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Muffins and Mayhem, Recipes for a Happy (if disorderly) Life
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Dear Reader,
Today, Elisabeth Lee, one of the three runner-up winners in this year's Write a Dear Reader contest, is filling in for me. Just like her whimsical column, Elisabeth was both delightfully amusing and interesting, when I called to find out more about her. Back and forth, our conversation was entertaining and enlightening--at least for me, because Elisabeth enjoys Bollywood dancing and has written a book about Pre-Raphaelites, and I'd never heard of either one.
A native of New York ("My parents moved when I was 11 years old, so I had to pack up and move, too."), Elisabeth loves to travel and will be going back to Peru soon. She speaks Swedish, rents a plot in a community garden, growing vegetable and flowers, and she's been reading at the book clubs since 2001, but this is the first time she entered the writing contest, and I'm so glad she did.
Enjoy her column!
--Suzanne Beecher
Neighbors
Neighbors are one of those unknown variables in life. They are unpredictable like the weather and as incomprehensible as the universe. Some are quiet and unremarkable, some loud and obnoxious, and then there are the standout, unforgettable ones. I've lived in my building long enough to have experienced them all.
At 9:30 p.m. the man downstairs goes out to the carport to put his hand on his car. When he returns he will open and close his front door four times before he is satisfied and can retire for the evening. The couple next door has taken their dog for his nightly walk. When they return, their dog will lunge at the door to the apartment across the landing--wherein lives another dog--and scratch, and claw, and bark until the hapless door mat goes flying down the stairwell.
At 3 a.m., Aquaman, in the apartment directly underneath me, will turn on the water in his tub for fifteen minutes or so. I dared to ask him one day why he did this. His reply was because of the bacteria. I refrained from asking anymore questions, but having found an opening with me, he will occasionally follow me to the laundry room and tell me his life story. He is not expecting a reply, as he says he was told to talk more to people, but strangely not to converse with them. His narratives vary: some are amusing, some are sad, and some are just incredible. I nod and smile until he is finished and contented and goes away.
Monitor Man watches the comings and goings of everyone in the buildings. His sharp eye caught a married woman having an affair and a burglar stealing a flat-screen television. The Brady Bunch tried to squeeze four people, two dogs, and a cat into a one room apartment. Piano Girl played the piano and sang off-key operettas to the consternation of her immediate neighbors until she unintentionally set fire to her kitchen. The Frat Boy has parties in his little studio till the wee hours. I've caught glimpses of Monitor Man rushing across the lawn to join in the fun.
I chuckle, sigh, and ponder the state of humanity, but it is apparent that living so close together has put all of our private idiosyncrasies on show. I am suddenly struck by the fact that I don't know what my neighbors are saying about me. Have they nicknamed me Recycle Woman, as I habitually sort errant items from the bins, or the Lady Who Always Checks the Tire Pressure on Her Car? It's a disconcerting thought, and humbling. Luckily, none of my neighbors have been abusive, frightening, or threatening (except, perhaps, the married woman, who had a few choice words for Monitor Man). We're all just oddly different.
It's 9:30 p.m. again and I hear a tread on the stairs heading for the carport. The couple is returning with their dog. As I listen to the scratching and barking I know the man in the carport has put his hand gently on the trunk of the car and is heading back. I think tonight I'll hurry and move the doormat from the stairs so he doesn't have to.
AUTHORBUZZ: Email this week's authors for a chance to win free books, meet a Gypsy author and enter to win one of five free 'love' tarot card readings over e-mail! Click on the link below.
EVERYONE BUT YOU by Sandra Novack
UNDER THE DOG STAR by Sandra Parshall
THE RONIN'S MISTRESS by Laura Joh Rowland
DEADLY PURSUIT, GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE by Irene Hannon
LOVE AT ABSOLUTE ZERO by Christopher Meeks
Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader
* This month's Penguin Classics book is THE REAL STORY OF AH-Q AND OTHER TALES OF CHINA by Lu Xun. Start reading now and enter to win a Penguin totebag. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/September11Classics
AUTHORBUZZ: DEADLY PURSUIT, GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE by Irene Hannon
When a stalker with deadly intent puts Children's Service Worker Alison Taylor in his sights, her police-detective brother and his ex-Navy-SEAL partner make her safety their top priority.
Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader Click on DEADLY PURSUIT, GUARDIANS OF JUSTICE to read more. Author Irene Hannon would love to hear from you.
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