Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 6-16-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I was speed walking around the downtown last Saturday, and when I went by a barber shop, I noticed a handwritten sign on the front door: "Closed today due to illness. Sorry for the inconvenience."

The first thought that went through my mind was, 'That's no way to run a business. You can't just put a sign on the front door with an excuse when you're supposed to be open. What if someone was counting on getting a haircut today?' But after walking a few steps further, I stopped, sat down on a bench, and thought about the remarks I'd just rattled off. I felt ashamed. What had I become? Where did that little outburst come from? And just when did I adopt that kind of thinking? I didn't like it at all.

I love the downtown in the city where I live. It has a lot of new fancy buildings, but it's managed to retain many of the old ones, too. When I'm walking on Main Street, it still feels like I'm in a small town. It's fun to go into a store when I know the owner by name. Sometimes I even get a hug. We shoot the breeze, I hear about what's going on in their lives, and they want to know what's going on in mine.

When I walk into a chain department store, I never ask, "How's business? What have you been up to lately?" I wouldn't even know the clerk's name if she wasn't wearing a name tag.

I don't know how this got-to-have-it-now, demanding attitude invaded my life, but it's disgusting. And now that I'm aware of it, it's got to go. The technology gadgets of today may keep me wired and in an "everything-can-be-had-in-an-instant" mindset, but no thank you. I'll settle for a slower, easy, neighborly pace, where real life happens--people get sick, have babies, and celebrate anniversaries. I hope the barber is feeling better tomorrow. I've never met him, but I think I'll stop by and say hello.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Sample an extra title this week. If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name, by Heather Lende. It also has a printable format, so you could print it t and take it with you on your summer activities. I have 10 copies of the book to giveaway to readers. Send me an email, tell me what you think of the book, and you're entered in the drawing. And when you go to the link below you can enter to win a free trip to Alaska.

Enjoy the read. To start reading, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/alaska/index.html

Dear Reader Column 6-15-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I bought myself an automatic bubble machine--can't explain it. I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up, because when I woke up last Wednesday morning and wrote out my "to do" list for the day, low and behold, when I reviewed it, I saw that I'd written "bubble machine"
on it.

The sales pitch on the box says "Party like crazy!" and that's just what I've been doing. Granted, so far it's only been a party for two--just me and my bubble machine--but "we've" been having a good time. Whenever the mood comes over me, I grab my bubble machine (it has a handy carrying handle), head outdoors, flip the switch and instantly I'm surrounded by bubbles.

I know it sounds strange, but I can't remember when I've had so much fun--and the price was only $12.95. I do need to find a place to buy "bubble liquid" in bulk though, because I've all ready emptied through three huge bottles of dish soap. (In case you get the bubble bug and you buy your own machine, remember to mix water with the dish soap or the bubbles are too concentrated and they leave a real mess on your car, the side of the house, your neighbor's house, joggers going by your house--well, you get the idea.)

To see me and my bubble machine, go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/bubble.html

And if you'd like to win a bubble machine that's just like mine, all you need to do to enter the drawing is send me an email and tell me why you want a bubble machine. It's as easy as that. Of course if you win, you'll have to send me a picture of you making bubbles!

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Sample an extra title this week. If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name, by Heather Lende. It also has a printable format, so you could print it t and take it with you on your summer activities. I have 10 copies of the book to giveaway to readers. Send me an email, tell me what you think of the book, and you're entered in the drawing. And when you go to the link below you can enter to win a free trip to Alaska.

Enjoy the read. To start reading, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/alaska/index.html

Dear Reader Column 6-14-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Thanks for writing. I appreciate it.

From my Email Bag:

"Dear Suzanne, every once in a while, someone says or writes something that shines like a little jewel among the prose, and you hit one today [in your column]. Your final sentence read '...we're walking together hand-in-hand, but he's on South Washington Street and I'm strolling down Memory Lane.'

It's the kind of thought that you roll around in your mouth, repeat out loud and savor like a favorite treat. Years ago, I would read and re-read Jean Kerr's essay collections, and an author named Teresa Bloomingdale as she chronicled life with a husband and 12 kids. I kept thinking that I really needed to write each author and let them know how much I appreciated their work, and while I was noodling around with phrases to try to explain exactly how I felt, it was too late.

Now when I see something that is special, I try to get something out quickly. So...nicely, nicely done. Thanks so much for sharing."

--Nancy Nosek / South Holland Public Library

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Sample an extra title this week. If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name, by Heather Lende. It also has a printable format, so you could print it t and take it with you on your summer activities. I have 10 copies of the book to giveaway to readers. Send me an email, tell me what you think of the book, and you're entered in the drawing. And when you go to the link below, you can enter to win a trip to Alaska. Enjoy the read.

To start reading, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/alaska/index.html

Dear Reader Column 6-13-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My postman wishes he would have taken a less safe path in life. I asked him one day if he liked his job, because he always seems a little bit on the edge about it. No hesitation, he didn't have to think about his answer. "When I was young, a bunch of my friends went to Vegas. Some of them are dealers now and they love their jobs. Me, I took the safe route, good benefits and all, but no, I don't really like my job. I wish I would have taken a different route." I suggested to him that it's never too late, but I could tell that in his mind, it was.

"I wish I would have..."

Thankfully, I rarely find myself making that statement. It's not that I've always made the best or right choices in my life--far from it. But when I look back over the path that I've taken so far, I wouldn't change a thing--even the bad things--because some of the really horrible choices that I've suffered through, they serve me well today.

When I see someone making an obviously dumb choice in their life and I hear others around me saying, "How could they think like that?" Well, I know firsthand how someone could think like that, because I used to think the same way. Call me crazy, because I was. Ask me why I had such idiotic thinking, why sometimes I ended up in such bad situations, I don't know for sure. But I do know that anything can happen to anyone.

And since most of it's happened to me, I think sometimes it makes it easier for me to talk to anyone, about anything. Because chances are, I've been there.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Sample an extra title this week. If You Lived Here, I'd Know Your Name, by Heather Lende. It also has a printable format, so you could print it t and take it with you on your summer activities. I have 10 copies of the book to giveaway to readers. Send me an email, tell me what you think of the book, and you're entered in the drawing. And when you go to the link below you can enter to win a free trip to Alaska.

Enjoy the read. To start reading, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/alaska/index.html

Dear Reader Column 6-10-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My husband and I were out for a leisurely drive when he stopped in front of a cute little historic home. I thought he was admiring the rose gardens, but that wasn't what caught his eye. No, he was enthralled with the trash pile. There was a pile of trash at least 8 feet long, in front of the house.

"Now there's a trash pile to be proud of," my husband told me.

I wasn't really all that surprised by his reaction. I've known for some time now that I'm married to a trash man. Before we met, I never dreamed that a pile of refuse could bring someone so much joy. Why he's even had me take a photo. His pose reminded me of the old black and white photographs of hunters, standing tall, holding their rifle upright in one arm, their other arm bent across the front of their waist with one foot planted on top of their trophy. (In my husband's case, it's a leaf blower in one hand, a chain saw in the other, and his foot is perched on top of a mound of trash bags.)

I used to think this trash thing was only a quirk of my husband's. But the last time I visited Ron, my stepfather, he and my husband did some spring cleaning and yep, you guessed it, now I have two trash men in my life. They were big trash talkers on Sunday, boasting to the other neighborhood guys, "Come and take a look at this heap of trash."

But come Monday morning, when the real city trash men showed up, those trash rookies were crouched down behind the front picture window in the living room, their heads bobbing up and down to periodically take a peek.

"I wonder if they'll take everything? Look, look, by golly, they're actually going to take it all. Oh, oh, that box--that's the real heavy one. Wow, look at that guy. He picked it up, look--he's throwing it in the back of the truck all by himself. Oh, my aching back."

As soon as the garbage truck was at least four houses down the street, they went outside and surveyed the "scene of the crime." Two trash junkies shaking their heads, amazed by a professional's ability to, in mere minutes, dispose of a pile of trash that took them all day long to accumulate. Like a couple of kids, they were star-struck. I can see it now, Miniature Trash Man Action Figures. I know two guys who would buy them.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 6-09-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I was thinking the other day about a compliment a teacher gave me when I was a freshman in high school. I was in the choir and one day when we were rehearsing some harmony parts, the choir director abruptly stopped us and said, "Okay, now you guys singing the alto part, listen to Suzanne. Hear the vibrato in her voice? That's how I want you to sound. Suzanne, sing those bars for me."

Why, the inside of me was beaming and no doubt the outside was glowing, too. I didn't realize I was doing anything outstanding and I probably wouldn't have ever recognized it if my teacher, Mr. Svobota, hadn't pointed it out to me. But it sure made a 14-year-old's day, and it's amazing, it still feels good even when I think about it today--and it happened over 36 years ago.

I was put here in the world to do the little things. No doubt about it, it's clear to me that's my job. I know it doesn't sound too overwhelming of an assignment. But believe me, remembering to do the little things is a real challenge because the little things can easily be forgotten if I don't attend to them right away.

I was sitting on my side porch the other night, looking across the street at the new outdoor lighting that my neighbor had just installed. 'What an improvement he's made,' I thought to myself, 'that lighting is gorgeous. I bet he doesn't realize that not only does "he" get to enjoy it, but the rest of us in the neighborhood are enjoying it, too.' I even commented about it to my husband.

But then came that "challenging" part, I told you about. Now, I needed to remember to thank my neighbor when I saw him. I probably should have just walked over to his house, right then and there--even though it was nine o'clock in the evening--because it's still on my list of things to do.

Some things I can put off until tomorrow, but giving someone a compliment, I don't like to let that wait. I'm afraid I'll get busy and then it won't ever happen.

I am getting better about it though. Frequently, throughout the day, I break from my routine for a few minutes and take care of the "little things". When I feel the moment, that's the best time for me to pick up the phone or write a note. And you know, I think this is just the right time for me to walk across the street and knock on my neighbor's door.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Congratulations to Kathi Buescher, the winner of Speak Without Fear, by Ivy Naistadt.

Dear Reader Column 6-08-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I always try to look for the positive side of things, but I haven't discovered anything advantageous about mosquitos, and I haven't found anything satisfying about using an automated phone answering system either.

The "press one, press two, answer yes or no" inquisition, probably wouldn't bother me nearly as much if companies were just honest about it.

"In order to serve you better, please answer a few questions."

(Bull-puckey. In order to avoid paying someone to answer the phone, we've installed an automated phone system.)

"We care about your call."

(No you don't, or you'd have a live human being answer it right away.)

I still wouldn't like it, but at least I'd respect a company who said:

"Thanks for calling today. We're not going to lie to you. We've installed this automated phone answering system to save 'us' time. But think about it this way: by the time you go through all the menus, pushing buttons, and starting over again at least once, it will kill time. Otherwise, you'd just be on hold listening to Muzak. This way, at least you feel like you're doing something productive.

And yes, we'll ask you for your name, address, social security number and your account number right away. And yes, we tell you the reason is so that we can have your records ready when you finally do get to talk to a live person--but that's a lie, too. Because when a real person finally does come on the phone line, he'll ask you for your name, address, social, and account number all over again. You see it's really a ruse.

Thank you for putting up with us. We really do appreciate it. And that 'is' the truth."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 6-07-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Last week's column about napping brought a bunch of reader email and it's just what the doctor ordered.

From my Email Bag:

"Suzanne, I am a doctor and I order you to take a nap every day. I write this for my patients a lot. Please do."--Shannon Oates M.D.

"In Europe, there's a 'nap movement.' Companies are instituting a 30 minute block in the afternoon, where the lights are dimmed. If employees choose not to nap, they at least stop all activity that would prevent others from relaxing. Their work days are lengthened, or lunches shortened to compensate, but it's a company-wide down time."--Merritt Nenneman

"Suzanne, I schedule a 30 minute nap every Sunday afternoon. I go to church in the morning, usually meet friends for lunch afterwards, then go home and reward myself with a nap. I'd do it more often, but I just can't find the time. I enjoy reading with you."--Julie Watkins

"I have to tell you that you really hit the nail on the head today. I run a daycare out of my home and as you can imagine, nap time is VERY important here. I may not be able to take a nap myself, but I do regain my sanity while the little ones nap."--Janet Nevills

"I chuckled when I read today's message. Having three children under three, my favorite time of day is nap time - finally time to relax!!--Karen L. Walter

"Suzanne, you have my permission to take a daily nap. If anyone questions it, just tell them that it is a proven, scientific, fact that taking a short nap in the afternoon is good for you (as usual mother was right!). Just don't ask me to take one too, since when I do, I feel terrible for the next hour or so. ;>)"--Pete Matassa

"At my daughter's all day kindergarten, they don't call it nap time. The new terminology is 'body break.' :-)"--Anne Weas

"Suzanne, as a massage therapist I have thought that very thing. It's time for a nap, scoot over. :)"--Leah VanHoose

*If I used your email in today's column, let me know and I'll send you a free book from my bookshelf. You can read it after your nap!

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 6-06-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Whenever I'm working on an upcoming speech, I always carry my notes with me just in case I have to kill some time, and then I pull out my notes and rehearse. I was waiting in my doctor's office the other day--waiting longer than usual because she had to leave to deliver a baby--so rather than reschedule my appointment, I decided to practice my speech. I thought I was lip-synching the words, but I think people could still hear me, because I started to notice that new patients walking into the office were avoiding me. I guess I couldn't really blame them. If someone's sitting in a doctor's waiting room, talking out loud to themselves, and in my case moving my arms in the air--my hands always get involved in my conversations--I shouldn't be surprised that people would sit in any chair other than the one next to me.

But eventually the waiting room filled up and a woman did have to take the seat next to mine.

"I don't want you to think I'm strange," I told her, "I'm kind of talking to myself because I'm working on a speech that I have to give in a few weeks."

Now usually if you mention to someone that you're working on a speech, most people respond with a huge exhale--they're so relieved it's you, and not them, talking in front of hundreds of people. But not this woman, "Oh, it won't bother me," she said, "in fact, why don't you just stand right up here in front of me, and let me hear it. I'll be your dry-run audience. What's this speech about?"

It turned out that my enthused audience of one was actually a presentation coach. She works for Mary Kay and part of her job is to teach people how to give better presentations in front of groups.

I'm gutsy, and not afraid of public speaking, but that would've been a little too public, even for me. But rethinking it now, maybe I should've taken her up on her offer. Who knows, I might have signed up everyone in the room to start reading at the book clubs.

It's true, most people fear public speaking more than death. But probably no one has ever been as much of a scaredy-cat as my friend Lois, and there's a plaque on the wall of a Dale Carnegie office in New York City to prove it. Lois actually couldn't walk in the room the first time she went to a meeting, so she sat outside the doorway and introduced herself from there. But she didn't stay a scaredy-cat for long. Today, she's a highly, sought-after public speaker.

I confess, I still get the jitters whenever I'm up in front of people, but I've discovered a secret weapon--my computer glasses. They only focus the distance from as far away as my computer screen. So when I'm wearing them in front of a group, the people still all "have their clothes on," but they all look fuzzy and out of focus to me.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. If you tremble at the thought of public speaking, I've got the perfect book for you, "Speak Without Fear" by Ivy Naistadt. I'll send my personal copy to a lucky reader. Email and tell me your worst nightmare about public speaking, and you'll be entered in the drawing.

Dear Reader Column 6-03-05

Join my email book club. Over 280,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

There is no shame in making a mistake. That's something that I need to remember today, because I'm giving myself twenty lashes and feeling a little embarrassed. I've been around long enough to know better, to realize that if I'm going to be "out there" and trying new things, that if I don't make a mistake now and then, I'm probably not pursuing anything too worthwhile. But that logic is much easier to digest when I haven't just made a crummy decision.

Early in my career, when I was trying to get the book clubs off the ground and I wasn't sure what direction to go, I called on a lot of companies, fishing for a partner, hoping to find some direction. My list of appointments was impressive. But in the early years, most of the corporate giants that I called on listened, but no sale. My husband used to frequently point out to me that most people would have been thrilled just to get an appointment at the companies that I'd approached.

But I'm usually shooting for 100 percent, and some of the fuzzy thinking that goes along with that fairy tale is that when I present an idea to someone, I can't for the life of me understand why they aren't immediately excited and jumping for joy like I am. My take on it is that I wouldn't even be presenting the idea to them, unless I thought it was hot and a great match.

I remember one New Year's Eve when I actually took a piece of paper, drew a line down the middle of it, and wrote "Success" on one side, and "Failure" on the other. My Failure list tallied up much longer. I was devastated. And for the rest of the year I used to refer to that list as my "Wall of Shame."

Thank heavens I finally came to my senses and realized that if I kept living in a dream world--thinking I had to succeed 100 percent of the time--I would never be able to celebrate any successes. Nothing would ever be good enough and I'd always be in a state of trying. What a waste of joy--and that would be the real shame.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com