Dear Reader Column 8-31-05

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Dear Reader,

I need to toughen up a little bit. Kenny Rogers sings about knowing when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, and there's a lesson in those words for me. The lesson I need to learn is when to be concerned about other people's feelings, and when to take care of my own.

Maybe I'm a pushover, but I do my best to look out for other people's feelings, even if my own get trampled in the process. To avoid making someone else feel bad, I choose my words carefully and leave a person with their dignity even when they're acting like a fool. That's the axiom I hold myself accountable to.

But today I'm rethinking that approach.

Maybe the next time someone says or does something rude, I should speak right up and ask them, "What kind of response are you expecting from me?" I always walk away wondering what their answer would be, and since they didn't care about my feelings, perhaps I shouldn't be concerned about theirs.

Maybe the lesson to be learned is theirs, not mine.

Maybe when people are being rude, I should warn them: "You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. It's Western Week at the book clubs! 87 Free books to give away to readers, recipes, trivia, two Western books to sample, and "yours truly," sitting on a bull! For all the links to the special events, go to (and scroll down for the links) http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cowgirlwin2.html

Comments

[Renee]

I will save, print,use this one. Asking questions is the best skill for me to use when dealing with rudeness or other negative behaviors from children or adults. It calls for strong effort and well worth it...wish I had learned it early in life. The motivation to show love to all people and not be a doormate at the same time takes effort, self control. It takes courage.

[Jean]

These were good thoughts, Suzanne, and I like your reply about, "What kind of response are you expecting from me?" I am having serious issues with an adult son right now and this is probably what I should have said to him....rather than what I did say.
Life goes on and we all have to deal with our choices.
Thanks for letting me read with you.