Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 07-17-09

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Dear Reader,

I write a story and readers write one back to me...

"Dear Suzanne,

While reading your column today, I was reminded of my favorite reality-check phrase. This bit of wisdom was given to me by a nun who was teaching a psychology class I took shortly after separating from my first (alcoholic) husband. I was feeling guilty about abandoning him and I was really beating myself up about it. This wonderful woman taught the class about guilt that day. She taught us about how heavy an emotion it is and how useless it is, in its heaviness. She then taught everyone about the things we say to ourselves that cause us to feel guilty about a feeling or an action.
A primary trigger phrase: 'I should have ___________' (you fill in the blank).

Next came her gift to the class. She taught us this phrase:

'Thou Shalt Not Should on Thyself.'

I have carried that gift with me ever since, and shared it untold times along the way. It became a favorite of my (second) husband's and it was one of the last things I said to him before he died in March. He was feeling guilty for leaving me too soon, for smoking the cigarettes that gave him the lung cancer that took him from me. I will say that there was not a day that went by, that I did not wish he was not smoking. In the end however, he had no cause for guilt for his choices or his actions. I chose to be with him, and not for a minute did I ever regret that choice.

'Sweetie, thou shalt not should on thyself.'

Best to you and thank you for sharing your gem today. Hope you find this one a good addition to your repertoire."--Chriss

"Suzanne,

Thank you for your message today. It was very timely for me and my friends here at work. Lay-offs are going to be announced tomorrow. We've known about it for a week and it has not been a pleasant atmosphere around here. Rumors are rampant and we hash them over constantly. It is stressful.

When I opened my e-mail from you this morning, it was like a giant light bulb clicking on. I know your note was addressing negative comments, but it has a great application to our situation, too. We have spent all this time and energy worrying over something out of our control. Frankly, 'I just don't have that kind of time' to worry over it anymore. I shared your e-mail with my pals and they really appreciated the message, too. Thank you very much for bringing a reality check into our week that we very much needed."--Dot

If you missed the column Dot and Chriss are referring to, you'll find it at: http://tinyurl.com/mjbtea

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Warmest regards,
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

SEARCHING FOR YOUR NEXT BIG THRILL? Read the "Between the Lines" feature interview with Jonathan Kellerman then read about great thrillers from: Chris Kuzneski, Blake Crouch, James Scott Bell, Howard Shrier, Vicki Hinze, John Gilstrap, Carolyn Haines, Dakota Banks, Eric Wilson, Julie Kramer, Robert Gregory Browne, Leslie Parrish, Eric Stone, John M. Wills, Mike Lawson, Robert Liparulo and Laura Caldwell. Go to: http://www.thrillerwriters.org

* This month's Penguin Classics book is The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields. To comment on the book and enter the Penguin Classics Drawing, go to: http://tinyurl.com/JulyClassics

Dear Reader Column 07-07-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

This week you could be one of the five lucky readers chosen to read an author's manuscript even before his editor does!

Thriller writer Nate Kenyon is offering something very special for five lucky Dear Reader subscribers: a chance to become a "first reader" of his new work. Email Nate at nate@natekenyon.com with the subject line "First Reader Contest," and at the end of the week he will choose five names out of a hat. The winners will receive a signed copy of his new novel, The Bone Factory--and a signed manuscript copy of the first draft of his work in progress, Sparrow Rock.

These lucky five will get to read his new book even before his editor does. There's a catch though--he's looking for feedback. He'll be asking these first readers what they think of the story, and their comments will help him fine-tune the book as it goes through the editing process.

Sound like fun? Then email Nate and get started! He's waiting to hear from you.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Congratulations to the winners of the Calling Card Holder Giveaway: Pam Wissore, Dennis A. Matejka, Susan Biggs, Katey McKinley, Chandra Stewart and Mim Grossman.

 

Dear Reader Column 07-01-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

The past few weeks my husband and I have been fixing up our house like we're getting ready to sell it. But we're not. Why do people (including me), usually wait until they decide to sell their house to get their house in order? Why don't I fix things up while I'm living here, so I get to enjoy them instead of strangers?

I'm thanking the Home and Garden Channel for my newfound desire to fix things up around my house, and to even notice they needed fixing in the first place. For six weeks, mostly lying around in bed recuperating from surgery, HGTV was my favorite channel. I vowed when my energy returned, a transformation would happen in my house and it's going on right now.

The wrought iron railing on my side porch has been painted, the ceiling in my dressing room and bedroom are being touched up. The roof sprung a leak two years ago, the roof got fixed, but the watermark stains were left behind. The sexy little lights underneath my kitchen cupboards fizzled out over a year ago, the grout on my kitchen floor needed mending here and there, and some of the wooden blinds in my house were damaged when Mama Cat, (the feral cat I take care of) had surgery three years ago. Mama had to recuperate indoors and when the anesthesia wore off, she scoured my wooden window blinds looking for an escape. Mama's surgery scars healed, but the claw marks on my wooden blinds didn't. I've even hired a carpenter to screen in my front porch and the minute the old fashioned porch railings were in place, it was instant curb appeal. (And no mosquitoes.)

Just like you and me, even the folks on HGTV do the math when they're evaluating what to spend money on. If you update a kitchen it means extra dollars when you sell, repaint and it's money in the bank, screen in your front porch--I have no idea what that means in dollars--but in the meantime the enjoyment of sitting on the front porch is priceless to me.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Congratulations to the winners of last week's Hat Giveaway (don't forget to send me a photo when you get the chance): Cara Coe, Mary Diane Hawkins, Sabine Veasey and Martie Philpot.

 

Dear Reader Column 06-30-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Congratulations to the winners of the Puzzle Box Giveaway: Gary DeRemer, Dana Bilyeu, Linda Brown, Markenna Pharr and Ruth Farello. Hundreds of readers had fun doing the Dear Reader Column Crossword Puzzle over the weekend.

Even though I gave readers a Hint Link, so they could find the answers to the crossword puzzle, most people didn't use the link because they didn't want to cheat. Or as Bethany put it, "I had to think hard on a couple of them, but I didn't want to fudge and get help on the answers."

I found readers' cheating comments amusing. How can you cheat on a puzzle that is just for fun and you don't even have to finish it, in order to enter the free drawing? But deciding what's cheating, I admit it's a very personal and confusing issue. My husband finds it amusing when he asks if I've written today's column and my reply is, "Yes, but I cheated." When it comes to my writing, I consider it cheating when I search through old column notes I've started, but never finished. (I have two huge boxes filled with notebooks.) And I've definitely crossed over the cheating line when I discover some old column notes that for some reason didn't seem finished at the time. But then when I read what I'd written, a column was there all along I just didn't see it. Stealing old column notes and on top of that, not adding anything new--now that's definitely cheating! But as my husband reminds me, "Suzanne, how can it be cheating? Didn't you write those notes in the first place?"

You see how confusing deciding what cheating can be?

Is it cheating when I buy potato salad at the store and doctor it up with diced hard boiled eggs, parsley and paprika? Is it cheating when I wear tummy tucker panty hose, so I can slide into my favorite little black dress? (Well, the answer to that last one is no, because if I didn't eat anything when I had that dress on, I wouldn't need that tummy tucker panty hose in the first place. So when I first put the dress on, I didn't really need the extra tuck in the tummy, so it wasn't really cheating. Was it?)

If you missed the Weekend Crossword, it's still online. Give it a try, I think you'll enjoy it--and you have my permission to cheat or fudge or flimflam, or bamboozle or whatever you want to call it. Because you can't possibly cheat, it's just for fun. Here's the link: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/crossword062409.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

 

Dear Reader Column 06-29-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I hope you had a lovely weekend. I'm doing something a little different this morning, simply clicking away on the keys, typing aimlessly to see what comes out. I haven't let myself do this for awhile; dig inside and whatever shows up, shows up, because I like to think I'm in control. It's not an image I like others to see, but deep down it feels more comfortable. (Yes, I realize being in control--it's a ruse.) The truth is, my life is much more joyful and interesting when I step out of the way, and my writing comes easier, too. When I try to analyze every thought the flow disappears.

I heard an athlete make a similar comment the other day in an interview. He acknowledged that he practiced a lot. But when game day rolled around then he stopped concentrating on every little movement, and just let his body go on autopilot. His body and mind knew what to do, because he had rehearsed and the familiar groove had been imprinted.

And that's the way it is with writing. If I get out of the way, wonderful words show up on the screen in front of me. So my goal this week is to wake up every morning, notice the amazing sights and sounds, then get out of the way and let life happen.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: New authors, old favorites--all wonderful books you can win: Nate Kenyon, The Bone Factory; Emilie Richards, Happiness Key; Carla Neggers, The Mist; Hank Phillippi Ryan, Prime Time; and Gaelen Foley, My Wicked Marquess. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 06-18-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I'm the girl who'd rather be a server at a fancy party, than one of the guests.

I'm the girl whose New Year's Resolution 20 years ago was to make a good friend. (No violins for me. I knew folks, but I didn't have one of those really close friends I'd heard so much about, so I decided to get me one.)

I'm not a social butterfly, actually a little bit of a recluse, which is probably one of the reasons I'm a writer.

There's my list, and the reason I'm sharing it with you is to qualify why I seem to be a late bloomer in all of this online, social networking business.

Yes, I'm on Facebook, have posted on YouTube, have a page at MySpace and last week I even started Twittering. But the truth is I haven't quite caught on to the social networking wave yet because finding the time is a problem.

"How 'do' people find the time?" That's my question for you today. After I do my work, brush my teeth, load the washer, feed the cats, bake some cookies, pull weeds in the garden, read a book, watch the 'Mentalist,' spend time with my husband and grandchildren--the list goes on and on--there's barely enough time to shave my legs.

So do me a favor and share your social networking secrets with me. You'll find me at:

http://twitter.com/SuzanneBeecher

http://www.facebook.com/DearReader.com.SuzanneBeecher

http://www.myspace.com/dear_reader

But email is still my first choice, so feel free to continue to hit the reply key and you'll always find me that way, too.

If you're a social butterfly, please post this link to the book clubs and help spread the word. I sure would appreciate it.

http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/734/mweb/path25-3.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Win free copies of books you'll read and never forget from these terrific authors: Fran Cannon Slayton, When the Whistle Blows; Lev Raphael, My Germany; Susan May Warren, Nothing but Trouble; Mindy Friddle, Secret Keepers; and Judy Rodgers and Gayatri Naraine, Something Beyond Greatness. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 06-03-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

There have been defining moments in my life when suddenly something was so clear. The clues had been there all the time, yet for some reason I didn't notice. But then someone said something or I found myself in the middle of a situation, and suddenly I could see.

When I was in the process of selling my book (don't look for it yet, it won't be out until 2010 and of course I'll let you know) my agent and I were making the rounds visiting interested editors at publishing houses in New York City. In one of the meetings, before I even had a chance to sit down, an editor announced, "Suzanne, I love your voice, writing is definitely your calling."

It sounds bizarre, but it was the first time anyone had ever referred to my writing as a voice or calling. Of course I knew it was a compliment, but I'd never thought about my writing in those terms. No big deal, all I do every day is sit down and write about what's on my mind, a simple conversation with a reader. A literary voice and the other dynamics that go along with the craft of writing--I'm just a small town girl; meat, potatoes and gravy were on the table every day--the basics had always been enough for me. But somehow that day in New York City, hearing the words, "I love your voice, writing is definitely your calling," suddenly I could see.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

 

Dear Reader Column 06-02-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I'm still recuperating from my surgery four weeks ago. It's amazing how long it's taking and my doctor's informed me that it will probably be another four weeks before I'm back to normal--hopefully better than normal.

My body seems to be on track for that 8-week recovery plan, but I've noticed the past few days that my mind is headed in a different direction. One of the positive things about barely being able to get out of bed and counting the minutes until my next pain pill, was that I didn't have time to worry about the small stuff. Every day worries constantly vying for my attention--I told them to take a hike--plain and simple. All of my energy needed to be concentrated on getting healthy. "Somebody else is going to have to take care of that," is what I told myself, and somebody else did.

But now that I'm way down the road to recovery I noticed this past weekend there's an undertow of daily tension that's working its way back into my life and I don't like it. (Too bad there isn't a surgery to remove that too.) Tension always seems to find a way to take center stage in my life, but maybe this extended recovery time is a blessing, an opportunity to finally conquer it. Four weeks before I'm back to normal--better than normal and hopefully tension free. I can't wait. Wish me luck.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

SEARCHING FOR YOUR NEXT BIG THRILL? Read the "Between the Lines" feature interview with David Baldacci then read about great thrillers from: Clive Cussler & Paul Kemprecos, Austin Camacho, Thomas Fitzsimmons, Gregg Hurwitz, Sean Ellis, Laura Caldwell, James Rollins, Colleen Thompson, J.C. Hutchins & Jordan Weisman, Christy Reece, Eric Van Lustbader, Sandra Balzo, Jeffrey J. Mariotte, Michael Stanley and Margaret Fenton. Go to: http://www.thrillerwriters.org

Dear Reader Column 05-28-09

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I retired my bell yesterday, the one that's been sitting on the table, next to my bed, for the past three weeks. My wonderful husband waited on me every day while I was recovering from surgery. Ding, ding, ding, anything I wanted or needed, even a back rub at 3 a.m. and he was more than a willing spirit. I have a new appreciation for caregivers. When I'm fully recovered I'm going to be on the lookout for the opportunity to give a caregiver a night off. What a never-ending, tireless job.

Everyone should have a bell some time in their life and the opportunity to ding, ding and a loving person comes and waits on them. Your own personal bell is one of those gifts from the heart. So when my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday this past Tuesday I told him he'd already given me a gift. His loving attention for the past three weeks has been one of the best birthday presents this girl has ever received. And the neat thing is that even when my recovery is over I'll have the memories of a loving husband who was at my side when I needed him the most.

Gifts from the heart and homemade food have always been at the top of the list of my favorite presents. I remember the homemade Zucchini Bisque my good friend Linda made and then served at a cozy birthday lunch. And now I can add an Angel Food Cake with pink frosting and sprinkles to my list. I'd told my husband that no gifts were necessary, but I'm so glad he baked a cake and decorated it anyway. It was the best cake I've ever eaten and of course I made a wish before I blew out the candles because dreams still do come true.

Ding, ding, go to http://tinyurl.com/pevwp5 and win your own bell. I have 6 personally autographed bells for readers, see my pink Angel Food Birthday Cake, and you'll find the recipe for Linda's delicious Zucchini Bisque.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: New authors, old favorites--all wonderful books you can win: Eloisa James, This Duchess of Mine; Sabrina Jeffries, Don't Bargain with the Devil, Book 5; Patrick Robinson, Diamondhead; Marie Bostwick, A Thread of Truth; and Carla Neggers, The Angel. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

This month's PENGUIN CLASSICS book is The House Behind the Cedars by Charles W. Chesnutt. To comment on the book and enter the Penguin Classics Drawing, go to: http://tinyurl.com/MayClassics

Dear Reader Column 05-27-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Three weeks is a long time. It's so good to be back!

Two times in my life I've taken a three week vacation. (Okay, so I admit the past three weeks haven't really been a vacation.) But the extended time away from work did bring back memories of my only other three week holiday.

When our kids were young my father-in-law, who wasn't a rich man, gave my husband and me a healthy check, suggesting that pretty soon the kids would all be grown, so we needed to take a memorable family vacation now. Grandpa offered to take care of our cats and off we flew to Yellowstone National Park. Indeed it was a memorable vacation, but it was too long. At the end of just two weeks, the extreme nervousness and anxiety I felt pointed out to me just how much of my work is me. Which I suppose isn't such a bad thing, if you like your work. But on that particular occasion, I wasn't missing work I loved, instead it was more of a "white-knuckled" sort of longing. I felt like things were out of control because I'd been away too long. And when I finally did return, work felt the same as I'd left it--a daily tension-filled worry.

But these past three weeks have been different. Once the pain from my surgery subsided a bit and I started entertaining thoughts of returning to work, they were pleasant, comforting thoughts. I felt anxious to return, but not because I needed to feel in control. Instead I missed my every day routine, because I actually love what I do, and that thought made me feel proud of myself. Because sometimes I have a bad habit of repeating certain unpleasant behaviors in my life, 'For heaven sakes Suzanne aren't you ever going to learn, aren't you ever going to make progress?'

Indeed I have.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

* This month's Penguin Classics book is The House Behind The Cedars by Charles W. Chesnutt. To comment on the book and enter the Penguin Classics Drawing, go to: http://tinyurl.com/MayClassics