Dear Reader,
Every now and then I go to the shrink for a tune-up. Usually I end up on the "couch" because there's something I don't like about myself, or I’m feeling very sad and I can’t seem to work it out on my own. (By the way, if you've never been to see a therapist, most people don't really lie on the couch like they do in the movies.)
I do my homework before I go to my appointment, making a list of things I think might be troubling me. And after pleasantries, I begin reading aloud my list of woes, announcing item after item, as if it’s a mental health grocery list for Suzanne. I read items number 1,2,3,4 and I’m feeling really good about my advanced self work, because they seem to ring true. But then when I start reading number 5, maybe 6, my voice chokes and I’m holding back the tears. And there it is--it’s in there somewhere, the reason I feel so sad.
I stop. I can’t go on, because I’m afraid if I let go of the tears they might never end. I look at the therapist and her eyes give me permission to take my time, and to know without a doubt that I am not being judged. And when the moment’s just right, she asks the classic, healing question, “So how does that make you feel?”
It’s easy for me to realize when I need a mental health tune up, but it sure takes a lot of coaxing to follow through and actually go to the appointment. I’m all enthused the day I make the appointment, but then the closer it gets to the actual sitting down and spilling my guts stuff, I start feeling a little awkward about the idea. I do my darndest to coax myself into believing I really don't have anything to talk about, that it’s going to be a waste of money, so I should cancel. But I never do, and I can't say that I've ever been disappointed.
Through the years I've learned the best way for me to solve a problem, is to turn it into an “assignment.” So before I leave the therapist I craft an assignment for Suzanne. Because when I’m focusing on my daily mental health assignment, eventually the problem doesn’t feel so overwhelming, and day by day the sadness disappears.
Yes, every now and then I go to a therapist for a tune-up, and today’s the day to get my new assignment. So how does that make me feel?
Very happy!
Thanks for reading with me. It’s so good to read with friends.
* Congratulations to the winners of a Bluebird Pop-up Card Karen E. and Glendel W.
* This month's Penguin Classics book is People from Bloomington by Budi Darma. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win.
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