(Suzanne is out today, but has left behind one of her favorites.)
I learned something about myself today and it was embarrassing. The good news is now that I recognize the way I've been thinking, I can change it. Lately I've been feeling negative and having trouble connecting with the joy I normally feel in my life. Whenever I'd try to figure out the reason why, I'd end up making a list of situations and people who were stealing away my joy. But today I realized the person who's been stealing my joy--is me.
The confirmation came from my dear husband. "I'm too negative lately," I turned to my husband and waited for his reaction.
"Yes you are," was his reply and then he was silent.
Okay, so he wasn't going to add anything to that statement. Nothing to lighten the punch, nor was he going to offer any excuses for my behavior. And neither could I. Suddenly I realized that instead of tending to my own life, I've secretly been running other people's lives, even people I don't know. Feeling angry and judging the choices they make. Not out-and-out telling them what I think. Instead, I've been having those conversations with myself. But when you think about negative things long enough, eventually they become a reality in your mind. I'm really quite surprised about how I've been feeling, because seeing negativity in other people--I can't stand it. I want to run away. But today there was nowhere to run, because the negativity was in me.
I learned something not so pleasant about myself today, but I also learned that when you forgive yourself, it's amazing how quickly your smile returns and negativity turns to joy.
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.
P. S. This is the last day to enter my Chocolate Chip Cookie giveaway. I love to bake, but I can't eat all the cookies, so help me out. Enter to win and if your name is drawn I'll send you a gallon bag of my homemade cookies. Click here to enter.