Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 04-28-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Today's column is an old favorite of Suzanne's. She's out of town and taking it easy.

Dear Reader,

When the comedian asked, "How many of you out there are black and white people?" I immediately raised my hand. No need to think about it. I grew up thinking it's good or bad; yes or no; they're ok, they're not ok.There just wasn't much room for in-between. Personally I blame it on Crayola--they must have left the gray crayon out of my box of 64.

If you have kids, check their crayon boxes immediately, because growing up without the color gray can cause all kinds of confusion and can severely limit your options. I did realize at some age that other people were frequently using the color gray, but it wasn't until I was married that it really sunk in.

Early on in my marriage, when my husband and I were in the middle of our first real disagreement and our exchange of words didn't seem to immediately offer a solution, I grabbed my car keys and headed for the door. When he asked me what I was doing, I told him that it looked like we weren't going to be able to agree on this issue and obviously the marriage wasn't going to work, so I was going to a hotel.

"What is wrong with you? Don't you know how to have a disagreement and work something out? There's always an in-between, a middle ground to explore where you can find a solution--a gray area."

Ah, there's that missing color again. I explained to my husband that when I grew up I only colored with the black and white crayons and never learned how to mix the two. Guess what he bought me that day?

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Are you an author who needs chocolate inspiration--a mom who'd like someone to bake for her for a change, an executive who hasn't had a homemade cookie since they sat on their grandma's knee, or a librarian who desperately needs a chocolate fix? I'd love to bake for you. To enter this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway, go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cookiewin.html

READ THE CLASSICS: "The Secret Garden" by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-27-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Keep the book club fun and guilt-free. Hit the delete key whenever you need to. And don't forget to drop me a note now-and-then. I sure do love to hear from readers. I know you're busy and I appreciate it.

From my Email Bag:

"Dear Suzanne,

I look forward to your columns every day and getting my daily dose of the books. As I was reading your column today about 'endings,' I got a little teary-eyed over your sharing the relationship with your father. I guess we all have someone in our family who we find ourselves in a relationship with like that, and it just struck a chord to read about yours. So I decided to send an e-mail to you for the first time.

It must be difficult to put yourself out there every day for all of us to see like that, and I wanted to let you know how much it means to your readers."--Kelley

(Suzanne responds:)

Kelley, thanks for your email. I usually don't think twice before I hit the "send" key, but I have to admit that the night before the column about my father ran, I was rethinking my decision. For some strange reason I felt like I'd done something wrong. But then I reminded myself that the tougher it is to hit the "send" key, the more readers I'll hear from the next day. And that's exactly what happened.

There are a lot of readers who are grieving for the relationship that "never was" with their mom or dad, but there are just as many out there who are still "hoping".

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

If you missed last Tuesday's column, you'll find it at:

http://dearreader.typepad.com/dear/2006/04/dear_reader_col_16.html

Warmest regards,
Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Don't miss this week's contests and free books from these wonderful authors: Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, Make Him Look Good; Debbie Macomber, Susannah's Garden; Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies; and Noah Lukeman, A Dash Of Style. Go To: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-26-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I'm a detailed "behind the scenes" kind of person and I'm always trying to figure out why things are the way they are. It's embarrassing to admit, but I might be up at night trying to come up with possible reasons why the supermarket clerk kept giving me nasty looks when she was ringing up my order.

I suppose it would be easier for me to try to figure out why I bother spending time on such things, and work on changing me instead. But through the years, I've come to realize that I'll never be able to completely get rid of that personal trait--and truth be told--I'm not so sure I want to.

It's not always the "bad stuff" that I review later in my mind, I learn a lot from taking a second look at the "good stuff," too.

When I'm in the middle of a daily interaction, the little cues, mannerisms, and words that someone chooses might slip right by me. It all happens so fast. But when I think about the encounter later in the day, visualizing and replaying what went down, I learn how to do it better the next time. Or if I'm quite pleased with what I said and did, I can replay the scene and give those "good feelings" another go-around. "Good job, Suzanne."

Why are things the way they are? I don't always figure them out, but it keeps this girl excited about her life when she tries.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Are you an author who needs chocolate inspiration--a mom who'd like someone to bake for her for a change, an executive who hasn't had a homemade cookie since they sat on their grandma's knee, or a librarian who desperately needs a chocolate fix? I'd love to bake for you.

To enter this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway, go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cookiewin.html

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-25-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Endings are important to me. Actually more important than beginnings. No doubt about it, the first day of school, when you 'first' knew it was true love, or the day your son or daughter was born are unforgettable moments. They're imprinted on your mind and in your heart forever. But six years ago it was an ending in my life that made all the difference.

Most of our relationship was spent in a silent battle. In fact, my father hadn't spoken to me for over five years, so when I got the call--"your father's dying," I had to decide; should I go or not?

It would feel like a lie to show up after such a long separation. But if I didn't go and regretted it afterwards--this was the end. I didn't get any second chances.

My father wasn't conscious when I arrived at the hospital. We were alone in his room and I pulled a chair over by the side of his bed and bent down, so I could be close to him. He looked so much older than I'd remembered, but I guess I'd always looked at him through the eyes of a little girl. This was my dad--the person I wanted so desperately to have a relationship with, but now here we were, and it was too late.

I started softly singing "The Old Rugged Cross," because I knew it was dad's favorite hymn. I had no idea if he could hear me, but in the middle of the second verse he woke up, looked at me, and smiled. Then he raised his hand, brushed it against my cheek and with tears in his eyes he said, "I never thought it would come to this. I'm so sorry for everything."

I'd pictured an ending similar to this many times before--my dad wanting to make amends at the last minute--and I was prepared. 'No way, forget it, it's too late,' was what I'd rehearsed, but instead, I took his hand and told him that we both did the best we could, and that I loved him.

My father died the following night.

Beginnings, they usually come about on their own and don't need much assistance, but endings--how it all wraps up--it's a choice, and in the end my dad and I came through mighty fine.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

The AuthorBuzz link was inactive yesterday, but it is ready to go today.

AUTHORBUZZ: Don't miss this week's contests and free books from these wonderful authors: Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, Make Him Look Good; Debbie Macomber, Susannah's Garden; Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies; and Noah Lukeman, A Dash Of Style. Go To: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

P.S. Are you an author who needs chocolate inspiration--a mom who'd like someone to bake for her for a change, an executive who hasn't had a homemade cookie since they sat on their grandma's knee, or a librarian who desperately needs a chocolate fix? I'd love to bake for you.

To enter this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway, go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cookiewin.html

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-24-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

It's chocolate chip cookie time! Every month this year I'm baking two dozen homemade chocolate chip cookies for a book club reader.

If you're an author who needs chocolate inspiration--a mom who'd like someone to bake for her for a change, an executive who hasn't had a homemade cookie since they sat on their grandma's knee, or a librarian who desperately needs a chocolate fix--be sure to enter. I'd love to bake for you.

To enter this month's Chocolate Chip Cookie Giveaway, go to:

http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/cookiewin.html

Have a wonderful day.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Don't miss this week's contests and free books from these wonderful authors: Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, Make Him Look Good; Debbie Macomber, Susannah's Garden; Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies; and Noah Lukeman, A Dash Of Style. Go To: http://Authorbuzz.Com/Dearreader

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-21-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Thanks for taking the time to write. I always appreciate hearing from readers. Remember, keep the book club fun and guilt-free reading. If you get busy, hit the delete key. Every Monday I feature different books.

From my Email Bag:

Hi Suzanne,

The other day I baked a gorgeous bundt cake that looked like a sand castle. The cake was outrageous! (The mold is from Williams & Sonoma if you're interested.) The only problem - the cake tasted so bland. Even with a whipped cream moat and strawberries drawbridge, the cake had no flavor. Do you have a good bundt cake recipe? Maybe something with cinnamon? I think a spice would have added lots of flavor to my boring tasting, summery-looking cake.

Thanks all the recipes you share, Laura

(Suzanne responds:)

Laura,

I don't have a bundt cake recipe with cinnamon, but your query reminded me of a bundt cake recipe that I used to make all the time.

I'm a bake-it-from-scratch woman. I never use a cake mix--not that there's anything wrong with that. I just figure if I'm going to swallow the calories, I might as well make them as tasty as possible. Having said that, this is the only recipe that I use that does call for a cake mix. But I have to admit it tastes great. You'll want seconds!

I think this cake would look ravishing in your mold.

Orange Poppy Seed Cake

1 pkg. white cake mix
1 lg. pkg instant vanilla pudding
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup cooking oil
5 eggs
2 tablespoons poppy seed
1 tablespoon almond extract

Mix all ingredients on low speed until blended, then on high speed for 5 minutes. Pour batter into greased Bundt pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Cool slightly before removing from pan.

Dust with powdered sugar or top with a glaze made with powdered sugar and orange juice. (Just mix some powdered sugar with orange juice until it's of a pourable, glaze consistency.)

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Need a good laugh? Don't miss this week's special book, Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement by Rodney Rothman. To sample the book and enter the free book give away, go to:
http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master2/mweb/path4-1.html

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing:
http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-20-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Today's column is continued from Wednesday--yesterday. If you missed yesterday's column and need to play catch-up, here's a link:

http://dearreader.typepad.com/dear/2006/04/dear_reader_col_12.html

(continued from Wednesday)

I think my own biker tale got the sound guy's curiosity going, because after his friend left, he asked what I did for a living. When I told him I was a writer, he moved in a little closer and in a low voice started telling me his story.

But first he reached out his hand, shook mine and said, "Hello, I'm Buddy, what's your name?"

Buddy looks rough-and-tough, but he's really just an every day guy. When he told me what he did for a living, I could tell he felt a little embarrassed. "I drive a truck and make deliveries for a lumber company. I've had other, more important jobs, but this job doesn't have a lot of stress. I get to be outdoors every day and I make an okay living."

It was obvious that he liked his work and I told him that enjoying going to work every day is really what it's all about. "Besides it looks like you keep in shape, Buddy," and I pointed to his muscles. He blushed.

For a number of years Buddy worked for a prison in food service. He said it was the most interesting job he'd ever had and he could never get the events from the day out of his mind until he wrote them down.

"I could write a book about what went on in there," he said. "Every night after I got home from my job at the prison, before I went to sleep, I'd lie back and think about the entire day. Things that people said, stuff that happened--I'd write them all down. It felt good to think back and write about my day. I have boxes of notebooks filled with stories. Sometimes entire families were in the same prison together. One inmate was actually happy about it, he said at least his family would all be spending Thanksgiving together that year, because they were all in the joint at the same time.
Another bragged, like it was some kind of badge of courage: 'Hey, man, I can do the time. No problem.'"

"I can't understand it," Buddy shook his head, "how could someone think that was something to be proud of?"

The rain kept pouring and we kept talking about how generation after generation, some people stay stuck in crime and poverty. How some families just can't seem to ever break the cycle--maybe because they don't have a role model to show them how.

Buddy said he quit writing every night when he left his prison job, but every now and then he gets out his notebooks and reads them.

"You should keep writing every night," I told him. "You might not write a book, you might not do anything with your writing except read it yourself every now and then. But Buddy, look at you, you're smiling because you love reading the memories you've written about in your notebooks."

Somehow getting permission from me inspired Buddy to keep writing, and he said when he got home that night he was going to write about his day and that included meeting me.

It finally stopped raining, so it was time for Buddy to get back to work. But before he did, the big, rough-and-tough biker guy said, "Suzanne, would it be all right if I gave you a hug good-bye?"

"Absolutely, Buddy."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Fun contests this week! Get a free online antique appraisal, watch a video, win coffee mugs from the writer and her dog, and of course signed free books from these terrific authors: Jane K. Cleland, Consigned to Death; Lisa Tucker, Once Upon A Day; Caitlin Flanagan, To Hell With All That; and Patti Lawson, The Dog Diet: A Memoir. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-19-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

It was warm and sunny, but all of a sudden in the middle of the band's second set, it was pouring rain. I was at an annual music/food All Faith Food Bank Fundraiser for Hunger and there weren't many places to take cover, so I squeezed in under the edge of a tiny white tent that was covering the soundboard equipment for the band.

A big ruffian-looking bald guy with tattoos covering his arms, was holding a blue tarp up over the sides of the equipment to keep it dry, and I could tell from the leather jacket he was wearing, that he was a biker.

"Would you like me to hold that for you?" I asked him, hoping he'd give me the okay to squeeze in underneath the tent. I know it was a stupid "shelter-from-the storm" pick-up line, but he laughed and more importantly I was "in". He handed me the tarp and he went to help his partner secure the other side.

Other people kept trying to worm their way underneath the tent, but he'd shoo them out with his hand and a nasty, "Don't Even Think About It!" look. The band was ending its set and the next act wasn't going on until the rain died down. We stood waiting together in silence for quite awhile when he turned and said, "Thanks," and then went back to fiddling with the equipment.

Pretty soon a friend of his showed up and the two of them started talking about bikes and whether or not people should be required to wear helmets. Even "my" biker guy was in favor of wearing a helmet, but he didn't want to be required to wear one. And the next thing I knew they were trading stories about friends who had "dumped" their bikes. Stories about bikes tipping over, yet their riders still hung on while their bikes slide down the highway, but "he walked away without a scratch!" They both shook their heads in agreement that a guy who hung on when he dumped his bike was insane.

"Dump the bike...Yeah man...dump the bike."

The three of us were standing so close together that it felt like I was part of the conversation, and before I analyzed whether or not I really was, I started telling my own bike story. "I had an accident on a bike once, too. I wasn't driving, but I had my arms wrapped tightly around the guy who was, but apparently not tight enough. A car turned when it wasn't suppose to, hit us, and I flew off the bike and smacked into a guy driving a convertible. Then I ricocheted off of his chest, and landed on the other side of the highway. I don't remember the ride to the hospital because I was unconscious, but I was wearing a helmet, which the doctor said saved my life. It was funny, because when I woke up in the emergency room, I didn't know my name--hadn't a clue who I was--but I did remember where I worked. I told the nurse to call my work, describe me and tell them I wouldn't be in."

When I finished telling my story--and there was that moment of silence when you're waiting for some kind of response from your listeners--it got tense. Oh dear, did I step over my social bounds here? I was relieved when they both finally nodded and gave me an accepting, but weird "You've really ridden a bike? Who would've guessed?" look.

I think my own biker tale got the sound guy's curiosity going, because after his friend left, he asked me what I did for a living. When I told him I was a writer, he moved in a little closer and in a low voice started telling me his story.

(And I'll have to continue my column tomorrow--tune in.)

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Need a good laugh? Don't miss this week's special book, Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement by Rodney Rothman. To sample the book and enter the free book give away, go to:
http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master2/mweb/path4-1.html

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-18-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

It's bizarre, but sometimes if something is easy for me to do, I figure it must not be anything special. Even when people are complimenting me, for some reason, I feel the need to dismiss their praise. After all, if I've mastered it, it must have been too easy in the first place. My wacko method of thinking is: I should mess with success and try to do it differently next time. Let's kick it up a notch Suzanne, and see if you can do it then. After all, it's not really worth anything unless it was practically impossible to accomplish. Where and when did I latch on to that kind of logic?

I was working on a project the other day and instead of doing it the easy way--following my usual formula--I was trying to make it more difficult. It wasn't working. So I called a friend, thinking I'd hear some words of encouragement, but instead he chided me, "Suzanne, why don't you do it the way you always do? Why don't you do what you do best?"

Hey, there's a thought! Why don't I do what I do best? Because that would be too easy? Oh gee, I couldn't make my life that simple, could I?

When my daughter was a teenager, she always seemed to go about things the hard way. She was a smart girl, but frequently my husband and I would tell her that if she was playing football and could make an easy touchdown by running down the outside, she would still insist on plowing up the middle of the field where four 250 pound tackles were waiting. Why? Well, because the other way would've been too easy.

How does that saying go..."like mother, like daughter?"

When someone compliments me, in the middle of listening to their sentence, I get all jumbly inside desperately hoping they'll stop saying those nice things about me, because they're making me uncomfortable. In the movies when someone wants to get to the truth, they threaten you with electrical shock, or twisting your fingers---all they'd have to do to me is strap me into a chair and say nice things about me for 20 minutes, and I'd fold and tell them anything they want to know. "Please, don't give me another compliment, I'll tell you the secret passcode to the files of the universe--just stop saying nice things about me."

Okay, so I'm exaggerating just a little bit, but maybe in order for me to correct my wacky thinking, I'll have to go down an extreme path.

Or, maybe I need to call my daughter and ask her to tell me a story about running up the middle of the field.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

P.S. Need a good laugh? Don't miss this week's special book, Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement by Rodney Rothman. To sample the book and enter the free book give away, go to:
http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master2/mweb/path4-1.html

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html

Dear Reader Column 04-17-06

Join my email book club. Over 330,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Need a good laugh? Don't miss this week's special book, Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement by Rodney Rothman.

Unemployed, because the television show he worked on was canceled, Rodney decides it's a good time to take a vacation and "retire" from his 70 hour work week. Burnt out, he packs up and heads to Florida to get an early start on his golden years, or at least check them out ahead of time. He moves in with a retired piano teacher, joins a senior softball club and is quite troubled when he discovers that he's the worst player on the team and in fact, he's an all around lousy retiree.

Enjoy the read, and after you've sampled the book, be sure to enter this week's free drawing. I have 25 copies of Early Bird to give away to readers.

To sample the book, go to:

http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master2/mweb/path4-1.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com 
http://www.DearReader.com

AUTHORBUZZ: Fun contests this week! Get a free online antique appraisal, watch a video, win coffee mugs from the writer and her dog, and of course signed free books from these terrific authors: Jane K. Cleland, Consigned to Death; Lisa Tucker, Once Upon A Day; Caitlin Flanagan, To Hell With All That; and Patti Lawson, The Dog Diet: A Memoir. Go to: http://authorbuzz.com/dearreader

READ THE CLASSICS: The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, and enter the free Penguin Classic's Drawing: http://www.supportlibrary.com/nl/users/master3/mweb/path17-1.html