Dear Reader,
I'm always looking for the "funny." I'm featuring one of my favorite columns today, hopefully to inspire you to start writing and enter my 16th Annual Write a DearReader Contest. You'll find all the details here.
She's a good daughter, about my age, and every year right before summer officially begins in Florida she battens down the hatches on her 80-year-old (snowbird) father's waterfront condo. The first year she did the deed, everything looked secure, so she closed the door and they headed back to Indianapolis. But when she brought her dad back in the fall, it was apparent that someone had sublet their condo without permission.
"It was all new to me," the woman sitting next to me on the plane said, "but since you live in Florida, you probably know all about sewer rats, don't you?"
No, couldn't say that I'd ever had the privilege of meeting one, but I had the feeling I was going to hear all about them.
Apparently sewer rats aren't content with their underground decor, and why should they be when, in the summer, there are perfectly good condos going to waste? So they pack their bags and move in.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
It's a sewer rat knocking on your toilet seat.
Yep, rats swim up through the sewer pipes, lift the lid on your toilet seat, walk right into your vacant condo, and make themselves at home for the summer--first one out gets dibs on the master bedroom!
Sewer rats are no fools. While most of us are spending the six weeks before summer trying to get into shape so we look good in our swimsuits, sewer rats are working out with a personal trainer, building up their biceps, for the big push--on your toilet seat.
Actually when you think about it, sewer rats are performing a kind of public service. No need to pay a house sitter to watch your place over the summer, sewer rats will gladly house sit your condo for free.
Heck, they'll even water your plants if you leave your cable TV hooked up. And a little suggestion; it would be a nice gesture if you left some cheese as a thank you gift. Everybody likes to be appreciated--even sewer rats.
"But I fixed those sewer rats good the second year," my seatmate continued. "I researched it on the Internet. You fill up your toilet with antifreeze, strap duct tape around the rim of your toilet seat and then top it off with something heavy like bricks."
I could see it now--a kind of hot fudge sewer rat sundae challenge. If a sewer rat can hold his breath long enough to swim through the antifreeze, rip through the duct tape with those razor sharp incisors and heave-ho, push that lid open, it's paradise for the summer.
And I'd have to say if a sewer rat could make it through all that, I think he's earned his keep, don't you?
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.
BLOOD OF ZEUS (Fiction) by Meredith Wild & Angel Payne
Mysterious Kara Valari dodges the paparazzi and her famous family's dramas by hiding in the lecture halls of the college she's attending. Cursed with inexplicable strength and godlike stature, literature professor Maximus Kane knows all about darkness. Stars collide when Kara walks into his class. She's Hollywood royalty and forbidden fruit, and Maximus is sure she's the answer to everything.
Go to: AUTHORBUZZ click on BLOOD OF ZEUS to read more and to email authors Meredith Wild & Angel Payne, you'll get a reply.
KIDSBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.
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