Now on sale . . . Muffins & Mayhem: Recipes for a Happy (if Disorderly) Life by Suzanne Beecher, and when you purchase it, request a free autographed bookplate, by visiting:
http://tinyurl.com/Muffins-MayhemPO
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Dear Reader,
The nice thing about getting older is that because I've been paying attention, I understand my body and how it reacts when something traumatic happens in my life. Over the years I've spent a lot of time replaying situations in my mind, trying my best to understand the hows and whys. How could I have prevented this thing? What could I have done differently? Sometimes, nothing. Sometimes life just happens and the "because" is forever a mystery.
But one thing I have learned is that when I'm in the midst of a crisis, I can keep my wits about me pretty darn good. I don't fall apart. I may not be quite as sturdy as I used to be, but since I've always been way above average in a crisis, no one notices except me. But after the crisis, when everyone else is feeling better and returning to the things they used to do in their lives, I'm just beginning to pick up the pieces of Suzanne.
The damage from the house fire my family experienced has been repaired. They're settled back into their home and welcoming a familiar daily routine, and it fills my heart with joy. My goal was to get them back home as quickly as possible and that when they returned, even though the surroundings might be different, they would feel the love my husband and I put into fixing up their home.
The crisis is over and from past experience, I realize that now it's time for me to let down. To put myself first, to be kind to myself. To let myself fall apart in my own way. If after my work is done I want to lie in bed and watch Frazier reruns, or eat dinner in bed, or pretty much spend all of my free time in bed, or sit on the lanai in my pajamas, I've earned it.
It's funny, how most of the time, in order to carve out "whatever" time for myself, I feel the need to qualify that I've earned the right to give myself whatever I need--especially if it makes me appear lazy to other people. This kind of crazy thinking, I recognize it, because I've been paying attention. I've been here before. This kind of thinking is part of the recovery after a crisis in my life.
In the midst of the fire I was strong. Now after-the-fire, it may take me longer to recover than it used to, but maybe that's a good thing. Sit with what happened, think about it, feel how it's changed my life, learn from it, grieve. There's something to be learned from every experience good and bad, and if I miss the opportunity to sit a spell with the experience, it will all have been in vain.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
www.MuffinsandMayhem.com
* This month's Penguin Classics book is The Penguin Book of Gaslight Crime edited by Michael Sims. Start reading now and enter to win a Penguin totebag. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/November10Classics
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