Dear Reader Column 07-17-07

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Dear Reader,

When my husband snores at night, all I have to do is tap him on the shoulder and tell him he needs to roll on his side--problem solved. When I'm in an airplane and the woman seated next to me has fallen asleep and her snoring is drowning out the engine noise, tell me, what's the proper etiquette?

And here's another etiquette dilemma I encountered on a recent flight. What do you do when the man seated next to you has a--how can I put this delicately?--a finger in the nose problem. I'm not talkin' an occasional touch-the-end-of-your-nose-sort-of-thing. This was serious business the entire two hour flight.

I didn't want to embarrass the woman who was snoring, so I tried to wake her up with my own set of noises, like clearing my throat and coughing. That didn't work. Neither did tapping her gently on the arm, so I decided a full frontal attack was called for. I'd head for the bathroom and on my way past her, I'd make sure that I practically fell in her lap. Yep, that worked. She woke up and didn't have a clue of what she'd been up to while she was sleeping.

Now my other seat mate proved to be a much more challenging task. He was dressed in a business suit and it was obvious he was traveling to an appointment, so I tried to strike up a conversation about business. But he wasn't a talker and would only answer with a yes or no. It was clear that he wanted to get back to the business at hand. (pun intended)

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
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http://www.DearReader.com

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Comments

[Nina Morzenti]

Where is everyone?! Perhaps our non-Fiction readers need to read a few "Gentle Reader" Columns from Miss Manners(Judith Martin) books. Certain that this Column would bring a slew of suggestions, I hesitated in an effort to avoid redundancy. Hopefully my comments will help before your next flight, Suzanne.
First, I'm flabbergasted that these two noses weren't deftly handled by the cabin crew. That's part of their job... at least it was when I was a PanAm Stew. We were the first line of defense against bothersome passengers. After all we had an 8-hr-Plus flight ahead of us. So don't be shy about cornering a cabin attendant in the galley and asking for help. They're trained to do this.
Second, people do things on an airplane that they wouldn't do on the ground. They feel nervous, anxious or excited and revert to subconscious, soothing behaviors. So, don't be shy about drawing it to their attention in a 'here-let-me-help' tone. Practice if it doesn't come naturally. We role-played in training till we rolled over laughing. Ten of my eighteen classmates were Japanese for the Vietnam R&R flights and they had it down pat.
Gently wake the snorer and say with a smile, "MMM,I'd like to be able to sleep like you do, here, try this"...and apply a Breathe-rite strip to her nose... and yours, that you just happen to have in your purse.
As for the Pick-of-the-Litter, empathetically say, "Boy doesn't it bug ya' when there's something in your eye, tooth...or nose and you can't dislodge it? Here take this Handi-wipe/Q-Tip to the Men's Room where the mirror will help you see what you're doing. It'll help." While he's gone, ask the Stew if there's an empty seat elsewhere you can use if he continues.
We must also be aware of "planned distractions" from those with more dangerous intentions. Best to stop minor disturbances before they allow a delayed response to a major one...so engage the cabin attendants. But don't let me scare you:) You paid for as much comfort as the next guy. So pack your Scripts, Strips and Tips and arrive relaxed.