open, and I dressed casually. We concluded that people probably assumed that I was a receptionist, and that's why they passed me by. (Which was really interesting, because my husband always wore jeans to work.)

Nevertheless, my solution was to start wearing a suit to work and cut my hair short. This was when the corporate hair "bob" was in. My new look worked. Nobody walked in anymore and assumed that my husband was the one in charge.

I'm not sure how long the suits and I were buddies, maybe a little over a year--until I started to itch. It was bizarre. When I would wake up in the morning, I would start to feel an itching sensation all over my body. The itching went on for four days until I finally realized what was going on--I didn't want to wear a suit to work anymore. The first day that I dressed down, I was concerned my old problem would reoccur--but it never did.

When I thought about it, I realized that it's true, clothes do help make the person, and people do treat you differently depending on how you're dressed. But clothes hadn't really been my problem. I was the one who had changed. I finally didn't feel like I was "pretending" anymore.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends like you.

* Congratulations to the winners of Bert and Mamie Take a Cruise by Guest Author John Keyse-Walker: Mary Beth T., Thea G., Joyce R., Nancy R. and Susan G.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 

   This month's Penguin Classic is The Best of Everything by Rona Jaffe, Introduction by Rachel Syme. Start Reading and enter for your chance to win a copy of your own.

Dear Reader Column - December 2, 2022

Dear Reader,

It’s my pleasure to share another Honorable Mention column from this year’s Write a DearReader Contest. Today’s piece was written by Mary Nunn. Thank you for your entry, Mary, I’m never going to look at dimes the same way again…

Finding Dimes

Years ago, I was talking with my cousin about our parents who had passed away (my mom and his father were brother and sister). He worked as a chaplain in a hospital in Philadelphia, and told me how one of his coworkers said that every time she found a dime, it meant that someone who had passed away was saying hello :)  Over the next few years, he would send me pictures of the various dimes that he found, always when he seemed to be needing it the most. I would just smile and think, well, he lives in the city, of course he would be finding dimes everywhere. One day after listening to another coincidence, I mentioned to him that I ‘never’ found a dime, like...ever. He said "Well, did you ever ASK for one? Try specifically asking." So one morning, lying in bed, I was thinking about my mom and really missing her. So I said out loud "Ok mom, I really miss you. How about sending me a dime?" I felt a little foolish, but I really put my heart into the request.

Two days later, at the library where I work, I randomly decided to clear off a windowsill in our program room. And there it was...a dime. I couldn't believe it. I actually teared up! What would a dime be doing on that windowsill that I just happened to be clearing off? A week later, I saw another dime on a bike path when I stopped to take a drink. The next day, another one on the curb in front of the doctor's office. That was just the start of years of finding dimes in the most unusual places, frequently after I have specifically asked, but always connected to some event or date. 

Here’s the even more unusual thing. I have told my dime stories to other friends and family, many of whom would smile indulgently as I did to my cousin...until they started finding dimes of their own. We have a group text going of pictures of dimes that we have found, along with all of the serendipitous stories that go along with them - finding a dime at the bottom of a purse that I randomly chose to bring to a wedding of a friend whose father had just passed away (and I taped the dime in her card :), going to visit my brother on his birthday and finding a dime in the road where I parked my car (and telling him it was our mom saying "happy birthday" :), my friend finding four dimes on the door of her dryer (she said she had NEVER before found any change in her dryer) right after she started asking for dimes. The stories continue, and it has brought comfort and amazement to all of us.

My cousin keeps his dimes in a glass bowl that had been his mother’s. I have all of mine in a mason jar on my desk. A reminder of the beauty, mystery, and connection that we all have.

Do you believe? How can you not? And why wouldn't you?

– Mary Nunn, Honorable Mention, 2022 Write a DearReader Contest

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - December 1, 2022

Dear Reader,  

I cleaned my mailbox the other day and it was so dirty that the experience reminded me of one of those Infomercials on TV where they spray cleaner on a surface that they've intentionally covered with dirt. Then one swipe with a cloth and presto, it's sparkling clean. It's a dramatic difference that leaves a big impression and it was a dramatic difference when I cleaned my mailbox, too. I stood back admiring my work, feeling a real sense of cleaning accomplishment--and then, I looked over at my neighbor's mailbox. Oh dear, it looked pitiful; especially now that mine was all shiny clean. A cleaning urge was coming over me, but I was afraid if I acted on it, I might be committing a social faux paus.

But would it really be such a social infraction for me to clean their mailbox, too? I mean, if I just happened to be walking around outside with a bottle of Simple Green, and a couple of rags in my hand, why, wouldn't it be the neighborly thing to do?

Pondering this question brought to mind an acquaintance of mine who lives in the Midwest. In the summer he is obsessed with uprooting every single dandelion in his yard. Every night when he gets home from work, if he sees one of those little yellow buggers trying to take root, he grabs his hand spade, or a tablespoon (whichever he can get to the fastest) and he digs it up. But a few summers ago, in spite of his daily attention to dandelion details, he felt that he was losing the battle because his next door neighbor wasn't a bit concerned about dandelions, and the seeds from his neighbor's yard would fly freely through the air landing in his. So one afternoon my friend took matters into his own hands, and without an invitation or permission, he dug up all the dandelions that were in his neighbor's yard. I think perhaps he went too far and crossed over the line and I wonder how it happened to him. He's such a low-key kind of guy.

On second thought, I think I'll leave my neighbor's mailbox alone. But then again, I'm just cleaning something, aren't I?  But...maybe this is how it started for my friend, or...maybe I could sneak out there at night with a flashlight and a bottle of Simple Green? It would only take a minute...

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - November 2, 2022

Dear Reader,

That leftover Halloween candy won't last forever, so be sure to enter the November Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway. I love to bake, and even more, I love to give away cookies. The Chocolate Chip giveaway has been a book club tradition since 2000. If you've never won, now's the time to enter. I'm ready to bake, are you ready to "dunk" and munch? Go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/Cookie-Contest-2022.html

My husband and I work together every day. He's an integral part of the book clubs. Frequently he travels with me when I'm going to business appointments. He doesn't actually go to the appointment with me, he prefers to be a behind-the-scenes guy. But whenever introductions are necessary, he jokingly says that he's my "road crew." Actually that's a good description of what he is, except that I don't think most people would give that title the importance that it deserves. I know better.

The road crew are the people that set everything up, attending to details so that when the event happens or the performance takes place, it looks almost effortless. They make other people look good, and that's exactly what my husband does for me.

His intelligence was one of the things that attracted me to him when we first met. He's well-read, always a wealth of information and ideas--and fortunately, he shares them all with me.

He tutors me before every appointment, filling me in on interesting little tidbits that he thinks I might need to know about the company I'm calling on. When I rehearse my material with him, he critiques it and gives me inspiring creative ideas, so by the time I get to my appointment, I'm looking and sounding really smooth. I get the sale, I get the praise, but without my "road crew" it just wouldn't happen.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - October 26, 2022

Dear Reader,

Readers are asking for my pumpkin bread recipe. It really is perfect for fall, and it really does taste divine. Enjoy! 

Pumpkin Bread with Pumpkin Whipped Cream 

3 cups sugar

1 cup vegetable oil

4 large eggs

1 16-ounce can of pumpkin

3 1/2 cups flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon ground allspice

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon ground nutmeg

2/3 cup warm water (105 to 115 F) 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly butter two large loaf pans or 4 small ones. 

Beat sugar, oil, eggs, and pumpkin in large bowl. Sift flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, allspice, cinnamon and nutmeg into another large bowl. Stir into pumpkin mixture. Slowly mix in 2/3 cup warm water. 

Divide batter equally between pans. Bake until golden brown and toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about one hour for two loaves and 40 minutes for four loaves. 

Cool for 10 minutes in pan then run knife around edges of breads. Turn breads out onto racks and cool completely. 

Pumpkin Whipped Cream

You can add the pumpkin whipped cream when you serve it, or just add a dollop of regular whipped cream. 

1 cup chilled whipping cream

3 tablespoons sugar

1/2 cup pumpkin 

Beat cream and sugar to stiff peaks. Fold in 1/2 cup pumpkin.

Store in refrigerator.

Thanks for reading with me. It’s so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - October 24, 2022

Dear Reader,

Some people can walk into a room--without knowing anyone--and they're totally at ease. They move around comfortably, introducing themselves, and by the end of the evening they've made a lot of new acquaintances. This is not something that I can easily do.

Conducting a large meeting, that's not a problem because I have a specific purpose and task at hand. But circulating around a room, when I don't know a single soul in it, now that's a personal challenge.

I've read all the books about how to "work" a room. The conversation openers that the experts recommend sound so easy to deliver when I read them. I think, 'Yea, I can do that.' But when I'm put to the test--faced with the real thing--it's a lot more difficult.

I really don't think anyone else in the room realizes how I'm feeling; it's always been my own secret. People assume because of what I do, that I can roam anywhere with ease and sometimes that's true; I have felt comfortable. Things just naturally flowed and if I do say so, I was impressed with myself and people seemed to enjoy meeting me. But I've never been able to diagnose where my selected courage and ease have come from on those occasions. I guess I just decided ahead of time that it was no big deal, so it wasn't.

So why are there times when it's so uncomfortable for me to walk up to someone, introduce myself and say, "Hi, I'm Suzanne. It's nice to meet you." I'm a project-oriented person who believes that practice does make perfect, or at least makes a person more comfortable. So I've been practicing. Whenever I'm waiting at an airport, or a doctor’s reception room, if someone sits down close to me for more than five minutes they become my dry run--so to speak.

I don't know if this practicing idea will really work, but I've met some interesting people. In fact, they're usually so interesting that I forget myself, and I just have fun. And maybe that's the secret ingredient I've been missing. Forget "working" the room, and just talk one-on-one. Could it be as simple as that?

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - October 21, 2022

Dear Reader, 

*Today is the last day to enter this month’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway. Three lucky book club readers will receive a box of my homemade cookies, delivered to them via FedEx. Be sure to enter. Go to: http://www.dearreader.com/giveaway/

Speaking of cookies…Janet D, a reader at the book club, tried one of my grandchildren’s favorite cookie recipe, and she sent me a photo. 

"Hello Suzanne, I volunteer at my library (Hopkinton Town Library) every Wednesday. I love to bake, and often take them treats. Coincidentally, your grandchildren's recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies arrived in your Tuesday email, and I made them to take to HTL today. I've attached a photo of our children's librarian enjoying a cookie.

I often tweak my chocolate chip cookies, adding other things to the basic dough, but this is the first time I've added pumpkin. Last year, I chopped up leftover Halloween candies and mixed them in, calling them Surprise Cookies, since there was no way of knowing what would be in which one. Perhaps your grandchildren could try that after Halloween, if they haven't eaten all their loot.

Thanks for your enjoyable morning emails," -- Janet D.

If you missed the Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookie recipe, you’ll find it and a photo of Janet at: http://www.dearreader.com/photo/cookie-10-23-22.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - October 20, 2022

Dear Reader,

I'm ready to bake if you're ready to dunk and munch some of my homemade chocolate chip cookies. Every month (except during the summer because chocolate doesn't travel well), it's Chocolate Chip Cookie giveaway time at the book club. Three lucky book club readers receive a box of my homemade cookies, delivered to them via FedEx. Be sure to enter today's Chocolate Chip Cookie giveaway. Go to: http://www.dearreader.com/giveaway/

When I need inspiration, I put on my headphones and turn the music up--way up. Or, I call my muse.

Years ago, when I watched the 1999 movie The Muse (starring Albert Brooks, Sharon Stone, and Andie MacDowell) I was instantly mesmerized by the fairy tale magic of what it would be like to have my own personal muse.

With a child-like belief, I secretly decided that I should get one. It was really a lot of fun to think about it, but sadly after only one day, the responsible adult in me took over and the playful idea drifted away.

Until one afternoon when I was writing and I discovered my muse. There's usually a natural flow I experience when I write. But if I'm missing a word or reading a first draft--and I know what I want to say is in there, but I just can't seem to pull it out--I pick up the phone and share my copy with Valerie. Sometimes she doesn't say anything, or she'll just say one simple word and like magic, the word I was looking for appears. 

I realize now that I've had a muse for a long time. I just didn't recognize her for what she really is.

Isn't it fun to know that fairy tales still do come true? All you have to do is believe and look in your own backyard.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column - October 19, 2022

Dear Reader, 

Here we go again!

I'm ready to bake if you're ready to dunk and munch some of my homemade chocolate chip cookies. Every month (except during the summer because chocolate doesn't travel well), it's Chocolate Chip Cookie giveaway time at the book club. Three lucky book club readers receive a box of my homemade cookies, delivered to them via FedEx. Be sure to enter today's Chocolate Chip Cookie giveaway. Go to: http://www.dearreader.com/giveaway/

I've been “creatively hot” at 3 a.m. lately. It's been my magic hour. Creative ideas come easily and I've felt like getting out of bed and writing. I've also been doing some deep thinking and examining my life (which I've decided I'm pretty pleased with). I’ve noticed that if a business problem has been driving me crazy during the day, at 3 a.m. a solution magically appears. I'm grateful for that, but I'm a take-immediate-action kind of person, so as soon as I figure out a solution, I want to get on the phone and take care of things.

I want to call a business associate right now, at this very moment, and take care of a problem. But it's 3 a.m., and I’m certain no one will be answering the phone until 8 o’clock. The person I need to talk to is on the West Coast, which means I'd have to wait until 11 a.m. my time to make the call. I could ring right now and get his voice mail, but then he'd realize that I left him a message at three in the morning, which might make me appear just a bit strange. But then again, if he reads my 'Dear Reader' column with any frequency, he probably already knows that.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

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Dear Reader Column - October 17, 2022

Dear Reader,  

Last week, after returning from evacuating for hurricane Ian, I needed to clean up my office and my desk. I actually enjoy cleaning my house, however, I never look forward to organizing the stacks of stuff piled high on my desk. But this time I got a pleasant surprise. I found some old notes that I'd written to myself and some interesting "stuff" that I never even knew I had. My old notes, written on scraps of paper and old take-out menus, were particularly precious to me. Rereading each piece of paper, I recalled where I was at the time that I'd written it--notes written on a plane, in a hotel room, notes to myself when I was pretty miserable and feeling like a big loser, and notes written when I was thrilled.

Some of the things I'd written embarrassed me, and I sure was glad that I was the one who found them and not someone else. One story I'd written made me cry, and a couple of things that I'd written actually impressed me, "Wow, did I write that?"

Mom always told me I'd feel really good after I'd cleaned up my "space", and now I finally believe her.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com