Dear Reader,
Robin, a reader at the book club, wrote asking if I'd written a column about "Questions I ask myself before committing to doing something."
I don't recall ever writing about my thought process in saying "Yes" or "No" but thinking about it now, I realize I used to say "Yes" a lot more often, even when I really wanted to say "No." Guilt used to be behind many, "Yes, I'd love to." replies. I grew up in the Midwest, and at least in my house, if you were going to decline, you'd better be able to back that "No" up with a detailed explanation. Once I was out on my own, and outgrew feeling guilty about saying no, unfortunately I replaced the word "guilt" with "should."
I "should" do this, it will be good for my career. I'm good at what this person is asking me to do and it's for charity. So I should say yes, even though I've been working a lot of hours and I feel I really need to take a day for myself.
When I turned 60, I finally decided I'd be more choosy about how I spent my time and energy. In younger years, my energy seemed endless, not so much now. So even though I'd be good at this volunteer opportunity, and it was for a good cause, I'd rather work on finishing a quilt I've started instead.
Should I say yes, or should I say no? Thankfully it's not even a question I ask myself anymore. Instead, I get up every morning and ask, "What is my assignment today?"
Then I sit quietly and spend some time listening. I don't hear a booming voice, "Suzanne, this is today's assignment!" But asking the question and spending some time reflecting, gives me peace of mind throughout the day, and a confidence that whatever comes my way, I'll know for certain whether it's part of my assignment.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
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