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Dear Reader,
I'm not a patient person when I'm in a group. Part of me feels bad about that, but the other part of me doesn't really care. Basically, I try to avoid getting involved in any sort of committee that has to make a group decision. Works for me.
But I realize that avoidance isn't always a plausible solution.
Other people work just fine in groups. So why can't I?
Understanding a problem is one of the first steps to solving it. So, let me see... Why is it that, whenever I have to function in a group, it drives me nuts? It irritates the heck out of me, and I feel like I want to run out of the room screaming, "Are you people insane?"
For starters, there's this "you-have-to-reach-a-consensus"
thing. In the time that it takes me to get people to see "it" my way (gee--no control issues here!), I could have finished the project myself--and, I might add, done a great job, too.
People strategically divide in groups. No one acknowledges it, but there's always one group of people who are rooting for the project to work, and they're committed to making it happen. And then there's that "other" group--the people who will do their darndest to sabotage any idea the group decides to try to implement.
In the past, my strategy for getting along in groups has been to cheerfully agree to a number of small points. I figured if I acquiesced to 10 small items on the agenda, the group would cut me some slack on the 11th hour issue--the one most important to me. But never assume--because everything is up for discussion in a group.
In fact, I'm convinced that "discussion" is the group's most powerful secret weapon. If you discuss something long enough, there will be group member casualties. Sheer boredom will take out a few members. A desperate need for a bathroom break will always get at least one person to vote "yes" when he'd rather say "no."
Malnutrition fosters group cooperation, too (the promise of lunch "if" we can reach a consensus). And finally there are members like me who get so sick and tired of rehashing, slicing and dicing the same thing over and over (and over) again that they'll agree to anything just to get out of the room before they scream, "Are you people insane?"
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com
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