Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 12-04-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

After reading my column this past Wednesday, Gayle, a book club reader, wrote:

"Suzanne, where do you get the courage to share such private information with your readers? Yes, you did it again; you just opened my heart up and gave me permission to join you in your mother-daughter story. So many of us are suffering with similar stories, but keeping them to ourselves."

Gayle, I don't know if I can take credit for any amount of courage on my part because speaking from my heart, wearing my emotions on my sleeve, or on the page, is almost a requirement for me to live a joyful life. I grew up in an alcoholic environment. My father was an alcoholic, an infliction that ran deep in his family. Growing up I knew my dad was an alcoholic, for certain my mother knew he was an alcoholic, our relatives had to know because they helped carry my father into bed on numerous occasions, neighbors must have known, everyone knew but no one would talk about it. So I questioned my feelings. How could something like this be going on yet everyone pretends not to notice? It was very unsettling for me as a child and even to this day, one of the things I cannot tolerate, is when it feels like something is being hidden under the table. People are keeping something from me, maybe not telling me about it to spare my feelings, but yet I know what's going on and it makes me feel anxious and afraid.

So the sad story might be that I grew up surrounded by alcohol, but the good side of the story (a gift I've been blessed with, to be able to seek and find some good in everything) is that now I can pretty much talk about anything. Talking about the things in life that scare me, when I say them out loud, or write them down, suddenly they're not so scary anymore.

You're so right Gayle, many people have similar stories, and they keep them to themselves. But when friends like you read my words and then reply, we realize we're no longer alone.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

If you missed Wednesday's column, you'll find it at: http://tinyurl.com/yj7vmzq

Have a wonderful weekend,
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

KIDSBUZZ: This week, books for middle grade and young adult readers about rules, the world inside paintings, conscience and taking on the world from: Naomi Zucker, Callie's Rules; Mike Wilks, Mirrorscape; Amy Efaw, After; and Glenn Dakin, Candle Man. For a chance to win free books and more, see http://www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz

 

Dear Reader Column 12-02-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

The things I do and say to my daughter, I must remember the reason she sees them as uncaring and unloving, is because she's an alcoholic. My daughter may not have had a drink, or used any drugs for two months now, but the ways and thoughts of an addict are still with her.

When she is healthy and works her way out of the fog, when she can move about with ease without being under the thumb of alcohol and drugs, then she will understand my words and actions. And if that day never comes, I will know that I've given her the best love a mother can give, I've said no when she needed to hear it. I've held the line even though my heart is breaking.

I remember getting an email from a reader when I featured the book, The Soloist in my column. The reader commented on the book and about how much she enjoyed reading at the book club, and then with what seemed like the ease of telling me what she had for lunch yesterday, she told me about her son. He's a homeless man, who she sometimes sees sleeping on the street, when she goes to the market. The mother cannot "do" for her son, there's more behind the scenes than it appears.

And obviously today, as I "casually" write about my daughter, I realize there was nothing casual about the reader's words that day. How could she tell me the story about her son? It seemed unnatural, embarrassing, and I didn't know what to do with my own feelings when I read her email. How can a mother work such a story into an email? Because talking about it out loud, or writing about it helps a mother survive--and helps ease a mother's broken heart. Thanks for listening.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Gratefully,
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

KIDSBUZZ: This week, books for middle grade and young adult readers about rules, the world inside paintings, conscience and taking on the world from: Naomi Zucker, Callie's Rules; Mike Wilks, Mirrorscape; Amy Efaw, After; and Glenn Dakin, Candle Man. For a chance to win free books and more, see http://www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz

Dear Reader Column 11-30-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Tomorrow, December 1st, I've turned the corner and all roads lead to Christmas. So today I'm taking a deep breath and devoting time to reviewing what's really important to me this holiday season. Every year I set out with good intentions, reaffirming how I'm not going to get caught up in a lot of holiday 'shoulds' and run myself ragged. But ten days before Christmas I lose my focus and by the time Christmas morning rolls around I'm pooped. Yes, I'm able to enjoy the holiday, but sometimes it feels like I'm just going through the motions on Christmas Day.

I guess it really shouldn't come as a big surprise, all that build-up for one single event, how could anything possibly live up to such grandiose expectations? So this holiday season I'm taking a lesson from young Abigail. Remember the second grader in Ms. Anderson's class last year, who sent me a drawing titled: Abigail's Heart? It was a big heart, divided up into blank spaces, waiting to be filled-in with the things that Abigail held dear in her life. Being a second grader, I imagine Abigail's heart tended to change with whatever was center stage in her life at the moment (Mrs. Beecher--that's me--was written in one of the spaces, probably because we'd recently exchanged letters). But Abigail had the right idea. The things I hold dear in my life, especially this holiday season, I need a visual reminder to keep me on course.

Taking a lesson from Abigail, I filled in a copy of Suzanne's Heart the other day with reminders of what I really want to celebrate this holiday season, and I've taped it to the front of my refrigerator--the place where cherished family mementos are displayed.

Tomorrow all roads may lead to Christmas, but I'm at peace about it this year, because I have my heart to guide the way.

If you'd like a blank copy of Abigail's Heart to print for yourself, go to:  http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/heart0209.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: With so many new books out every week, we promise these are four that deserve your attention: Margaret Brownley, A Lady Like Sarah; Wendy Nelson Tokunaga, Love in Translation; John B. Olson, Powers; and Zoe Klein, Drawing in the Dust. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

* This month's Penguin Classics book is Under The Sea-Wind by Rachel Carson. To comment on the book and get some holiday recipes from Suzanne, go to: http://tinyurl.com/NovClassics

Dear Reader Column 11-18-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

It's one of those mornings when I feel a little on the confused and grumpy side, so it's difficult to write. I didn't get enough sleep last night. Too hot, too cold, too hard, too soft, I even went into the guest room hoping to find Baby Bear's "just right" bed, but nothing could help me get back to sleep.

My internal clock seems to still be off with the change in daylight savings time. When it gets dark, that's my signal to put on my pjs, grab my quilt and pillow, and start snuggling in for a good night's sleep. But when I'm thinking sleep at 6 p.m. (that's when it gets dark here now) and I'm asleep by 6:45 p.m., my internal clock is ready to roll out of bed eight hours later, but it's only 2:45 in the wee hours of the morning.

What does this girl do at 2:45 a.m.? Last night she came up with a hilarious idea for today's column. Wrote every word, but only in my mind, and now my mind's too tired and the funny isn't within reach. So I'm turning over the rest of today's column to book club reader Mary Ellen Weiler.

Mary Ellen responded to this week's Energy Fairy and multi-tasking columns and her email was just way too funny not to share. (And she saved my writing behind today, but that's what reading friends are for, right?)

Take it away Mary Ellen, I'm off to take a nap. . .

"Dear Suzanne,

My idea of multitasking is chewing on a cookie while swallowing coffee. Your list exhausted me by reading it. By the time you described the second 8 minute and 30 second time period, I was fanning myself while rooting for you. 'Go Suzanne!'

I used to be better at the multiple tasks. I could dress my daughter, make breakfast, and get the gum out of her hair. Now I am amazed if I can get myself dressed and find the hairbrush.

Christmas. Wasn't it just Valentine's Day? I'm not ready for this. I am still eating chocolate bunnies, and candy corn. Now where did I put the box with the tree. It's a small tree-about 3 feet, it can get lost. Maybe it's in with the curtains? No, that's where the printer is. It's got to be behind the snow shovel in the spare room.(don't ask.)

Yesterday you spoke of Energy Fairies and such. I say we mate the Energizer Bunny with the Fairy and get some serious help out here. Enjoy those flowers. I can smell the cookies from here, and isn't Monk cute?"--Mary Ellen Weiler

Thanks for filling in Mary Ellen. Could you email me your phone number in case I can't sleep again tonight?

If you missed Monday or Tuesday's column, you'll find them at: http://dearreader.typepad.com/

To enter this week's free book giveaway The Power of Pause, go to: http://tinyurl.com/ygs9mxw

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

KIDSBUZZ: This week, books for all ages about fitting in, magic and adventure, humor, and reconciliation from: Rose Kent, Kimchi & Calamari; Charlotte Kandell, The Scarlet Stockings; Randall de Seve, The Duchess of Whimsy; and Valerie Patterson, The Other Side of Blue. For a chance to win free books and more, see http://www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz

* This month's Penguin Classics book is Under The Sea-Wind by Rachel Carson. To comment on the book and get some holiday recipes from Suzanne, go to: http://tinyurl.com/NovClassics

Dear Reader Column 11-17-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

It's that time of year again. Time to start holiday multi-tasking, a mind set that unfortunately I'm way too talented at doing. If one hand's free, put a glue gun in it and start making napkin rings for the dinner table. Simply sit on the sofa and watch Monk? Why it's out of the question! Watching a favorite television show is permitted in the Multi-tasking Rule book, but only if I'm also ironing tablecloths and napkins, or taking the plastic off of the card table chairs, my husband and I bought yesterday. We'll need those extra seats for Thanksgiving dinner.

Relax and bake cookies for book club readers? I don't think so Suzanne, not unless you're planting pentas and begonias, too. This past weekend as I baked for readers who won chocolate chip cookies, (UPS will deliver them to you today) I also filled my Florida garden with five trays of flowers. Plant while I'm baking, how do I do it?

Once the cookie sheet goes into the oven I have 8 minutes and 30 seconds to devote to planting. My cookie timer sits next to me on the ground and when the bell goes off, I drop the spade, jog into the house, soap up and wash my hands, grab the potholder, turn the cookie pan around, set the time for 2 minutes 30 seconds more, then plop 12 scoops of cookie dough onto another fresh cookie sheet. When the cookie timer goes off again, I take the pan out of the oven, put the new pan in, set the timer for another 8 minutes 30 seconds, and head back outdoors to do a little more planting...and I've been wearing my pedometer again, so the extra steps running in and out the front door are counting towards my 10,000 steps a day.

Don't ya' love the holidays?

Working on slowing down the pace here in Sarasota, your reading friend...whoops, I almost multi-tasked my signature line right out of the column.

Thanks for reading with me. It' so good to read with friends.

Warmest regards,
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

SEARCHING FOR YOUR NEXT BIG THRILL? Read the "Between the Lines" feature interview with Andrew Gross then read about great thrillers from: Hamilton Wende, Steve Perry, Caridad Pineiro, Sam Cole, Todd Strasser, Heather Graham, Craig Larsen, Jordan Summers, H. Terrell Griffin and Derek Gunn. Go to: http://www.thrillerwriters.org

* This month's Penguin Classics book is Under The Sea-Wind by Rachel Carson. To comment on the book and get some holiday recipes from Suzanne, go to: http://tinyurl.com/NovClassics

 

Dear Reader Column 11-16-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Wanted: new Energy Fairies for Suzanne and book club reader Misty Eubank.

Job requirements: full time, ready to work 24/7 and just in case, built-in emergency back up batteries. Must love multi-tasking, skipping meals, little time for exercise, or lounging in a chair with your feet up, and be willing to work over time on holidays--sort of a work-till-you drop commitment. A cheery disposition is a must, no complaining, no sick days allowed, and absolutely no long bubble baths--only showers--they're quicker.

Okay, so the Want Ad may be wishful thinking, but Misty and I really do need a little help.

"Dear Suzanne, I must admit I was so surprised when I read your column today [about how an acupuncturist is helping you with anxiety]. You never appear to be anxious in your columns and I confess that in the past, I have been envious of your seeming ability to juggle cooking, gardening, writing, grandkids, husband, etc. effortlessly. I am a woman about the same age as you and I CANNOT DO ALL OF THAT!!!! The energy fairy has left the building. So while I am sympathetic to your anxiety, at the same time I am somewhat reassured that you are not 'Super Woman' and neither am I. Thanks for sharing this story. I needed to hear it. Now if I could just find a good acupuncturist."

...Misty Eubank

(Suzanne replies)

Dear Misty,

Sounds like you have trouble with your energy fairy, too. Isn't it frustrating? I know the feeling. Frequently Ms. Energy Fairy and I need to have a little heart-to-heart about why she isn't holding up her responsibilities. As far as I'm concerned it's Ms. Energy Fairy's job to be charged and ready to roll on a moment's notice. Just because I've dealt with a stressful problem earlier in the day and I'm feeling emotionally drained, she better find a way to make sure I'm perky, perky, perky all day long. We each have a job to do. Mine is to see how many activities I can stuff into one day, Ms. Energy Fancy-pants is suppose to make sure I have enough energy to do them. "No excuses," I tell her. Make friends with the Energizer Bunny, offer to do his laundry, or give him a foot rub--his feet must be killing him by the end of the day. I don't care what it takes, my Energy Fairy better be charged and ready for whatever and whenever I want to do something. Yet, I assure you she isn't, but we can still dream, can't we?

If your Energy Fairy has been letting you down, here's a great book I discovered, The Power of Pause: Becoming More by Doing Less by Terry Hershey. I love the book, it's on my holiday list to buy for friends and I have 12 copies to give away to readers. To enter the drawing, go to: http://tinyurl.com/ygs9mxw

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: With so many new books out every week, we promise these are five that deserve your attention: Barbara Pope, Cezanne's Quarry; Graham Garrison, Hero's Tribute; Shannon Van Roekel, Desert Fire; Jean Davies Okimoto, The Love Ceiling; and Tim Downs, Ends of the Earth. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

* This month's Penguin Classics book is Under The Sea-Wind by Rachel Carson. To comment on the book and get some holiday recipes from Suzanne, go to: http://tinyurl.com/NovClassics

Dear Reader Column 11-05-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Anxious, anxious, when I'm feeling anxious, I pinch my ears. I've been seeing an acupuncturist lately to help calm my anxiety level. I seem to be the perfect acupuncturist patient--ping, ping, immediately after the needles are inserted a warm and fuzzy current flows through my body. Thirty minutes later when the doctor returns to remove the pins, she has to wake me up because I'm sleeping.
Anxiety put to rest.

But I can't lie on the acupuncturist's table 24/7 until my body learns how to monitor my anxiety level on its own. That's why there's acupuncture "to go!" Stick it in your ear--literally. Five little silver balls, covered with flesh colored tape, placed in each of my ears so if I'm feeling anxious, I pinch my ears and instantly I get a dose of calm. With my long hair hanging down over my ears, only my acupuncturist knows for sure!

But maybe I should've explained to the people around me at the supermarket the other day. Shoppers were staring at me, and rightfully so, because I did look a little weird pushing my cart with one hand and pinching my ears with the other. Grocery shopping used to be a pleasurable, anxiety-free stroll. Walking up and down the aisles visualizing the wonderful dinner I'd cook when I got home, but not anymore.

Now shopping is work. Comparing prices and ounces. You'd think the big economy size of pork n' beans would be the best deal, but it's not. Two smaller cans give you more and cost less. Then there's the hassle of forgetting what I came to the store to buy. The list of ingredients for my Hot n' Sour soup is still at home on the counter, right where I left it. (The cell phone salesperson was right, I should have bought the phone that connects to the Internet, then I could just log on and look up the recipe. But then again, I'd be paying three times more a month for my phone service and wouldn't that cancel out any savings from comparison price shopping?)

Anxious, anxious, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I need to start pinching my ears!

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: With so many new books out every week, we promise these are four that deserve your attention: Debbie Macomber, One Simple Act--Discovering the Power of Generosity; Nicole Seitz, Saving Cicadas; Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC, Therapy Revolution; and Helen Benedict, The Edge of Eden. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader
And check out KidsBuzz too! http://authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz/

Dear Reader Column 11-03-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

The daily column brings a little slice of life from readers.

From my Chinny-chin-chin Email Bag:

"Suzanne, you must make a close friend pact. I have done this with a very close girlfriend of mine. I believe my family would allow a full beard to grow under my chin and take pictures and make jokes! But my girlfriend and I have sworn on our long friendship that we will show up and take care of the chinny-chin-chin issue. Oh I feel so serious about this issue that I now have a pair of tweezers in my nightstand, in my purse, in the little decorative box near my spot in the family room and yes in the console in my car! (We were once on a long distance car trip when the enemy began to invade and wave boldly.)

My mother did this for my grandmother and I have vowed to do it for her...but I have sons! They have no understanding of the war! Maybe one day I'll have a daughter in law and she will become the tweezers bearer. In the meantime, my girlfriend is my most trusted comrade. Thank you for always making me smile and sometimes laugh."--Toni Worlitz

"Dear Suzanne, thank you for yesterday's column regarding living wills. The past two weeks I have been visiting my dearest friend at the hospital where her husband lies motionless and in varying degrees of consciousness. She is struggling with the hardest decision we face when our spouse or loved one is so ill. They do not have living wills. But even in her sadness she reminded me as she always does that I should not let her facial hairs grow long when she reaches this stage in life. I guess this is one of those universal traits in women. Next visit I will share your story with her. Thanks for sharing it with us."--Barbara K.

"Suzanne, that was an interesting tidbit about hair on the chin. And the sidebar on your son's determination to hang on with a cigarette lighter and riding around in a car was great. To plug or not to plug, such a question, ha!"--Fred L. Black

*If you missed Monday's column, you'll find it at: http://tinyurl.com/ykyvswj

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

SEARCHING FOR YOUR NEXT BIG THRILL? Read the "Between the Lines" feature interview with Andrew Gross then read about great thrillers from: Kylie Brant, Michelle Gagnon, CJ Lyons, Wrath James White, Michael Beres, Karl Alexander, Anthony Flacco, Don Bruns, Jordan Dane, Libby Fischer Hellmann, and Donald J. Bingle. Go to: http://www.thrillerwriters.org

Dear Reader Column 11-02-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Years ago my husband and I each drew up a will, including a living will. Most people's living will outlines their wishes regarding life prolonging medical treatments. Mine does, too. If there's "no-hope, no-hope," feel free to pull the plug. Quite the opposite of our grown son's wishes, in his own words, "Don't pull the plug! I don't care if you have to plug me into the cigarette lighter and drive around with me in the front seat of the car. Find a way to keep me going!" But come to think of it, he might be out of luck now. Do they even put cigarette lighters in cars anymore? I guess we could hook him up to the IPod plug-in, or the phone charger and hope the car battery never goes dead.

I've added a personal grooming advanced directive to my own living will. Mind you, I'm not overly fastidious when it comes to grooming, but I've left strict instructions for my husband and grown children. If my mind should deteriorate and I end up sitting in a wheelchair parked in the hallway of a nursing home, with a crocheted lap pad resting over my knees, there better not be strands of curled hair dangling down from underneath my chin. Chinny-chin hair! It's one of my pet peeves. Don't people look in the mirror? Well, okay I admit they are fast growing. When I went to bed the other night, it was all-clear underneath my chin, but when I woke up there was a single dangling strand of hair waving at me. Get out the wax! Call the esthetician! Yes, I've left no wiggle-room in my living will, pull 'em out with your own teeth if you have to, but get rid of those chinny-chin hairs!

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: With so many new books out every week, we promise these are four that deserve your attention: Debbie Macomber, One Simple Act--Discovering the Power of Generosity; Nicole Seitz, Saving Cicadas; Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC, Therapy Revolution; and Helen Benedict, The Edge of Eden. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

Dear Reader Column 10-28-09

Join my email book club. Over 350,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

If I'd just been under the weather for a week during my recent three week staycation it wouldn't have interfered so much with my plans. But my vacation illness included a good old-fashioned cold sore on the left side of my lower lip, and a string of healthy fever blisters running down from my nose, to the top of my lip on the right side of my face. At least things were balanced!

There aren't a lot of things you can do when you are clearly a "marked" person. Even after I wasn't contagious my vacation activities were limited. I couldn't even enjoy simple pleasures like baking cookies and giving them away to strangers, or friends. "Here I baked today and I thought you might enjoy these cookies. Oh, that 2-inch scab thingy on my face underneath my nose, nothing to worry about. I assure you I'm not contagious--anymore. Well, I guess unless one of those little devils breaks open...but let's not even go there. My doctor gave me the 'all clear' yesterday. And anyway the cookie dough is sterilized--baked at 375 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown--so you have nothing to fear. Just because my doctor turned down the bag of cookies I offered him, that doesn't mean a thing, he's trying to lose weight. But just in case you're having trouble working up an appetite, here's a bottle of hand sanitizer to go along with the cookies."

When you live with "thingys" on your face for days, they start to feel familiar, kind of like one of the family. Now I understand a little better why the last time I visited Uncle George and Aunt Alice (who I hadn't seen in over a year) after hellos and hugs, and the coffee was poured, the conversation moved on to Uncle George's latest surgery. "I'm feeling pretty good now, but boy you should see the scar they left when they took the vein out of my leg." And without a second thought he's standing up, unzipping his pants, sliding them down so everyone can get a good look, "It's healed pretty good, don't you think?"

Well, I'd do a little show and tell, before-and-after, but take my word for it--I'm all healed now. So with that in mind, let me announce this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie contest. My oven's preheated and I'm mixing the batter. Do you dare to go where others are squeamish?

To enter this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway, and to see past satisfied and "healthy" cookie winners, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cookie091809.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

KIDSBUZZ: This week, picture books, middle-grade and teen novels about dinosaurs, expressing anger, gorilla suits, and true love from: Laura Rennert, Buying, Training & Caring for Your Dinosaur; Gail Silver, Anh's Anger; Amy Gordon, The Gorillas of Gill Park; and Nancy Werlin, Impossible. To find out more from the authors go to: http://www.authorbuzz.com/kidsbuzz