Dear Reader,
Bestselling novelist David Mark, is today's guest author. A former crime reporter David has written eight novels in the McAvoy series, as well as two McAvoy novellas. His first historical thriller, The Zealot's Bones, was a Sunday Times Book of the Year. His latest book is, A Rush of Blood.
David told me he keeps very busy, "I have a lot on the boil. Books, plays, and film adaptations, but it's mealtimes with the kids in their ramshackle country house that is the real horror story."
Please welcome bestselling novelist David Mark. Contact at www.davidmarkwriter.co.uk
I'll have to make this quick as I've got potatoes roasting upstairs. That's not a euphemism. I live in a converted pub. It's centuries old, looks like something out of a Thomas Hardy, and has one or two architectural 'quirks'. It's the sort of place that you drive past and go 'ooh, I wonder what sort of peculiar person lives there'. So, now you have an answer. Me, my fiancee, our five children, two cats, one dog, and apparently, two rabbits, though much work was done to conceal this fact from 'Dad'.
If you're looking for my front door, head for the middle of nowhere and turn left. I can see the County Durham sign from one window and the Welcome to Northumberland one from another, which I play to my advantage on the council tax front. It's a big sturdy muddle of a place--something designed on Minecraft by a pre-teen high on Red Bull. The kitchen is on the first floor and the office is on the ground. The living room is upstairs, next to the two shower rooms, which don't work simultaneously. My bedroom is next to the office, which means I have less far to drag myself at the end of the day and am thus suffering far fewer carpet burns to the face, which is a major plus. There's a great old-fashioned kitchen with a built-in range on the ground floor, but previous owners blocked that up, so we now use it as a 'nothing whatsoever' room. I recently discovered that our 13-year-old has got pet rabbits in there. I think I was out when this discussion took place.
Sorry, yes, I was talking potatoes. That's not a euphemism, either. Tonight we're having those nice minted lamb burgers, with roasties, buttered greens and corn on the cob, which is well up the culinary ladder from the Findus Crispy Pancakes, Alphabetti Spaghetti and margarine on Milk Roll of my youth.
Still, apparently it's still a long way short of the pretentious middle class fare enjoyed by the sort of children who have a favourite type of pesto and who won't eat ice cream unless it's been organically farmed. I'm not a cruel man, but some of the kids who come for dinner bring their own hummus and carrot sticks and won't touch dairy products unless we can provide photographic evidence of the cow looking happy and having its back massaged during the milking process.
There are definitely more of these children in our lives than there used to be. I keep being introduced to kids whose names sound like Victorian illnesses. I confidently expect to meet a Rubella before the month is out. They're not backwards in coming forwards, these Hermiones and Willoughbys. Happy to tell you that it's rude to dip your sausage roll in your latte, and that leftover quarter-pounders shouldn't be re-heated in the microwave. But it's a changing world, I guess.
Oh damn it, that's the smoke alarm....
If you ever want to save me from myself, get in touch through my website at www.davidmarkwriter.co.uk or follow me at @davidmarkwriter
--David Mark
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
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