Dear Reader Column 07-18-07

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Dear Reader,

Dark suit, white shirt, dark tie, and a book and pamphlets tucked underneath his arm. I knew right away who he was, and what he wanted the minute I spotted the "tools" of his trade. So after he delivered his opening line, I butted in and suggested we just cut right to the chase.

I explained that normally, he'd want to show me 'the way' and then I'd try to tell him that I was already taken care of in that department, but nevertheless, he'd still keep right on talking, because he doesn't like "my way" and eventually I'd politely shut the door in the middle of his sentence.

"So here's the thing," I told him, "my writing muse is on vacation and it's been kind of tough going today. You see, when I get to a certain point in a column, I usually call my writing muse and she listens to me talk. And since I'm without someone to listen to me today, and you're here, and you want to talk and hang around my front porch anyway, how about if you listen to me talk about my column and then it will be your turn to talk, and I'll listen. Have we got a deal?"

And before he could really realize what he'd agreed to, I pulled up a lawn chair and told him to sit down and put his feet up."Do you want a glass of lemonade? I think we might be here awhile. I can't quite decide on a lead."

Line by line, I delivered my column and he even laughed in the places I was hoping for at least a giggle. But when I got near the end and I was starting to stumble, because I still needed to do some rewriting, he was getting impatient. He looked down at his watch and when I heard him clear his throat, I was afraid that "persuader" man was going to try to slide-in one of his "this is the way" lines. So I just kept right on going at the end of my sentence, rolling right over the period, not even stopping to take a breath--then I slid right into the next sentence and when my substitute muse's attention started to wane even more--I reminded him that we had an agreement.

"Doesn't it say something in that 'persuasion' book you're totin' about keeping your side of a bargain?"

I give him credit, "persuader" man sat back down and he was a pretty good listener--didn't have too many creative suggestions, but then again that wasn't part of our deal. And soon it was his turn. But by then, the sweat was running down his face, (it was 98 degrees even in the shade) and in all fairness, he probably forgot his lines because I'd interrupted his usual presentation flow.

"Not to worry," I told him. "My muse takes two vacations a year, give me your card and the next time she leaves town, I'll call you."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
http://www.DearReader.com

READ THE CLASSICS: Fifth Business by Robertson Davies and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/3x9eam

Comments

[JC]

This reminds me of a persuader I encountered on a recent shopping trip . He asked for a minute of my time and proceeded to buff my fingernail to the textue of a finely polished stone. During his persuasion he wanted to know which scented lotion I liked best. When he lifted the bottle to my nose all I could smell was cigerette smoke. The lecture began, "You really should quit smoking," I said. "You need to live a long life." His eagerness to talk to me suddenly ended. "Have a good evening" he said, looking for another smoke. A few days later I needed to make a return to the same mall. There was my friend looking for someone to persuade. But it was ME ready to do some persuading of my own. "Remember me?" I said. "I sure do." said the man. "How are you doing with that smoking habit?" "not too good" "Well I'll make you a deal. You quit smoking I'll buy your product." I never saw someone so ready to give up a sale in my life.

[Nina Morzenti]

HMMM I was puzzled by the Column so I waited for a Comment to shed some light. Now I'm puzzled by both!! What am I missing? Nina