Dear Reader,
(A note from Suzanne... I was finally able to have my gallbladder surgery. Thank you for all the get-well wishes, I really appreciate it. I've been sharing some of my favorite funny columns, while I’m on the mend, because it’s true: Laughter is the best medicine!)
My toilet whistles at me. It's kind of a sly, little "Yoo hoo! Come hither!" sort of whistle. This is a new thing for me and my toilet. Our past propinquity has been the customary toilet/owner relationship. We keep each other clean and tidy.
Don't get me wrong--I always applaud creativity. So at first, a whistling toilet was actually quite amusing. I was even a little boastful, thinking I probably had the most entertaining toilet on the block. Why, my toilet whistles every time I flush! It even puckers up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. But this whistling thing is beginning to get a little irritating.
You know how a joke is hilarious the first time out, still funny the second go-around, but after three times, the punch line just doesn't do it for you anymore? Well, my toilet has whistled one too many tunes.
I asked friends if they had any ideas about how to solve the whistling toilet mystery, but they were only amused. "Why does your toilet whistle, Suzanne? Maybe it wants to play, 'Name That Tune?' Maybe it thinks you have a cute butt."
O.K., it's time to call a professional.
"Joe's Plumbing. Can I help you? Why does your toilet whistle? Well, maybe it thinks you've got a cute...."
Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one before.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
* Congratulations to the winners of The Lifeguards by Guest Author Amanda Eyre Ward: Dorothy P., Katrina W., Lisa M., Eileen M., and Karyn W.
And congratulations to the winners of Almost a Whisper by Guest Author Priscilla Masters: Janice D., Nancy R., and Sharon B.
Suzanne Beecher
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