Dear Reader,
Two inquiring minds want to know....
"Hi, Ms. Suzanne...thank you for all the fun of the daily book club emails. They always bring a little joy to my day and to some of my friends as well.
However, today they've brought me and my friend a mystery, and while my friend loves mysteries I hate them. So we're hoping you can rescue our poor wee, addled brains and solve this one for us. My friend and I were chatting about favorite columns, and I said I love the one about questions. 'Me too,' my friend said. Though further discussion yielded the fact that we both remembered two different columns. I thought the column was about questions you ask yourself before committing to doing something.
My friend thought it was questions you ask to start great conversations with people that make them feel genuinely cared about. Hmm, now was my friend right? Was I? Were we both? Were neither? Perhaps this was a column we just thought you had written, but hadn't been created yet?"
Warmly, Robin
(Suzanne replies:)
Robin, both questions sound like topics I would write about. I don't recall ever making an actual list of questions, yet I can't say for sure because I've been writing (M-F) since 1999 (which is over 5,000 columns). But after thinking more about your friend's question, about how to make people feel genuinely cared about, the word 'approachable' keeps coming to mind.
In order to strike up a conversation and make people feel genuinely cared about, I think it's important to be approachable and apparently I've felt that way for a long time. Because when I searched through columns over the past 21 years, again and again--there was the word 'approachable.' So today, I'm sharing one of those columns...
One of my goals in life is to be approachable. If someone walked into a room filled with strangers and they needed assistance, I would like to be the person they feel comfortable enough to come over and talk to. Don't get the wrong idea. It's not like I'm out to save the world and I have no desire to solve everyone's problems, but I think it brings people a lot of comfort when they feel like they're not alone.
I try to simply be myself, extending a joyful, fun spirit that invites people to say hello. So what you read in my column is pretty much what you'd get, if you met me. Having said that, there have been occasions when I've woke up in the middle of the night panicking, "Oh my gosh, I shouldn't have written that in tomorrow's column. Or, I shouldn't have talked so openly to the woman I met yesterday. What will people think?"
Putting your heart out there can be risky business, but if I want to give my best, I need to get to the place inside of me that's a little vulnerable. It can be scary. Give a lot, put it all out there, and someone may take advantage, because some people take all you have to give and give nothing back in return. But it's worth the risk--giving a little bit of myself--because readers and friends, even strangers, have given the nicest gifts back.
No pretending, no hiding my flaws, no judgement, just simple words from my heart seem to be enough to put folks at ease, and hopefully make me approachable.
Robin, thanks for sending in your email and in an upcoming column, I'll write about questions I ask myself before committing to doing something.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
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