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Dear Reader,
When I'm out walking and I see a sign featuring a dog who's assumed the position, with "No-No!" words featured underneath, the message is clear. The homeowner is laying down an elimination law. Don't let your dog poop in my yard. I get it. Who wants poop in their yard?
But honestly, every time I've passed by one of those signs, I've always felt that planting a sign--sometimes two--in a front yard might be going a little overboard. Maybe even daring someone to poop in their yard--the dog, not the owner. (Although, it's the owner who's the real problem.)
Yes dogs poop, and sometimes their owners are bad owners and they don't pick up the poo. But really, what's the big deal? How often could it happen? I've lived in my home for 25 years and never had a misplaced poop--not one single time.
You know how you never really understand something until you've experienced it yourself?
It's true. I never really felt the soul of poop, I never really felt a homeowner's poop pain, until yesterday when I felt a squish, was treated to a wafting whiff, and when I looked at the bottom of my shoe it was covered with poop. I was shocked, then I felt angry, but of course the pooper and their owner were long gone. So now unfortunately, I do understand.
I won't be putting a sign in my yard, but I can fully commiserate with folks who do. The messages on their signs are direct, and for anyone walking by, who doesn't have a poop problem, the signs are quite amusing.
To quote some actual signs:
"Don't use our yard as a restroom."
"Nobody wants to step in your dog's poop.
Be a responsible owner. Shame on you!"
"We have video. We know where you live. If you don't pick up after your dog, we'll send our grandson over to poop in your yard."
"Found: A Big Pile of Dog Crap There is no such thing as a Poop Fairy. Pick it up."
A sign written in chalk on a sidewalk--literally a walk of shame:
"Please, please, I'm begging you, take your poop with you."
A sign of a homeowner's "last straw"...
"To the person who lets their dog poop on our lawn and doesn't clean it up. First of all it is rude. We live here and pay a lot of money to live here. Our house is not a toilet. We are watching you. The next time you let your dog poop in our yard and don't pick it up, I will personally follow you home and wait until you get inside, pull down my pants and take a huge dump on your doorstep." Love, Annie
And finally, a homeowner who's thrown in the poop towel. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Their sign reads:
"Poop in plants. Poop in the streets. Poop in other piles of poop.
Poop everywhere!"
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
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