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Dear Reader,
When I was checking out at the grocery store yesterday, before the clerk totaled up my bill, she asked if I'd like to make a donation to All Children's Hospital. Every year when it's fundraising time, and the grocery clerk asks if I'd like to donate, yes indeed I do.
The question always takes me back to a column I wrote when my grandson Paul was very young, and my husband and I spent the night by his bedside when he was a patient in All Children's Hospital. Paul is happy and healthy today, but I'll never forget the words I wrote in the middle of that long, worrisome night...
My mother told me the day before she died that what was really important in life, was love. It was a strange sentiment to hear her convey, because my mother had a hard time showing her love. But somehow at the end, she must have gotten a glimpse of what I saw and felt the other night.
It's four in the morning. Paul, my grandson, is in All Children's Hospital and I'm spending the night with him. There are four cribs in the room, each one has a baby in it and there's a mom, dad, or grandparent like me, sitting in the chair beside it. I've never been comfortable sharing a room with anyone, but this evening, even though we're all strangers, instantly there's a bond. Each one of us is hoping to hear good news when the doctors make their rounds in the morning. Each one of us is hoping nothing bad happens during the night.
There's a curtain in-between each baby's crib, but there's really no privacy. You can't help but overhear. Across the room, a husky man is leaning over a crib whispering to his four month old daughter, "Don't worry honey, Daddy will always take care of you." And then he rings for the nurse, because Daddy's trying to figure out how to safely give his baby girl a hug. She just had a tumor removed from her brain and he doesn't want to hurt her.
It's hard 'not' to hear, and it's even harder to hold back the tears. A doctor is trying to help the mother next to me understand why her newborn baby's brain didn't develop like it should, and so her daughter will need a lot of special assistance when she's growing up. Then a nurse wheels the baby's crib out of the room, they need to do more tests. And the mother is left alone. I hear her crying.
Across the room from my grandson a mother is trying to sleep in the reclining chair next to her baby's crib. She brought her baby here from Michigan, because the doctors at the hospital where she lives kept telling her nothing was wrong. But she knew something wasn't right. And now she's been told that her new baby boy can't hear or see, and won't be able to do much of anything except "be." But simply "being" is plenty for this mother to love. She's hoping to be able to take her son home in a few days, so his brothers and sisters can get to know him.
My grandson is finally asleep and I lay him back in his crib. I'm tired. The days and nights are long in the hospital. But tonight I'm at ease. The doctor says in a couple more days we'll be taking home a healthy boy. I felt a little guilty hearing such good news.
I've always thought my job, my purpose here on earth, certainly must be something more dramatic than simply loving and taking care of the people around me. So I've strived to be clever, artistic, and talented in business. But as I sit here at four in the morning, looking around the room and looking at my grandson, I realize I've been looking at life all wrong. It's not complicated, there's nothing to prove. My mother was right. It's really very simple.
What's really important is love.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
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