Dear Reader Column 09-12-11

Subscribe to one of Suzanne's online bookclubs and receive her daily
column at: DearReader.com



Sample Suzanne's book at:
Muffins and Mayhem, Recipes for a Happy (if disorderly) Life

AUTHORBUZZ: Discover new books, "meet" the authors and enter to win: Goto: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader,

My husband and I are vacationing in the Smoky Mountains. So for the next two weeks Guest Columnists will be filling in for me; authors and the winners of this year's Write a Dear Reader Contest. Take advantage of the opportunity to get to know an author. Send them an email just to say hello, or feel free to ask questions. Every guest author is waiting to hear from you, and they'll reply.

Today's Guest Columnist is author Deborah Raney whose first novel A Vow to Cherish, inspired the World Wide Pictures film of the same title. Her 20-plus novels have since won numerous awards, including the RITA, HOLT Medallion, National Readers' Choice Award, and have twice been Christy Award finalists. Forever After, second in her new Hanover Falls Novels series, just released from Howard/Simon & Schuster.

Thanks for filling in for me, Deborah, take it away...

Our oldest daughter, Tobi, was our strong-willed child. We recognized her independent spirit almost from the day she was born. While we were living through the challenges of raising a spirited little girl like Tobi, it wasn't always easy to find the humor in her stubborn will. Hindsight has allowed us to see those struggles in a different light.

One afternoon, when Tobi was at the height of her fiery preadolescent years, she became furious with me. Of course, neither of us can even remember why now, but she pitched a royal fit, slamming doors and slapping books on the kitchen table.

I did my best to keep my cool, but I could feel my blood pressure rising and knew I was in danger of losing my own temper. Through clenched teeth, I tried to reason with her, but words did little to calm her, and finally I took her by the shoulders and "escorted" her to her room.

As I turned to leave, an idea struck. I reached for the pillow on Tobi's bed. "You know, honey, I understand your need to get your frustrations out..." I handed her the pillow. "Here. If you must punch something, punch your pillow."

All was quiet for twenty minutes. I was just about to congratulate myself on my brilliant handling of the situation, when I heard the muffled sound of fist meeting pillow again and again.

Nevertheless, Tobi emerged from her room shortly, calm and cheerful. I smiled smugly to myself and forgot the incident. Until laundry day. I stripped off Tobi's pillowcase and found myself face-to-face with a larger-than-life portrait rendered directly on the pillow in colorful marking pens.

Now, Tobi inherited some of her father's remarkable artistic ability, and this portrait was quite skillfully done. In fact, the face on the pillow looked familiar.

And then it struck me: It was my own face staring back at me from that pillow!

As I pictured my daughter methodically drawing my likeness on her pillow and then beating the stuffings out of "me," I laughed so hard I could barely finish the laundry. I couldn't help but be impressed with her creativity--and with the willpower it must have taken not to show me her handiwork the moment it was completed.

I have no doubt Tobi's portrait punching bag was well-used for the remainder of her years at home. (The only punishment we ever doled out for defacing the pillow came a few months later when new pillows were purchased at a discount store white sale. I bought only five pillows for our six-member family.)

When Tobi went away to college a few years later, her "punching pillow" went with her. But I'd be willing to bet, from the sweetness and love we heard in her voice across four-hundred miles, that her "mean mom" pillow got hugged more than hammered throughout those college years.

We've recounted this story many times since, and Tobi always laughs loudest--especially now that she's a mommy with a strong-willed child of her own. He's an artistic little guy, and it would tickle this grandma to pieces if one of these days while Tobi is doing laundry, she discovers her own likeness painted on a "punching pillow."

--Deborah Raney

* Deb loves to hear from readers and she answers all of her mail, and she's giving away the first two books in her Hanover Falls Novels series. Say hello, send your email to: [email protected].

Deb and her husband, Ken Raney, enjoy small-town life in Kansas. They are happy empty nesters with four children and four grandchildren, all of whom live much too far away. More about Deb at http://www.deborahraney.com/.

AUTHORBUZZ: EVERYONE BUT YOU by Sandra Novack

In my new collection of stories, EVERYONE BUT YOU I explore the dramatic relationships among wives, children, husbands, and friends, all struggling to connect to one another.

Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader Click on EVERYONE BUT YOU to read more. Author Sandra Novack would love to hear from you.

Comments

[WendyB]

Oh, Deb - that gives me hope. My strong-willed one didn't blossom with the fit-pitching till high school, and at 22 and teaching second grade, she has turned sweet as pie to everyone EXCEPT her mom! Perhaps when she has her own little pillow-puncher....!

[Susan Hollaway]

I loved this story. Hilarious! Isn't it funny how certain "incidents" in our lives turn into to be some of the most cherished memories?

I've got a good one on my daughter when she decided to give me a little sass for the first time at a very young age. But it's a bit too long for a comment.
Maybe I'll blog about it one of these days....

Thanks for sharing your special memory with everyone.

~Susie

[Deborah Raney]

So true, Wendy...when she has her own little pillow-puncher she'll think you hung the moon!

Thanks for the encouraging words! And Susan, glad I could inspire a blog. : )

I've entered you both in the drawing for my books, which will take place later this week.

Have a great week!
Deb~

[Linda]

I think I'd have been absolutely shocked to see my own picture on that pillow! Not shocked in knowing, but shocked in the amount of anger. Kids--they never fail to test us!

[Jo]

Oh Deb, I just loved your sharing of your strong willed daughter. We have one as well who is also a adult with children of her own. I remember when she would complain to me about her daughter and I would turn around and say "like mother, like daughter". I would love to win your book.