Dear Reader Column 12-29-04

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Dear Reader,

I was feeling pretty sad and disappointed a few weeks ago and when I mentioned it to a friend she matter-of-factly said, "Okay, and why is that a problem?"

Her rationale was that most people tend to walk around thinking that they should feel happy and cheerful every day, and if they aren't, they see it as a failure. But it's not. Because that's just the way life is. Up and down, happy and sad.

She sold me on her theory and I decided to stop resisting and give myself permission to feel sad and disappointed. And you know what, it took some of the pressure off--almost immediately, because I didn't need to "fix" the way that I felt anymore. I could just "feel" whatever came my way.

My usual routine, when I'm not feeling great, is to work hard at pretending that I'm happy. This method definitely hasn't proved to be successful in the past. Because if I turn away from what I'm feeling, I'm just postponing a hurt that I'll end up having to deal with later. And the tricky part about later, is that my sad and disappointed feelings then show up as anger. I turn into one angry, irritated Suzanne, and by then I can't explain why.

It's a messy job--working through crummy feelings, walking through the mud and muck, but it's a necessary journey. Having a lousy day? Hey, grab your boots, and let's walk together. I'll be happy to show you the way.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
[email protected]
www.DearReader.com

Comments

[Barbara]

I was enjoying that book that you sent in error to the Romance Book Club. Any chance you'll feature it soon? Sure hope so.

Enjoy all the book clubs.

Barb