Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 10-31-04

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Dear Reader,

"One of the first things every journalist learns to include in their story," my Freshman English teacher used to preach, "is the list of the 'Five Ws and an H': who, what, when, where, why, and how."
Frankly, the first time I heard her lecture I was amazed that such things even needed to be taught. Doesn't everyone walk around wondering about these things? I did. My teacher claimed it was a gift. I, on the other hand, find it very annoying at times.

Who, what, when, where, why and how (only my "how" as always been, "How much did it cost?"). These are the questions I ask myself about the things I see every day.

Everything I look at calls for a new set of answers. There's a new Mexican restaurant on the corner of Orange Avenue. What happened to the old doughnut shop that used to be there? Who owns the restaurant that's taken its place? What makes someone think that this is a good spot for a restaurant?

Even trying to relax and get lost in a television show gets complicated because I'm always wondering. The other night I was watching a "Law and Order" episode. Lenny Briscol, one of the detectives on the show, gave a bum on the corner a five-dollar bill, in exchange for some information about a possible criminal suspect.
Now here's the thing, who really pays for that? Does it come out of Lenny's pocket? Does he just pick up the tab figuring if he breaks more cases he'll get promoted? That could add up to a lot of money--$5.00 a day, 20 working days in a month--that's $100.00 bucks, that's $1,200 a year. He better get some raise with that promotion!

I know, I know. It's just a show. I should be able to let these things go. But I can't seem to turn it off. If Lenny has to turn in these $5.00 bribes, on his expense report, how does he get a receipt? Certainly the bum isn't going to sign one. How do the Lennys of the world get reimbursed? I need to know.

I think my Freshman High School English teacher ruined me for life.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-30-04

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Dear Reader,

It's been a frustrating morning. I've spent most of it looking for a receipt.

This is not supposed to happen to me. Security is tight when it comes to my receipts. Immediately after I buy something, the receipt goes in a manila folder--the expensive kind with the sides--so nothing slips by me. And then those manila folders are tucked snugly inside of hanging folders. Each of the hanging folders has a designated position in a filing cabinet drawer--a drawer devoted only to storing my receipts. And as a last line of defense against receipts going AWOL, there's a hand-lettered sign on the outside of the filing cabinet drawer warning: "Don't Mess With My Receipts!"

I implemented this system because two months ago, after spending an entire morning doing just what I did this morning--looking for a receipt--I publicly vowed to anyone within ear shot of my desk that never, ever, again would I waste time looking for a receipt. Heads turned--the people I work with were in awe of my proclamation. I assured them it would be a sight to behold because all of my receipts would be in order, and at my fingertips by the end of the week. And I made good on my promise. I felt so proud. It was such a satisfying feeling knowing that all of my receipts were safely tucked away.

Unfortunately, today is the first time I actually had to retrieve one.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-29-04

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Dear Reader,

Apparently the squirrels in my yard are not interested in resolving conflict. Remember my idea in yesterday's column?

I did set a pan of nuts out for the squirrels who've been throwing things at me. It was supposed to be a peace offering. They loved the nuts. The pan was empty when I went out to check on it this morning.
The only problem is they're still throwing things at me. They even whacked me with my peace offering. And, they dug holes in my freshly mulched flower garden.

I have a feeling I'm not going to prevail in this conflict, especially after reading some of the mail that readers sent to me about their encounters with squirrels.

To read from my Reader Squirrel Email Bag, go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/nuts.html

If you missed yesterday's "Squirrel Trouble" click on column (10-28-04).

Have a wonderful weekend.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-28-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I used to think the squirrels in my yard were cute. But now we're at war. I didn't start it. Okay, I'm sure if you asked them they'd put the blame on me--but you know how squirrels are.

Last week when I was planting flowers and mulching in my garden, there was a squirrel that seemed to be keeping a pretty careful eye on me. Every time I'd put my spade into the ground, he started squeaking and jumping up and down on the tree limb above me. He was more than persistent, so I assumed he'd buried his food stash in my garden, and I was making him nervous.

I didn't think anything more about it until I sat down to take a break and something hit me hard on the top of my head. When I looked up, I saw the squirrel. He now had a partner in crime, and they each pitched another acorn at me. Amused, but rubbing the top of my head because those acorns smart, I asked them nicely to stop. They didn't. In fact, they kept running through the maze of tree limbs, following me around the yard all day and they wouldn't quit throwing stuff at me.

I'm no longer amused.

I could understand the need for a squirrel to be concerned about his winter food supply, but these squirrels are Floridians. Yeah, yeah, it's been passed down through the generations to store up food for the winter months, and these squirrels could be Wisconsin transplants, and they just can't help themselves, blah...blah...blah. My husband's explained all the possibilities to me. And anyway, he's sympathetic to those warriors only because they haven't thrown one single thing at him. As far as I'm concerned those squirrels need therapy.

There seems to be a shortage of Squirrel Psychoanalysts in the Yellow Pages, so I've decided to try my own brand of squirrel psychology. Tonight I'm setting a huge roaster pan--full of nuts--out in my garden. Maybe if I can convince those yeahoots that there's no shortage of nuts, we could call a truce.

I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-27-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Please write any time. I love to hear from readers.

From my Email Bag:

"Dear Suzanne: I'm waaaaaaay behind on my e-mails and am catching up today. Just curious if you finished your giveaway for the [Romanov Prophecy] books or not. If not, please let this serve as my entry.
Thanks!"--Joe Perdue, PGA Golf Professional

(Suzanne responds:) Joe, you are waaaaaaay behind on your reading, which gives you a huge handicap in entering this contest. But my motto is that you should read for fun and never feel guilty about falling behind, or hitting the delete key for that matter. So email me your mailing address and I'll make you a winner. Great words for a golfer to hear, eh?

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with a friend like you.

Warm regards,

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-26-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My husband is a boat fanatic. I love him dearly, but when he gets around boats he loses his mind, and there's not a rational thought left in his brain. A tired, old, boat that looks like someone should take a match to and put out of its misery, is merely a fixer-upper in his eyes.

Over the years he's owned: Lilly, a steel tug boat; motorboats; and numerous sailboats--one was even in a motion picture. Yes, they all have stories behind them, but usually they're disaster stories, with expensive endings.

He's had this sickness for years. In fact, ten years ago when we decided to move from Wisconsin to Florida his dream was to live on a 52-foot sailboat. I tried to identify--was this a guy's way of playing house, or a big floating tree fort on the water? I couldn't really relate, but I could tell it meant a lot to him, so I agreed to live on a boat for one year. The boat deal fell through--thank heavens--but the good news is that to this day, I still get brownie points for agreeing to do it.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Christopher Reeve said, "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable." In memory of him I invite you to sample his audio book, "Nothing Is Impossible".

Go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/audio/nothing/

When you click on this link to listen to the book, if it doesn't start playing, you might need to install Real Player. Don't worry, it's free. The directions on the page at the link listed above.

Dear Reader Column 10-25-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Christopher Reeve said, "So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable."

His book, "Nothing Is Impossible" reminds us that life is not to be taken for granted but to be lived fully with zeal, curiosity, and gratitude.

In memory of him I invite you to sample his audio book, "Nothing Is Impossible".

Go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/audio/nothing/

When you click on this link to listen to the book, if it doesn't start playing, you might need to install Real Player. Don't worry, it's free. Scroll down and you'll find the directions on the page using the link above.

Next week I thought it might be fun to record one of my "Dear Reader" columns and then you'll be able to sit back and listen.

Enjoy this week's special audio book.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Warm regards,
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-24-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Last week right before I walked into a meeting, I looked down and saw the dreaded "white smear" on the front of my black suit jacket. If you have no idea of what I'm talking about, consider yourself one of the lucky ones, and please email me--immediately--and let me know what brand of deodorant you use, because I'm fed up with mine.

The main color in my wardrobe is black, so you can see that I'm not kidding about what a serious problem this has become. I have three different brands of deodorant in my drawer, each claiming, "36 Hours of Power--glides on clear, with no white residue." Well I'd be okay with only 8 hours of power before I had to redo my armpits, if they would just get rid of the white residue.

I know the so-called secret to avoiding the "white smear" and yes, I did put my deodorant on after I got dressed. But something still went terribly wrong when I put my suit coat on.

Maybe this "white residue" thing is actually a marketing plot to so I use up my deodorant faster. I fear the white smear on my clothing...the thought of it makes me start to sweat...I apply more deodorant, but now I start sweating again worrying, about the white stuff...so I apply more deodorant...I start worrying....

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-23-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

When my husband snores at night, all I have to do is tap him on the shoulder and tell him that he needs to roll on his side--problem solved. When I'm in an airplane and the woman seated next to me has fallen asleep and her snoring is drowning out the engine noise, tell me, what's the proper etiquette?

And here's another etiquette dilemma that I encountered on my recent vacation to Wisconsin. What do you do when the man seated next to you has a--how can I put this delicately?--a finger in the nose problem. I'm not talkin' an occasional touch-the-end-of-your-nose-sort-of-thing. This was serious business the entire two hour flight.

I didn't want to embarrass the woman who was snoring, so I tried to wake her up with my own set of noises, like clearing my throat and coughing. That didn't work. Neither did tapping her gently on the arm, so I decided that a full frontal attack was called for. I'd head for the bathroom and on my way past her, I'd make sure that I practically fell in her lap. Yep, that worked. She woke up and didn't have a clue of what she'd been up to while she was sleeping.

Now my other seat mate proved to be a much more challenging task for me. He was dressed in a business suit and it was obvious that he was traveling to an appointment, so I tried to strike up a conversation about business. But he wasn't a talker and would only answer with a yes or no. It was clear that he wanted to get back to the business at hand. (pun intended)

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 10-22-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-minutes a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My bones need to take more of a beating. Apparently some of them could be stronger. At least that's what my doctor's nurse said when she called me the other day. "We want you to walk a lot Suzanne. And here's what you need to do. Take 1500 mgs of calcium every day, and buy a pair of sturdy shoes--with laces. Now be sure and tie those laces tight when you walk. We wouldn't want you to trip over your shoe laces, would we?"

Who do "we" think "we" are talking to? I was throwing 25 pound bags of mulch around last weekend, for two days straight, and I've got the "mulch muscles" in my arms to prove it. Tie my shoes laces? Well, gee, I think I can handle that assignment. Her parting words of wisdom: "Even though you're 50, you still have a few good years left."

I don't know what her intentions were. Maybe her condescending language was really a get-fit challenge. If it was, it worked; because I took the bait. Now there's a Digi-Walker pedometer attached to the waistband of my pants, and everywhere I walk, it counts my steps. I'll show her.

The pedometer brochure said that even the average couch potato does 3,000 steps per day. I admit that sometimes when I've checked my step count, near the end of the day, I've had to dance to a tune to meet my goal. In case you get hooked on this pedometer thing--like I have--here's a tip: If you do a "walk-dance" to the song "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood, you'll add 715 steps to your total. And the song "Follow Me" by Uncle Kracker tallies up another 255 steps. That makes my grand total 10,000 steps for today.

"We" will be so proud!

To see my new pedometer and some of my gardening go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/photo/walking.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com