Dear Reader Column 08-20-07

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Dear Reader,

When I was a kid every summer I'd go to the big Shappel family reunion in Dubuque, Iowa, with my Grandma and Grandpa Hale. (Shappel was Grandma's side of the family.) Everyone would bring a dish to pass and any ill-will that family members had amongst themselves, they certainly never let it be known at the reunion, because everyone had a grand time, including me.

It was the only time when I didn't feel like an only child. Cousins, shirt-tale cousins, first cousins twice removed--all the way down the family tree, relatives would smile and give me a hug because I was one of the family. The food was great and I always left feeling a little less alone in the world.

Family reunions--it's one of those traditions that I think has probably disappeared, but I miss it. Everyone on my side of the family, grandparents, mom and dad, they're are all gone now, so I sent out emails to my husband's brothers, hoping to get them together at our house for Christmas this year--for a family reunion. The last time we were all together was over 15 years ago. My husband's dad is 87, so I've been playing the age card, tugging at heart strings, throwing in a little friendly guilt, writing anything I can think of to get us all together, because I know it would be a wonderful time. Something we'd always remember.

I've already gotten one firm commitment and a tentative yes from another brother--two down, one to go. If you've thought about trying to get your family together, for a reunion, I'd be happy to share some of my "persuasion lines" with you. Feel free to use them if you think they might help.

"Dear John,

There's a little thing I do sometimes when I'm trying to make a decision about something, to help me weigh the pros and cons. I draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper, write 'Pros' on one side, 'Cons' on the other, and then I list the positives and negatives about the idea.

Well, here's my idea: I think you should come and spend Christmas with us this year for a good old-fashioned family reunion. I've already taken the liberty of drawing a line down the middle of a piece of paper, and for the life of me, I couldn't come up with any negative reasons why you wouldn't want to come.

Here's the positive side of the list:

1. Baby Paul is here now and you could meet him. He's pretty cute.

2. Family is important, even though we can drive each other nuts at times; we're pretty cute, too.

3. There are several places for you to stay--private places. Places where you could get away from family and regroup, if you needed to.

4. I know your favorite food is lasagna and I would gladly make it for you two or three times when you visit.

5. Bob and I sure love it whenever we get to see you, but we don't get to see you often enough. We miss your company and your smile.

6. Your dad was thrilled when I told him I was emailing you an invitation.

So that's a pretty good list, huh? Will you come to the family reunion at Christmas? We sincerely would love for you to come and visit."

The email must be a winner because my father-in-law called the other day (He sounded so cute) when he said that after he read one of my "family reunion" emails, he wished he didn't live in the same city as my husband and me, so he could have gotten one, too.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
http://www.DearReader.com

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Comments

[Carolyn teasley]

Family reunions have definite;y gone the way of ice cream socials, wiener roasts and family picnics. Our family just had the first family reunion in thirty years. At every funeral someone would always comment too bad the only time we see each other any more is at a family funeral. We now only had one member of the older generation left, my mom.
So a few of us decided it was now or never. We started off w/flyers handed out with my cousin's permission at his mother's funeral in January. We dedicated the family reunion to my passing aunt and my mom and reminded everyone we were becoming the "new" older generation. From there we preceeded to bombard other family members w/emails, phone calls w/updates in the planning, and letters. Through the hard work and dedication of my two cousins and myself, we held our first family reunion in thirty years.
We chose Herman Park because of all the memories we had going there as kids. My cousin Henry let me in on a tidbit of info about my Granny Wiggs. The reason she got us more rides than our parent was the Kiawanis train driver was her "boyfriend." The final reminder we sent everyone, a flyer w/all we plan to do: trainrides on the Kiawanis train, white elephant bingo, pig picking. One niece donated the services of a kareoke DJ.
Needless to say, everyone had a great time because for one reason we picked late April before the summer heat got here. We all took a vote and now agree to have a family reunion every year around the same time!

[Nancy M.]

Mother is one of ten siblings (8 of 10 still alive, all in late 70's to late 80's) Family reunions every five years, in Omaha, NE where their lives began. First reunion in 1986 - average attendance: 250+. Chaotic, wild, crazy fun - you could join us...no one would know.

Father is one of 7 boys (only 2 of 7 still alive, one age 82 and one 80 yrs) - Just returned last week from one I personally organized - won't make that mistake twice!! Reunions every 4 years, 4 days & 3 nights in different parts of the country. Average attendance: 70+. Just outside of Zion this year - an awesome time!! Yeah, I'd do it again - but never, ever tell anyone!

Best part: Learning every family has their "stuff" to deal with

Worst part: Learning what every family's "stuff" actually is....

Try it, you'll like it.

P.S. Can I pass on some or your "wrangling/roping them in" tips to our next "organizer?" You might get a free ticket or one of my old books??

[Nancy M.]

Mother is one of ten siblings (8 of 10 still alive, all in late 70's to late 80's) Family reunions every five years, in Omaha, NE where their lives began. First reunion in 1986 - average attendance: 250+. Chaotic, wild, crazy fun - you could join us...no one would know.

Father is one of 7 boys (only 2 of 7 still alive, one age 82 and one 80 yrs) - Just returned last week from one I personally organized - won't make that mistake twice!! Reunions every 4 years, 4 days & 3 nights in different parts of the country. Average attendance: 70+. Just outside of Zion this year - an awesome time!! Yeah, I'd do it again - but never, ever tell anyone!

Best part: Learning every family has their "stuff" to deal with

Worst part: Learning what every family's "stuff" actually is....

Try it, you'll like it.

P.S. Can I pass on some or your "wrangling/roping them in" tips to our next "organizer?" You might get a free ticket or one of my old books??