Dear Reader Column 08-22-07

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Dear Reader,

I think it's a conspiracy, but when I told my daughter about it the other day, she insisted I was way over-thinking things. In fact she hinted some concern about my mental stability. But I don't think it's just a coincidence that when my two-year cell phone contract ended, and I turned down the phone company's offer to extend it, that now my cell phone doesn't work right any more.

Coincidence--I think not! It's a conspiracy. Because the exact same thing happened the last time I refused to renew my contract.

"Why renew when I can simply go month-to-month?" I told the man at the cell phone company. "The service isn't going to cost me any less if I renew and sign on the dotted line." And that's when the salesman threw in a free phone, extra minutes, a tutor to explain how to use all those buttons on my phone that I haven't known how to use for the last two years, a lesson in text-messaging (my daughter would be thrilled) and he even offered to send someone over to give me a foot rub to sweeten the deal. Believe me, it was tempting, but nevertheless I still said no.

And thirty minutes later my phone started acting up. Coincidence or conspiracy?

No question in my mind, my cell number has been put on "the list." The bring-her-to-her-knees list, so they mess with her service. Dead air in the middle of my conversations, 'Service Unavailable' flashing on my screen, and somehow they even loosened a screw inside of my phone, so now whenever I'm talking I have to keep my hand real still, or the rattling screw noise competes with my conversation. They know exactly what they're doing, 'Give that Beecher woman crummy service, force her to come in and buy a new phone, and then we'll get her--she'll have to renew her contract.'

Coincidence or conspiracy? It's not a question any longer, I finally have proof. So the next time my daughter calls I'm giving her an update on her mother's "imaginary" phone problems. Line-by-line, I'll read her my list of the strange things that have suddenly gone wrong with my phone, and my sanity will be vindicated. That'll show her!

On second thought, in reviewing my list, maybe I'd better leave out the part about how the phone company somehow got inside of my phone and loosened that screw, because my daughter might think it's not the phone that has a...

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
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http://www.DearReader.com

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Comments

[Sharon]

If your conspiracy theory were all that far-fetched, I wouldn't be hearing the same complaint from my friends and my kids whose phones don't quite make it to the contract's end. We laugh about these things until we find out they're widespread.

And our kids? Well, they always think we're nuts.

[Fannie]

One of the reasons I enjoy your book club--besides getting the daily reads from the book selections--is that I start each morning with a friend. No matter how I'm feeling at the moment or how many projects or appointments I have in my day, you remind me that a good life is defined by one's perspective. I have a loving family, generous and lighthearted friends, and a life filled with newness, surprises, laughter and love. I have a "rich" life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. It's so good to share with friends.