Dear Reader Column 01-29-08

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Dear Reader,

I filled out a New Patient form in a doctor's office the other day and one of the Tell-Me-About-Yourself questions was, "What's the biggest cause of stress in your life?"

My answer: Me.

It was an instantaneous response. At first I was kind of amused, 'That was a good one Suzanne, pretty funny.' But then when I started to cross out "Me" and tried to think of a "real" answer, I realized that I had it right the first time--and that was a little scary.

I didn't want to seem like a nut when the doctor reviewed the form, so I considered some other multiple choice answers.

A.) Work.

Okay, work is stressful sometimes--and why? Well, let's see, there are deadlines, but then again, maybe "Me" has just-a-little bit to do with the stress in my work. I'm my own boss, I set most of my own deadlines, so exactly who is stressing me?

B.) My husband.

Yeah, there must be something that he does to cause stress in my life. Let's see, he gives me a foot rub every night, encourages me in any new thing I want to try, and is constantly telling me to lighten up on myself. That doesn't sound stressful to me.

So what's up? Why does this stress keep following me around all the time? Wherever I go it seems to be there.

Hmm. Maybe that's a clue.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S: Author Eileen McDargh reads at the book club every day with us and she has 10 copies of her latest book, Gifts from the Mountain, Simple Truths for Life's Complexities to give away to readers. Simply send an email to: enter-to-win2@emailbookclub.com and you're entered in the drawing.

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Comments

[Ann Avid Reader]

It is very interesting what you say about self imposed stress. Despite the fact that I think the average person in America is very hard on themselves, I also think it is society that creates these harried individuals. Have you noticed that when people ask how you are or what you are doing it is acceptable and expected for the reply to be "I'm so busy." There is no valid excuse to bow out of an invitation other than you are "so busy". It's never ok to say you just don't feel like it. I have a 98 year old grandmother who literally sits and watches her plants grow all day; but when asked how she is, she always replies that she is so busy. My girlfriend had relatives visit from rural South America. She was all excited to show them her new pool and recently decorated den which includes a humongous television. After they had left I asked her how the visit went. She surprised me by saying the relatives thought we Americans are totally crazy. We spend our entire day commuting and working so that we can come home exhausted with enough energy to eat dinner before falling into bed at night, then getting up and doing it all over again day after day. They all quit work at three in the afternoon. Then the neighbors gather in their yards and chat and drink coffee. They all go inside, literally when the cows come home from grazing all day. They may not have fancy cars and electronics, but they don't have ulcers or strokes either. They know the names of all their neighbors and don't need day care providers.
I think we need to give ourselves permission to not be so busy, to listen for and nurture our creative sides and to find contentment in not necessarily the simple things, but the things that call out to our souls. Art does that for me like sailing does for my husband. Lose the guilt and sacrifice a new gaming system for quality time with your friends, family or how about just yourself. Knowing that you have that to look forward to makes all the other stressful stuff, seem not so bad.

[Alice]

You're a woman driven; Suzanne, and that's a good thing. How else will things get done? Busy is a four letter word, not a bad habit. All your readers thrive from your words, your recipes, your suggestions and mostly, your entire website. A companion for us in words and thoughts. You're a perfectionist which equates with busy. We wouldn't love you half as much if you were a snail and never got back to your readers. Thank you for who you are, busy being companion and friend. to your readers and listeners.