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I'm a fixer-upper, but some people would argue it's not one of my better traits. Tell me what's bothering you and I'm a good listener, but then I might want to make it all better, even if you didn't ask for my help.
My mind starts sifting through possible solutions, unfortunately it comes naturally to me, (I'm good at thinking on my feet,) and immediately I move from telling you how sorry I am, to offering solutions about how we could fix this problem. The singular becomes plural and "your" problem is now "our" problem.
"What can 'we' do to fix this?"
Don't get me wrong, my intentions are good. I don't mean to be pushy, but sometimes I am. Especially if it's a problem I've experienced myself. The pain is too familiar and I don't want to see anyone else suffer, so stepping in and fixing-it-up, seems like the logical thing to do. But I've noticed that sometimes when I offer to fix problems, people get annoyed--even a little testy. So lately I've been doing some serious contemplating about whether or not I should get rid of the fixer-upper side of my personality. And after much consideration, I've concluded--maybe it's not such a bad trait to have after all.
Listening to people's problems and offering immediate solutions, even volunteering to step in and fix their problems myself, why, some people get paid to be a "fixer-upper" and we thank them for doing it. Therapists, doctors, even my plumber is a paid fixer-upper but he would rather skip the listening and consoling--"I'm sorry" part--all together:
"Look Suzanne, please cut to the chase. Do you want me to come out and fix your backed-up toilet, or do you just want to stay on the phone for a couple of hours telling me how it happened?"
I did want him to come out, and I gladly paid him a whole lot of money--and I even thanked my fixer-upper (he is very skilled at his job).
Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.