Dear Reader,
It's always a week filled with words at the book club. But this week, the words circling around inside my head are personal puzzles. Puzzling word pieces waiting to be assembled into a column. And when I do a final read-through, I realize some things in my life I've worked out and made changes, others, apparently I'm still working on...
The questions I'm afraid to ask, are the ones I need to ask. But what if they say "no"? What if they're upset? I'm afraid to ask because I'm afraid of the answer. Don't want to have to deal with the negativity. "Stir the pot and the soup might not be tasty," as my grandmother used to warn. But is it really easier for me to pretend that everything is okay, when I know in my heart, and the other person knows too, that things are not?
Some folks prefer to ignore that "feeling in the air" figuring that in time, things will work themselves out. And it's true, sometimes that approach works. But for me, when I let things stew in their own juices, in the midst of the stewing process I lose part of myself. When I'm afraid to speak up because I'm worried I might not be able to deal with the outcome, then I'm living in fear. And that's no good. It changes who I am. It steals the joy; sucks it right out of my heart and my life.
The questions I'm afraid to ask are the ones I need to ask. Because as Joe Purdy reminds me in his song, "Good Days"...
"It ain't the dark I'm afraid of, it's the light."
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
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