Dear Reader Column 03-10-08

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Dear Reader,

It's much easier for me to write how I feel about something when I've just experienced the moment. Even a simple, "Thank you, I loved it!" is more poignant and heartfelt the first time I thought about it. When I opened the box and looked inside that initial excitement is what I want the other person to hear and feel, too. But unless I tell them about it right away it takes a lot of work to get in touch with that initial joy, and the words are never quite as pure and explicit. That's why I tape record--in the moment--what I'm thinking. Then it's easier to find my way back to what I was feeling, when I'm ready to sit down and write or call to say thank you.

It may sound contrived, recording my thoughts and some people might think it cheapens or takes away from the sincerity of my reply. (What if they knew I rehearsed and prepared for the thank you?) But I feel it's showing respect for someone else's thoughtfulness. They took the time to remember and they made me feel special, so I'm simply making the effort to do the same.

Isn't it funny how sometimes life needs an extra step to make it seem simple?

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

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Comments

[Nina]

Oh dear, Suzanne, et al, I do hope there are a few more Comments in the minds of CAD Readers waiting to be posted. If no one even has a comment on this column then I have a sinking feeling that my nephew is not alone when he told me, in no uncertain terms, that a "Thank You" is not expected in today's (too) busy world. I've been reading 10 years of our email exchanges to determine the origin of his attitude. He was speaking for his entire family including a now 13, 15 and 17 yr old. I could feel my eyes sting as I read it...parents who feel Thank You is an interruption to their family's busy lives?! Over the years I had inquired about their receipt of gifts and ecards when there was no acknowledgement.
Ten years ago I suggested he take a photo of his 3yr old daughter wearing the diamond studs his grandmother gave them and send it in her Birthday card as a "Thank You". He said he did not.
A strand of pearls that my Aunt had given me years ago I sent to her 1yr old grand daughter. Their parents took a picture of Brianna wearing the pearls that hung below her belly-button. "Can't wait to grow into them, Thanks", her parents wrote for her.
For many years I had a PC system long before it stood for Personal Computer: stamped addressed Post Cards in my purse to jot a Thank You or Greeting at the drop of a thought.
I must admit there are times when Thanks is not on the tip of my tongue or pen. But eventually the item becomes useful, perhaps as a pass-along gift. And now I find myself repeating a thanks to people for gifts that I continue to use or enjoy... for years. It serves as a pleasant reminder so perfumes, etc are kept to a useable level. I'm beginning to realize that Thanks/Condolences are never too late or too often... no matter the medium that carries them.
My brother & I sent tapes for a few years. In his barn at 5AM and too tired to write or call at night, he'd play my tape and then answer on the other side while tending his animals. I often taped a letter while driving. When I said, "I'm going to stop at a store but I'll be back", he didn't think he had time to wait for me to shop. He laughed when in the next breath I told him what I had bought. He felt like he was riding with me and I felt like I was in his barn when Mary-cow Moo-oo-d. She added atmosphere to my Christmas Tape to family and friends titled 'The cattle are lowing'.
Thanks for reminding us to always take time to say Thanks. Nina