Dear Reader,
If you're looking for a smile and a laugh, you'll find them in today's column, written by guest author Tom Threadgill, author of Collision of Lies.
As I sat at the drive-thru waiting to order breakfast the other day, one of those random thoughts occurred. If you can be overwhelmed and you can be underwhelmed, is the normal state of things being whelmed? For example, say you try a new restaurant and your meal is okay. Not great, not bad.
"Hey," your friend says. "How was dinner?"
"I was whelmed."
That got me trying to remember the last time I was overwhelmed. Submerged by a tidal wave of emotion so powerful it threatened to disrupt my very existence. I didn't have to go back far in my memory banks, and it's an experience I bet all of you share with me. Let's boil it down to a single word, shall we?
Toothpaste.
I don't typically believe things were better in the old days. Simpler, maybe, but not necessarily better. Except when it comes to toothpaste. As I stood in my local megastore surveying the options, my shopping chore moved from whelming to overwhelming. Used to be you had a few different brands to choose from, each with exactly one product. Your family likes Crest? Grab it and go. Not anymore, my friend.
Crest now has slightly under a gazillion kinds of toothpaste, all identical except on some subatomic scale. Whitening, sensitivity protecting, freshening, gum repairing, enamel shielding, deep cleaning, and all possible variations and combinations. And if things weren't confusing enough, it doesn't matter what you want because every box looks the same. It's like looking for a needle in a needle stack.
And forget switching brands. They all flood the shelves. It's so bad, nine out of ten dentists now recommend you use the buddy system when buying toothpaste. Tag out when you start to get woozy.
You'll eventually grab something (the wrong one, your spouse will inform you later) and flee the area, your sanity barely intact. After a while, your pulse will return to normal and the spots in front of your eyes will fade.
Until you get to the toilet paper aisle. I'm not sure what a "regular" roll is, but nobody sells it. Now you have to grab your slide rule to figure out whether the twelve-pack of jumbo rolls is a better buy than the six-pack of mega rolls. Or maybe borrow a forklift and grab the twenty-four pack of double rolls? Oh, and would you like one-, two-, or three-ply? Ultra-strong or comfort plus or gentle care?
And don't get me started on deodorant. Wait...that came out wrong, but you know what I mean.
Is it just me? Write me at [email protected] and let me know I'm not alone.
-- Tom Threadgill
Tom Threadgill is the author of several thrillers, each with a distinct focus on clean, suspenseful action with strong character development. His fourth novel is Collision of Lies. Tom and his wife live in rural Tennessee, where he spends his time woodworking, watching hockey, and dodging phone calls from his editor.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
AUTHORBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.
SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS (Fiction) by Jennifer Probst
I love a good office romance, especially when there's high stakes involved. When Jonathan Lake gets the opportunity to run for Governor, his burgeoning feelings for his trusted assistant begins to overshadow his need to win...and may cost him the election. But will Alyssa allow him to gamble his career on an uncertain future? It's full of swoon worthy romance, humor, and some rescue animals along the way.
Go to: AUTHORBUZZ click on SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS to read more and to email author Jennifer Probst, you'll get a reply.
This month's Penguin Classics book is The Awakening, by Kate Chopin. I have a copy of the book to share with a lucky reader, so start reading and enter for your chance to win.
KIDSBUZZ: Click here to discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win.
Comments