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Dear Reader,
Fear is familiar to me. It shows up in different ways and it's not always easy to identify. I just know that something doesn't feel right. It's more difficult to do my job, and more of a struggle to live my life. Fear is always present when I'm implementing a new idea, but the gravity of the situation doesn't really hit me until I'm much further down the path. 'Oh my, this little idea I had is working; it's successful.' And that's when fear burrows deep in my gut, affecting decisions that yesterday I was so sure about, but now I question.
Maybe fear is less confrontational in the beginning of an idea because at that point it's just a dream, and I really don't have much to lose. I could simply tell people, "Well, I had this idea; I pursued it, but nothing really came of it." No big deal.
People applaud you for the fact that you had an idea in the first place, and that you had the courage to pursue it. So even though you failed, you're a hero for trying.
But once the idea is up and running and successful, then I'm on less forgiving ground. There comes a day when I realize that now this thing is too big. Now if something goes wrong, I'm beyond telling people "Oh, well it was just an idea." Now I would have to refer to my demise as a failure.
Yes, fear is familiar to me and so is this conversation. Every time I pursue a new idea, I have this little talk with myself, but thank heavens I don't listen and I give it a try anyway.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
http://www.DearReader.com
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