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Dear Reader,
I'm back, well at least for a brief appearance today. My plan was to return full time to writing this week. My mind loved the idea--jumped on board right away--but the rest of my body parts seem to have a mind of their own. I was recovering nicely from my hysterectomy surgery but then two days ago an infection showed up. So this girl will be out for one more week. The surgery and recovery bit hasn't been one of the most pleasant experiences I've ever had, but your cards, emails, flowers, calls and the big box of homemade chocolate-chocolate chip cookies that showed up in my mailbox a couple of days ago have surrounded me with warm, caring feelings that only friends can deliver. Thank you very much. Your thoughtfulness has been so kind.
As with any experience there are stories to tell and some of the notes I've been jotting down are pretty funny. I'll be back next Monday. In the meantime, sign up for my bubble machine giveaway today, check out AuthorBuzz (the link is right after today's column) and continue to enjoy the voice of my friends, authors Blaize Clement and M.J. Rose. Bye, bye--see you next Monday, have a wonderful week.--Suzanne Beecher
*To enter Suzanne's Bubble Machine Giveaway, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/bubble051309.html
Suzanne will return next Monday, today's column is written by Blaize Clement.
You could plunk me down in the middle of a meeting of Queen Elizabeth, Oprah, and Michelle Obama, and I wouldn't be the least bit intimidated. I'd yak my head off and have a fine time. But put me in a hairdresser's chair, and I'm struck dumb with fear. I know from sad experience that a bad cut can turn my fine, wavy hair into a hopelessly frizzy mop. I'm not only scared of hairdressers, I don't speak their language. I've been trying all my adult life to learn it, but every time I've sort of caught on to hair patois, it changes. While I wasn't paying attention, "frosting" turned into "streaking" and then it became "highlights." And then there's "product," which seems to have become a code word for all the gels and sprays on the market.
I hear other women discussing their hair preference with their stylist, and they sound like they know what they're talking about. The only instruction I can manage is, "Don't cut it shorter than my earlobes." Even while I'm saying that, I know I haven't told them what I want, because the word "cut" has different meanings. If they reach for a razor, I know to stop them because a razor cut makes my hair look like I've stuck my finger in a light socket, but I'm hazy on the difference between a bob, a shag, a tapered cut, and a layered cut. And then there's a "stacked" cut, which as far as I can make out is very short and tapered in the back and long and not tapered in the front. But maybe not. It's all very mysterious and dangerous, because I may ask for a particular style and use a word that I think means one thing, but really means something different, and end up with Lyle Lovett's worst hair day.
Today I told my hairdresser that I wanted the back of my hair jagged at the neck instead of straight and even. I made diagrams in the air with my finger when I said "jagged" because it was the only word I could think of that meant something sort of saw-toothed and spiky. He nodded and said, "I'll chip the ends." When he saw that I didn't know what "chipping the ends" meant, he said, "You know, I'll point-cut it." I didn't know what point-cut meant either. Turns out it meant little bitty points cut out of the ends, not the big points I'd had in mind. But it will grow and I'll eventually learn the word that means great big wide points, and the minute I do, they'll invent a new word for that look. Somebody really should write a hair dictionary!
Blaize Clement
* Blaize is the author of the Dixie Hemingway mystery series. The latest book, Cat Sitter On A Hot Tin Roof, was a December mystery book club feature. You can email her at: Blaize@BlaizeClement.com
AUTHORBUZZ: With so many new books out every week, we promise these are five that deserve your attention: John Hart, The Last Child; Melanie M. Jeschke, Jillian Dare; Sherry Thomas, Not Quite a Husband; Charlotte Greig, A Girl's Guide to Modern European Philosophy; and Joe Lamacchia, Blue Collar & Proud of It. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader
* This month's Penguin Classics book is The House Behind The Cedars by Charles W. Chesnutt. To comment on the book and enter the Penguin Classics Drawing, go to: http://tinyurl.com/MayClassics
WOW! this was fantastic my friend just introduced me to your site so far I love it I particularly loved this becuase for 15 years I worked at HAir SALON not as a hairdresser but as a receptionist now they are called " SALON COORDINATORS" Hairdressers are certainly a breed of their own and as of this day you would think wiht 15 years experience in a salon I would know what to say I am still imtimadated I would not be with OPRAH! AYHOW great read
Your new fan
FRENCH RONNIE
Posted by: Ronnie | May 20, 2009 at 04:18 PM