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Dear Reader,
I was an only child, so when I was growing up it was never an option for me to blame someone else. Whenever my mother would yell, "Who tipped over the shampoo bottle? Who forgot to put the mayonnaise back in the refrigerator? And who was jumping off of the kitchen wall and put her foot right through it?" The 'who' was always me and it was always me 'who' got in big trouble. (Except when I put my foot through the kitchen wall. My mother yelled for effect, but only scolded me with a "wink-wink" because she'd been after my dad to add-on to the kitchen anyway, and so he finally did.)
Nope, since I was the only 'who' in the house, I couldn't ever blame anyone else for anything. But I'm sure making up for it now. It's become my secret bad habit--blaming other people. Whenever I can't find something, well obviously it's because some other nincompoop forgot to put it away. How dare they? It's a 'secret' bad habit, because I never actually pronounce sentence on the guilty nincompoop face-to-face, I just think about it--a lot and sometimes for a long time.
Three years ago I went on a business trip and when I returned and was unpacking my suitcase, I couldn't find my watch. I've never loved a watch more. It was a gorgeous watch--a square silver face with a big wide orange band. Usually big watches look ridiculous on my arm, because my wrist is so small, but this watch looked stunning. I knew for sure I'd taken it on my trip, because I remembered wearing it to dinner, but the watch didn't come home with me.
What happened to it? Obviously the housekeeper, at the hotel, must have stolen it.
No doubt about it. I was sure that's what happened, and it's the story I stuck with until yesterday...when I unzipped a "hidden" pocket in my suitcase, (a pocket that I couldn't ever remember using and didn't even know existed) but there it was--my missing watch.
I was thrilled to be reunited after three long years, couldn't believe my good fortune, but then instantly I felt like a louse. Because for the past three years, whenever I thought about my orange watch, I was also thinking nasty thoughts about the faceless, nameless, no-good housekeeper who'd stolen it.
It's weird. I wish I could blame it on human nature, or on my parents, because they didn't have any more children, and I was blamed so many times as a child, that now I have a "who-dun-it?-you-did-it" disorder. So I need to transfer those feelings to someone else--and blaming other people is part of my therapy, but unfortunately--I'm still the one and only 'who'--who did it.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com
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Like you, I was the only 'who' in the house, but to this day, my first reaction is to accept the blame for everything---even if it isn't my fault! (A bad thing.)
My nudge-wink kitchen misdemeanor was swinging on the old fridge door until it fell off and Mom got the new one she'd been nagging for. It worked so well, she invited me down to the basement to "help" her do laundry with the old wringer washer.
Aren't kids a blessing!? :)
Posted by: Sharon | July 24, 2007 at 12:17 PM