Subscribe to one of Suzanne's online bookclubs and receive her daily
column at: DearReader.com
AUTHORBUZZ: Discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win: Goto: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader
Dear Reader,
Father's Day is supposed to be a warm and fuzzy holiday. A chance for kids to think about what their dad means to them, and how he's made a difference in their lives. If you have a wonderful relationship with your father, it's an easy holiday. But if you don't, it's a day of grieving for a relationship that you always wished for.
My father and I had a tumultuous relationship at best. Yet I am blessed, because in the end, he gave me a gift I can remember every year on Father's Day.
Endings are important to me. Actually more important than beginnings. No doubt about it, the first day of school, when you 'first' knew it was true love, or the day your son or daughter was born are unforgettable moments. They're imprinted on your mind and in your heart forever. But six years ago it was an ending in my life that made all the difference.
Most of our relationship was spent in a silent battle. In fact, my father hadn't spoken to me for over five years, so when I got the call--"your father's dying," I had to decide; should I go or not?
It would feel like a lie to show up after such a long separation. But if I didn't go and regretted it afterwards--this was the end. I didn't get any second chances.
My father wasn't conscious when I arrived at the hospital. We were alone in his room and I pulled a chair over by the side of his bed and bent down, so I could be close to him. He looked so much older than I'd remembered, but I guess I'd always looked at him through the eyes of a little girl. This was my dad--the person I wanted so desperately to have a relationship with, but now here we were, and it was too late.
I started softly singing "The Old Rugged Cross," because I knew it was dad's favorite hymn. I had no idea if he could hear me, but in the middle of the second verse he woke up, looked at me, and smiled. Then he raised his hand, brushed it against my cheek and with tears in his eyes he said, "I never thought it would come to this. I'm so sorry for everything."
I'd pictured an ending similar to this many times before--my dad wanting to make amends at the last minute--and I was prepared. 'No way, forget it, it's too late,' was what I'd rehearsed, but instead, I took his hand and told him that we both did the best we could, and that I loved him.
My father died the following night.
Beginnings, they usually come about on their own and don't need much assistance, but endings--how it all wraps up--it's a choice, and in the end my dad and I came through mighty fine.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
AUTHORBUZZ: THE MIDDLESTEINS (Fiction) by Jami Attenberg
For more than 30 years, Edie and Richard Middlestein shared a solid family life together in the suburbs of Chicago. But things are splintering apart, for one reason, it seems: Edie's fixated on food. Do Edie's devastating choices rest on her shoulders alone, or are others at fault, too?
Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader click on THE MIDDLESTEINS to read more and to email author Jami Attenberg, you'll get a reply.
KIDSBUZZ: Meet new authors--send an email, ask a question and they will reply. Plus enter to win a free copy of THE MUSEUM by Susan Verde, illustrated by Peter Reynolds; PARIS-CHIEN: Adventures of an Ex-Pat Dog, written and illustrated by Jackie Mancuso; and KEEPER OF REIGN, BOOK I by Emma Right. Win free copies, say hello to the authors, and more, see http://www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz
Comments