Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 05-17-07

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Dear Reader,

April reads at the book club and last week she wrote to me about the emotional tug-of-war she feels watching her aging parents' health decline. I was particularly touched by the last two paragraphs of her email:

"I have struggled to cry. That doesn't sound like a problem I suppose, but it really makes it so much harder to cope as there is no release. Once in a while I've had a bit of a sob, but nothing very satisfying.

Your column [about remembering your mother] made me cry, and finally really acknowledged my sorrow at watching the end of my parents lives being lived in such a climate of suffering and pain. What a relief it is to have been able to have a good old sob! Thank you. I wonder if you had any idea that your column, about your Mom, would help so many people."

What a lovely thank you and April's right, it is a problem when you're not able to cry.

It used to be easy for me to cry. I didn't get carried away and start sobbing on street corners, but when I felt like crying, when I needed to cry--I did.

Crying felt as comfortable as any other emotion, I never analyzed my need to cry--no permission was asked for, or granted. And I didn't stop myself because I felt embarrassed--the tears came easily and when they subsided, I was ready to move on.

But now crying is always my last resort and I don't understand why.

Somewhere along the way, I lost the art and ease of crying. And now, like April, I'm struggling to find my way back.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Five terrific books that are all must reads and free copies for lucky readers, Timothy Schaffert, Devils in the Sugar Shop; Alyson Noël, Kiss & Blog; Ken Kalfus, A Disorder Peculiar to the Country; Jennifer O'Connell, Insider Dating; and Tim Willocks, The Religion. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

READ THE CLASSICS: My Antonia by Willa Cather and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/358deh

Dear Reader Column 05-16-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Sometimes people "should" tell a lie.

For instance my sixth grade teacher should have lied when she looked at my art project. I imagine in today's art world my colorful creation could have been categorized as Modern and Contemporary Art. But my teacher wanted a tree to look like a tree. She shook her head and suggested I try again next week. Personally, I thought the project was one of my most creative attempts and because I was a kid who thrived on praise, I never really "tried" after that. I always colored inside the lines--the tree trunk was always brown and the leaves were always green.

Sometimes I "wish" people would tell a lie.

Last month I bought a new dress, and on my way out of the store, I ran into my friend and her sister. 'Oh goodie' I was thinking, 'now I get to show off my new dress right away.'

"Look at what I just bought." By then, I'd taken the dress out of the bag and was "modeling" it, holding it up in front of me, sashaying back and forth, waiting to hear the oohs and ahs. "Isn't it great? And it only cost $85.00."

My friend knew exactly what I wanted to hear, her oohs and ahs were coming through loud and clear, "Oh, Suzanne, that dress looks fantastic on you and what a great bargain." But apparently her sister didn't understand how this kind of "I-just-bought-something-new" conversation works.

"Eighty-five dollars?" her sister butted in, "I bet you could have found that same dress at Wyman's for less, and in a better color."

Sometimes people are "forced" to tell a lie.

"Thank you for that shopping tip. I really appreciate it."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
(And "that" is not a lie.)

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

READ THE CLASSICS: My Antonia by Willa Cather and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/358deh

Dear Reader Column 05-15-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

For the past couple of weeks I've been reminded every day of how much I take my good health for granted, because I've been sick as a dog. You know, I have no idea where that phrase came from, or why it could even make any sense--I've never seen a dog as sick as I've been for the past two weeks.

My four month old grandson was in the hospital with a virus and everyone in the family took turns staying with him. I did some time during the day, but I think it was the Friday and Saturday night hospital sleepovers that brought me down.

Baby Paul, I'm happy to report, is recovered and back home. And I honestly do believe I'm on the mend, too, but this virus lingers on and on. The virus has an agenda of its own, and it messes with my mind, kind of like spring used to do when I lived in Wisconsin. The snow would melt, and even though the air was still crisp, the crocus, daffodils and tulips would peek up through the ground announcing spring was here. And every year I believed those purple, pink, and yellow flowers--they were my signal to move my wooly winter wardrobe out of my closet and replace it with shorts, sandals and halter tops. But sadly, two days later, the cheery spring flowers were buried underneath a foot of snow, and so was my hope of wearing shorts anytime soon.

There were always several false starts, but eventually spring did arrive, and that's what I need to focus on, even when I'm running for my cough syrup and box of lotioned tissues.

I always try to find something positive in everything that happens to me, but so far I haven't come up with anything upbeat about this virus. Maybe that "awe" moment will come to me when it's all over. Now, there's a thought.

Perhaps I'll be so thankful to have my good health back that I'll never, ever, again complain about the little things that don't go right in my day. Yes! Hallelujah! That's the reason I got this virus, so I'll be more patient and all the rest of the days of my life will be less irritating.

It won't bother me anymore that the paperboy keeps throwing my paper in the middle of my rose bush, and I won't moan and groan and think nasty thoughts the next time I'm on hold for 35 minutes, and when my washing machine overflows, like it did last month, and the kitchen floor is flooded, and the water's heading for the living room and my dinner guests will be knocking on my door in 15 minutes...nope, I'll just be rejoicing that I don't have this virus.

Who am I kidding? The doctor did say I could spike a high fever with this virus, where's the thermometer? Obviously I'm delirious.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

READ THE CLASSICS: My Antonia by Willa Cather and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/358deh

Dear Reader Column 05-14-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

This month's Classic is My Antonia by Willa Cather. If you haven't tried the Classics go ahead and give them a try this month. To sweeten the invitation, I'm offering a Starbucks gift card and your very own copy of this month's book. I have two "sweet deals" for readers.

Start reading My Antonia below, click over and finish the sample read, then send me an email and tell me what you think of it--I always share the feedback with the publisher. That's all you have to do to enter the drawing.

* * *
My Antonia by Willa Cather

Chapter One

I first heard of Antonia on what seemed to me an interminable journey across the great midland plain of North America. I was ten years old then; I had lost both my father and mother within a year, and my Virginia relatives were sending me out to my grandparents, who lived in Nebraska. I traveled in the care of a mountain boy, Jake Marpole, one of the "hands" on my father's old farm under the Blue Ridge, who was now going West to work for my grandfather. Jake's experience of the world was not much wider than mine. He had never been in a railway train until the morning when we set out together to try our fortunes in a new world.

We went all the way in day-coaches, becoming more sticky and grimy with each stage of the journey. Jake bought everything the newsboys offered him: candy, oranges, brass collar buttons, a watch-charm, and for me a Life of Jesse James, which I remember as one of the most satisfactory books I have ever read. Beyond Chicago we were under the protection of a friendly passenger conductor, who knew all about the country to which we were going and gave us a great deal of advice in exchange for our confidence. He seemed to us an experienced and worldly man who had been almost everywhere; in his conversation he threw out lightly the names of distant States and cities. He wore the rings and pins and badges of different fraternal orders to which he belonged. Even his cuff-buttons were engraved with hieroglyphics, and he was more inscribed than an Egyptian obelisk. Once when he sat down to chat, he told us that in the immigrant car ahead there was a family from across the water whose destination was the same as ours.

"They can't any of them speak English, except one little girl, and all she can say is 'We go Black Hawk, Nebraska.' She's not much older than you, twelve or thirteen, maybe, and she's as bright as a new dollar. Don't you want to go ahead and see her, Jimmy? She's got the pretty brown eyes, too!"

This last remark made me bashful, and I shook my head and settled down to Jesse James. Jake nodded at me approvingly and said you were likely to get diseases from foreigners.

I do not remember crossing the Missouri River, or anything about the long day's journey through Nebraska. Probably by that time I had crossed so many rivers that I was dull to them. The only thing very noticeable about Nebraska was that it was still, all day long, Nebraska.
* * *
To finish the sample read and enter the "Sweet Deal" give away, go to: http://tinyurl.com/358deh

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Five terrific books that are all must reads and free copies for lucky readers, Timothy Schaffert, Devils in the Sugar Shop; Alyson Noël, Kiss & Blog; Ken Kalfus, A Disorder Peculiar to the Country; Jennifer O'Connell, Insider Dating; and Tim Willocks, The Religion. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 05-11-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

This past Tuesday I wrote a column about my mother because it was two years ago when she passed away. I was wondering how long I would count the years, and would I ever stop counting?

Obviously it doesn't matter who you are, or what age you are, there are some things that bring us all together, speaking the same language, feeling the same emotions and losing a mother is one of them. Because hundreds and hundreds of readers replied sharing their memories of their mother.

I was touched by these Tributes to Moms and especially since Sunday is Mother's Day, I thought you might enjoy reading some of them, too.

Go to http://tinyurl.com/2l65qw and you'll also see a photo of my mother and me.

If you missed Tuesday's column go to: http://tinyurl.com/35glno

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 05-10-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Sometimes it's way too easy to hit the SEND key.

SEND is a four-letter word that's caused me a lot of worry, embarrassment, and on some nights, lack of sleep. It's just way too easy for me to rattle off a few words in an email, not read what I've written, and then hit SEND.

Especially after midnight--that's when I really need a retrieve button, or at least the offer of a "do-over." After midnight my SEND key should be barricaded with barbed wire and a flashing warning label, because almost every email I send out after midnight makes me look stupid in the morning.

WARNING: "Suzanne, do you really want to SEND this email? You haven't double-dosed on your cold medicine again, have you?"

Last week I really needed a do-over. I wrote one of those scathing, therapeutic letters, the kind of letter you write so you'll feel better but then you toss it out. But in the heat of the moment, I forgot to take out the SEND TO email address, my cat jumped on the keyboard, his paw hit the SEND key and I was horrified when the email disappeared from my screen.

Yes, sometimes it's way too easy to hit the SEND key.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Find out about new books you'll read and never forget from these terrific authors: Theresa Meyers, The Spellbound Bride; Toni McGee Causey, Bobbie Faye's Very (very, very, very) Bad Day; Susan Hubbard, The Society of S; Andrea Portes, Hick; and Judi McCoy, One Night With a Goddess. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 05-09-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Thanks for taking the time to send an email. Hearing from readers is the best part of my job.

From my Email Bag:

"Suzanne, at the end of your column each day you write, 'Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.' The thanks go to you. Thanks for writing to me, it's so good to hear from a friend. Oh how I do appreciate you, your columns are always on the mark. They make me think, smile and sometimes cry."--Your friend, Carol J.

"I look forward to reading your daily 'Dear Reader' column as much as I look forward to reading the books. You have inspired me to bring out the journal I received probably four or five years ago as a birthday present. It has sat idle since I wrote the first two pages shortly after receiving it. It is exactly as you say. Just let the writing flow from within and don't worry how it will be judged by others. Take the risk of exposing yourself. It is truly amazing what appears on a page when you lower your expectations. Thanks for sharing yourself with me."--Diane

"I know you get letters all the time about how much readers relate to your life. I guess you need to add me to the list. So often I find myself reading your column and laughing or crying because our experiences are so similar. Your 'lifeview' is so much like mine. I can't tell you how many times I say to myself, 'Yup, been there, done that.' Today's column about cleaning for the cleaning lady and about staying busy when workmen are around made me think again how much alike we seem to be, so I thought I'd write and tell you how much I enjoy reading with you."--Judy

**My book shelves are overflowing, if you've never received a free book from me, send an email and tell me what you like about the book club and be sure to include your mailing address. I have 50 books to give away to readers. Send me that email right now at:
enter-to-win2@emailbookclub.com

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 05-08-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I'd been thinking about the date, knew it was coming and had decided I was being too melodramatic--setting myself up for a very difficult day. But never-the-less, when I woke up this morning, the first thing I thought about was that two years ago today, my mother died.

How long will I count the years? Will I ever stop counting? After my mother died, I added the date to my "dates-to-remember" book. What a strange feeling, seeing the day my mother died recorded in a book filled with birthdays and anniversaries.

Today is the day and I remember...

Except for her bald head, the night before my mother died, no one would suspect anything was wrong. Mom was sitting on the sofa, eating some fresh fish the neighbor brought over and she was asking for seconds, "I can't remember the last time I had such tasty fish. Can I have some more?" Fresh fish has always been Mom's favorite, and now she's asking for seconds, just like she used to do when I was a kid.

But the next morning, my mother is talking about things of death and as the day moves forward, I realize we've stepped over the line. My mother hasn't died yet, but I am looking at the other side of life--too late for a conversation, too late for one final goodbye. I don't know where my mother is now, but all I can do is try to make sure she isn't in pain. The hospice nurse is on the way to help us make it through the night.

My mother's breathing is shallow now and at times she's gasping for a breath. I think this will be her final breath, but it's not. Mom keeps going--not ready to leave and as the night wears on, so does my patience. I'm tired, my emotions are battered, and my mother keeps hanging on. I feel like a horrible daughter. I wish my mother would die. I wish she would let go. I can't take this much more, but I remind myself that this is my mother's death, to be lived any way she sees fit. The final scene on this earth belongs to each of us alone. Two hours later, my mother slips away.

How long will I count the years? Will I always replay this day? It was a life changing experience to sit by my mother's side. Yes, it's a day I want to always remember.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 05-07-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

"My husband or wife (you fill in the blank, the sickness affects both men and women alike) cleans the house before the housekeeper comes." It's the classic joke and it's true.

In our house, it's my husband who's the brunt of the joke. Every other Wednesday, early in the morning, my considerate husband is scurrying around, trying to get things tidied up before the housekeeper comes. He empties wastebaskets, picks up the rugs, slides furniture out from the wall so it's easy access to vacuum, and if anything looks "too used" since the last time the housekeeper visited, my husband gets the bottle of cleaner and gives the filthy offender the once-over. After all we wouldn't want the housekeeper to think we got things dirty, would we?

But at 9 a.m., when the housekeeper walks through our door, my nutty husband instantly reverts back to his normal routine. And then I pick up the joke and take it a step further.

You see if someone is working in my house, cleaning, painting, fixing the air conditioner, it doesn't matter what the task is, I feel the need to be busy, too. Heaven forbid I'd be sitting on the sofa, watching television or reading a book when someone was vacuuming in the room next to me. Even if I could offer a perfectly good excuse for my idle behavior, "The reason I'm sitting on the sofa reading, is because I was up all night writing," it wouldn't be justification enough for me.

Napping, in the middle of the day, is another no-no that should only be done "undercover" and I'm not the only one who thinks it should be kept a secret. When my husband woke up from a nap yesterday afternoon and I told him a business associate had called while he was sleeping, my husband was horrified. "What did you tell him? You didn't say I was taking a nap, did you?"

"Of course not, dear, I'd never say that. I told him you were lying on the sofa in your underwear, eating bon-bons and watching your favorite soap opera--and since this is the day Annabelle finds out who her real mother is--you couldn't be disturbed."

No doubt about it, my husband and I both have the "fear-of-slacker-sickness" and I'd love to figure out why, but right now the plumber is knocking at my door, and so I need to go look busy.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Find out about new books you'll read and never forget from these terrific authors: Theresa Meyers, The Spellbound Bride; Toni McGee Causey, Bobbie Faye's Very (very, very, very) Bad Day; Susan Hubbard, The Society of S; Andrea Portes, Hick; and Judi McCoy, One Night With a Goddess. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 05-04-07

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

The best potato salad is homemade, but I admit that making potato salad the way my Grandma Hale taught me is a big project. Grandma's recipe is simple to follow, but there are a lot of steps and it takes a lot of time.

Peel the potatoes, boil the potatoes, drain and cool the potatoes, slice 'em, dice up a small onion, hard boil eggs, cool them, peel 'em, slice 'em and dice up a little celery, add mustard, mayonnaise and some salt and pepper and then put the bowl of potato salad in the refrigerator to marinate overnight. Same day potato salad tastes flat.

I still make Grandma's potato salad, but here's another potato salad recipe that takes a lot less time, and it's one of my favorites.

Red-Skinned Potato Salad

1/3 cup gourmet mustard (I use Grey Poupon Dijon, but use your favorite mustard.)
1/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayonnaise
2 pounds red-skinned potatoes, cooked and quartered (Buy the small sized potatoes.)
1 large tomato, chopped
2 tablespoons chopped green onion
4 slices bacon, cooked well and crumbled

First combine in a large bowl the mustard, sour cream and mayonnaise. Then add the potatoes, tomato, bacon and green onion. Chill overnight in the refrigerator.

I hope you love it as much as I do.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Congratulations to Minnie's licorice wheel winners: Vernell S., Carol E., Scott M., Dennis G., Scottie K., Christine N., Sandee D., Cornelia B., Bridget C., and Tanya N.

If you missed the Minnie Penny Candy Column, you'll find it at: http://tinyurl.com/24srwf

READ THE CLASSICS: Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing. Go to: http://tinyurl.com/35ylrr