Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column - March 3, 2022

Dear Reader,

I'm not as tough as I used to be and sometimes it makes me feel like a failure--like I'm settling for less. I've always prided myself in being strong. People admire you, "Look at her, nothing fazes her."

Being tough was something I learned from my mother. My father was an alcoholic and even though my mother was a woman who struggled with her self-esteem, somewhere along the way she latched onto how to be strong, how to be tough. She never talked about it, but I knew from watching her, that my mother felt she could always find a way to do what needed to be done. And she did. But being tough, it took everything my mother had, and unfortunately it left her with nothing to give back, except a daily lesson about how to be tough.

I used to be angry, where was my mother's softer side? Why were the words, "I love you," and "I'm proud of you," so difficult for her to say. But then, when I thought about the day-to-day things that happened in our family when I was growing up, I realized there wasn't any room for her to let down. You can't be soft when you're struggling to survive.

Having a sense, that I will be okay, that I can make it through no matter how bad things might get--I have my mother to thank for that gift. And through the years I've come to realize that it really was a gift. Love comes in many forms. Sometimes it's disguised, looking rough around the edges, but being tough was the skill that got my mother through her life and she wanted to make sure that I made it through, too. She did indeed love me and she passed along the best she had to give. And I thank her.

I'm not angry any more, because now I understand. I've taken my mother's gift and softened it, which means I'm not as tough as I used to be, and it feels pretty good. I wish my mother would have had a chance to feel it, too.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

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Dear Reader Column - March 2, 2022

Dear Reader,

It's Tuesday and I just finished "cookie-ing" the sanitation workers who pick up my trash promptly at 13 minutes to 7 every Tuesday morning. The actual trash guys pickup first, and the recycle truck follows close behind. I've created a toolbox of things that help keep me feeling happy and looking at life in a positive way, and handing a bag of cookies to the trash guys on Tuesday morning, is one of those tools.

The act of baking and giving away cookies creates a warm, fuzzy kind of feeling inside of me. Actually it's therapy, because it changes my day. If someone is unkind to me, and I keep thinking and rethinking about what happened, I need to do something quickly so I can let it go. For me, I've discovered the best thing I can do is to start baking, so I have a freezer full of cookies on hand, for any 911 Good Deed Emergency.

I'm blessed, because when I'm frazzled and need cookie therapy, most of the time opportunities to 'give,' come to me. When my FedEx man shows up at the door he waits a little after he rings the bell (because he loves my cookies), so it's always an opportunity to give.

But sometimes I have to go looking for opportunities to give. Like the other day, when I was feeling overwhelmed and desperately in need of cookie therapy, yep, there he was. I could see him through my front window. A street crew was working in my neighborhood and the worker standing across the street, seemed to be keeping an eye on a big pipe, just waiting around until the rest of the crew worked their way down to him.

I desperately needed therapy--it was a 911 Good Deed Emergency for sure. So I took a bag of cookies out of the freezer and grabbed a bottle of water. But as I was walking out the door, I thought to myself, 'This is kind of weird, even for me. What is he going to think? I can't tell him I need to give away cookies in order to regain my sanity,' and of course I didn't. I simply told him I baked yesterday, it looked like he had a lot of waiting to do, so I thought he might like some cookies and cold water.

"Chocolate chip cookies! Thank you, thank you. These remind me of the cookies my grandmother used to make" and he smiled.

Mission accomplished--for both of us.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

CHANGE WITH ME (FICTION) by Kristen Proby

I'm so excited for you to read my all-new novella in my With Me In Seattle series. I just love the idea of someone walking into a new rental after traveling across the United States,  only to discover that someone else has also rented the same apartment! And what if that someone just happened to be the most famous man on Earth? The sexy shenanigans that ensue are just too much fun. I hope you enjoy watching these two find friendship...and love.

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Dear Reader Column - March 1, 2022

Dear Reader,

Today's guest author, Benjamin Gilmer, is a family medicine physician but still a teacher at heart for UNC medical students and MAHEC family medicine residents. He continues to be a pilgrim in the mountains of western North Carolina where he lives with wife and two children. He has written his first book, The Other Dr. Gilmer: Two Men, a Murder, and an Unlikely Fight for Justice, which is being released today.

The book is the complete story that he first told to millions on This American Life about starting his life as a physician and following in the footsteps of a presumed murderer with the same name. Benjamin has committed the last ten years to understanding the other Dr. Gilmer, and advocating for his release from prison. He is producing a feature film along with Concordia Films that speaks to this advocacy pilgrimage and why we should treat the mentally ill, not incarcerate them.

Contact Dr Gilmer via https://benjamingilmer.com/contact/

I needed to be a pilgrim!

Back in the 90's, while trying to sort myself out, I decided to become a pilgrim. At the time, I didn't understand the significance of walking a thousand miles from Arles, France to the tomb of St. James in Santiago, Spain. Twenty years later, I finally understand.

The Camino de Santiago is an ancient pilgrimage, one that was well-travelled during the middle-ages and likely the most significant unifying element in Europe's history. People walked from every corner of Europe to Santiago. Some traveled for penitence, others walked as a spiritual journey, but all were in search of something. My walk was a portal, a transition into a new life from teacher to doctor. I was thirty and a late-bloomer to medicine. Life was complex, and I was about to give up everything I loved: my job as a teacher, scientific endeavors, and a relationship. So, I decided to walk.

The Camino has been revealing universal signs to pilgrims for hundreds of years and that was what I needed--a mystical sign to reveal my new path, and to soften this life transition. Only days after returning home, I was to start medical school, leaving behind my previous life as a teacher and neurobiologist and a woman I loved.

My first realization.

Each literal step of the Camino offered something: a breath, a pause, an experience. After a decade preparing for medical school, I realized I had never slowed down, not for a moment. The Way of St. James offered space to experience what I hadn't seen in so long, and to have a different tactile experience with the world: birds that I could finally hear singing, the whisperings of the wind, the heat of the sun at every angle throughout the day, the cries of muscles that had not experienced walking 20 miles every day, and voices that emanated from the silence of my own brain.

I was awoken.

Thinking of the contemporary life I have chosen as a physician and writer, I dream about my pilgrimage experiences often and deeply cherish my Camino's many gifts. I yearn for walks, and have had twenty years to reflect on the importance of being still, and listening.

Writing the Other Dr. Gilmer was another Camino. Doing so required persistence, and forced me to be reflective again and open my eyes to the universal, but also to myself. Each page was another step forward, another opportunity to experience with open eyes.

I am grateful for the teachings of both journeys.

-- Benjamin Gilmer

Contact Dr Gilmer via https://benjamingilmer.com/contact/

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.

SAPPHIRE SUNSET (FICTION) by C. Travis Rice

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Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader click on SAPPHIRE SUNSET to read more and to email author C. Travis Rice, you'll get a reply.