Dear Reader,
Please welcome today's guest author Detective Kim Mager, a 30-year law enforcement officer, who retired from the Ashland City Police in 2022. Kim works for a prosecutor's office and still holds a law enforcement commission. She specializes in sex offenses, violent crime, and child abuse and has investigated over 2,000 cases. Kim has a BA from Ashland University and graduated Top Gun of her Police Academy. She is married to husband, Dan, and they have three children, Corbin, Macy, and Reed.
Kim's new true crime title (with Lisa Pulitzer) is, A Hunger to Kill: A Serial Killer, a Determined Detective, and the Quest for a Confession That Changed a Small Town Forever. In this fascinating and profoundly chilling account, Detective Kim Mager, a real-life version of Clarice Starling, reveals how she closed in on-and broke-one of Ohio's most infamous serial killers.
You could win one of three copies of A Hunger to Kill. Send an email with your preferred shipping address (in case you're a winner) to: [email protected]
Finding Solitude
As a detective, I've spent 30 years interviewing victims of sex offenses and violent crimes. I've sat across from countless suspects and relentlessly pursued their confessions. There have been many times when I have felt like I was suffocating upon entering a scene or when hearing a victim recount their trauma. There never seemed to be a right time to process what I had seen and heard because It wasn't about me, it was about the job I had to do. It was impacting me incrementally and it wasn't apparent to me for most of my career. I spent all of my time looking ahead and focusing on what I needed to do next. I mistakenly believed that because my cases were successful, that was the measure of whether I was okay. I was so wrong.
I reside back along a lane that is so far off the road, you can't hear traffic. I'm surrounded by rolling hills, trees, and a moving creek. For the majority of my career, I took it all for granted. A while back, after a particularly difficult case, I found myself walking my property. I didn't have a plan--I just felt a strong need to go. I walked until I found a small, grassy area between a pine grove and a hardwood forest. I sat down on the ground next to a century-old fallen tree with outgrown roots. I looked around and was taken by the natural beauty surrounding me. I became quiet and still. I felt so small and alone, almost apprehensive. I was afraid to even think because I feared losing control. I looked all around, with an unusual awareness. I could see the sun breaking through the trees, in glowing rays. I could smell the earthy decay of the forest floor, and I noticed the distinct scent of the walnut trees. Birds were rhythmically calling to each other and two squirrels were effortlessly jumping tree-to-tree. I could hear the water rippling over the river rock in the shallow creek. I had lived in the midst of all of that, but on that day, it was different.
I sat in silence, in a state of repressive coping. After a long pause, I slowly submitted and allowed myself to cautiously reflect. I stayed there for hours, giving thought to my cases, my family, my faith, and my purpose. I began to consciously focus on connecting with myself. I started to feel less alone. It felt surreal. I then realized I had been missing something. I didn't know I was looking for it, but I had found it--solitude. I found a space where I could connect exclusively with myself. A place where I could breathe.
I now recognize the importance of encouraging others to find solitude. It doesn't have to be in the middle of a forest; it can be anywhere. It's simple, yet profound. Solitude is a state of being alone without feeling lonely. Solitude allows us to stay grounded and reconnect with ourselves. It lets us find calmness and inner focus. It's so critical to our well-being.
Although it took many years, I'm so thankful for the ability to reflect.
I'm drawn to that peaceful spot.
-- Kim Mager
You could win one of three copies of A Hunger to Kill Send an email with your preferred shipping address (in case you're a winner) to: [email protected]
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
Comments