Dear Reader

Dear Reader Column 8-31-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I keep two sizes of pants in my closet. Size 2 is the real me. Size
4 is my "bloat" size. Lately I have to do most of my eating at the dinner hour, because otherwise I have to change my pants half way through the day. I wear my size 2's before I eat, 4's after I eat, and then 2's later in the day when I "debloat" again. I always look smart. My pants are never wrinkled, because I don't have them on long enough to do any real crease damage.

I know the foods that cause me to expand like a balloon. Sugar is one of them. I try to avoid it. But it's tough. My husband says the problem is that I just don't eat enough of it. His advice is to eat tons of sugar, bloat up like the Goodyear blimp, switch to elastic-waist pants for a week, and get it over with once and for all. Then, my body will adjust and I'll be able to wear the size 2 pants all day long.

I know, I know, you might be thinking at this point, "Look Suzanne, I don't feel any sympathy for someone who starts at a size 2 and bloats to a size 4." But it's all relative, I assure you. If you are wearing a size 2 and you bloat up 4 inches, there just isn't room for expansion. There's no place for the bloat to go.

Well, that's the scoop from my end of the world today. I need to sign off now. I ate lunch 20 minutes ago and it's time to change my pants.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Shame, shame on me. A correction needs to be made in last Friday's column. "The Little Engine That Could" was in fact a "she."
All the other engines who refused to help the stranded toys and dolls because they were too tired, too busy, too important, or too old, were male. "Give this spunky little FEMALE storybook hero her due," wrote book club reader Rebecca Murphy, and I agree. I'm constantly yelling at the television screen because newscasters insist on using the term "businessmen" and look at what I did to "The Little Engine That Could." My apologies.

Dear Reader Column 8-30-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My mantra is, "If a book isn't a good match for you, hit the delete key. Every Monday I feature a new selection."

Too many times people continue to trudge through a book just because they started it, even though it's clearly not a good match for them.
Never mind that the pleasure of reading has turned into a painful experience. They feel duty-bound to finish what they've begun.

Please don't keep reading a book thinking, "It will 'do' or it's good enough." There are plenty of books out there that will leave you in awe of the writer's talent, and inspire and motivate you to do your very best, too.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 8-27-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Remember the book, "The Little Engine That Could," by Watty Piper?
It's a favorite of mine. "I think I can; I think I can; I think I can." But lately my engine's been headed in the other direction, "I think I can't; I think I can't; I think I can't." I hate it when this happens.

Don't know how I got off track. I didn't see it coming, but for some reason I'm spending a lot of time thinking about things in the past that didn't go well--the times that I didn't succeed. "I think I can't; I think I can't; I think I can't."

Not too worried about my current derailment though, because I was reading some old writing notes of mine last night and clearly I've been here before.

"Oh, Little Blue Engine," cried the dolls and toys. "Will you pull us over the mountain?"

"I'm not very big," said the Little Blue Engine. "I have never been over the mountain. But I think I can; I think I can; I think I can."

And he did. And I will, too.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. If you haven't had a chance to sample "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"
you can start reading it right now. Go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/shoots1.html

Dear Reader Column 8-26-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My husband and I went with our son and daughter-in-law to look at a model home last weekend. It was gorgeous. I could see right away why they'd fallen in love with it. But just in case the floor plan wasn't enough to seal the deal, the builder had added a lot of "sizzle." Every room in the house was filled with expensive furniture--wall hangings, a big screen TV, a pool table in the game room upstairs and family photos (just in case you didn't have your own). It was a decorator's showcase. Why, even the walk-in closets had clothes, shoes, hats and handbags in them. I know I was ready to move in. (The clothes were too big, but the lime green hat looked divine on me.)

We'd forgotten to bring the camera, so my son and his wife wanted us to come back the next day to take pictures. Their plan was to buy the house and everything in it.

Listening to them reminded me of when my husband and I rented space in an old office building that had been restored. We thought it would be fun to carry out the antique theme in our own offices, but we didn't have time to shop around. Lucky for us the current issue of the Pottery Barn catalogue was featuring antique reproductions of office furniture and equipment. It was the weirdest phone order I've ever placed: "Hello, I'd like to order everything on pages 24,
25, and 26. Here's my credit card number and the address you can ship it to." Not only did it make decorating a breeze, but whenever anyone asked us what our new offices looked like, all we had to do was tell them, "Get a copy of the Pottery Barn catalogue and turn to pages...."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. If you haven't had a chance to sample "Eats, Shoots & Leaves"
you can start reading it right now. Go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/shoots1.html

Dear Reader Column 8-25-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

From my Email Bag:

"Dear Suzanne, although I don't read with a dictionary in hand, I do enjoy learning about language. Have you read Eats, Shoots & Leaves, by Lynne Truss? Who would have thought that a book about punctuation could be so funny? If you haven't read it you should, as she has a wonderful, wry sense of humor along with a gift for explaining punctuation clearly. I smiled, I chuckled, I laughed out loud and I read it in one sitting."--Richard Cameron

(Suzanne responds:) I agree with Richard, it is a delightful book.
If you haven't had a chance to sample Eats, Shoots & Leaves you can start reading it right now. Go to:
http://www.emailbookclub.com/alt/shoots1.html

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

My best to you,

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 8-24-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I was talking to a book club reader on the phone the other day.
In the middle of our conversation she stopped and said to me, "I admire you, Suzanne, because you put yourself out there every day in your column. You just open right up and say what you're really thinking. I'm amazed. I'd be afraid to do that."

I thanked her, but I assured her that I wasn't always as brave as I appeared. Every now and then when I write a column, I get nervous when it comes time to hit the "send" key. Maybe I've shared too much? Maybe I've stepped over some final line?

I guess I really don't know if there are unspoken limits. But what I do know is that when I changed the style of my column and wasn't afraid, that's when readers started opening up to me, too.

It's easy to cut yourself off before you get to the "good stuff."
People do it every day. They stop short before they utter the words that might make them cry or give them a reprieve from a burden they've been carrying for far too long.

But I've discovered that when the words get stuck in my throat, or bring tears to my eyes, those are the very words--the "good stuff"--that I desperately need to share. My belief is that people should talk about what they're afraid of, so I do. Step right up, take a deep breath and tell somebody what's on your mind and in your heart. You may find yourself thinking, "Oh my, I've let them see the real me. What happens now?" I don't know for certain what will happen to you, but I assure you, nothing bad has happened yet to me.
Going through life with things unsaid, or dreams interrupted because of fear, is not the way it was meant to be. So go ahead. Wrap your arms around the "good stuff."

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Missing a book club email? Now you can get it instantly--
and it's easy. Simply go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/miss You'll find this link in each day's email in the TODAY'S BOOK section below.

Dear Reader Column 8-23-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

My husband and I went to three grocery stores the other day. We weren't shopping; we were trying to solve a mystery. The mystery of "The Missing Food."

I'd saved our grocery receipts for the past 30 days and when I added them up and hit the total button, I was in shock. There was no way the two of us could have eaten that much stuff in one month. So where was all this food going? Someone must be stealing our groceries. Come to think of it our neighbor, Anne, mentioned that her husband Bill went on a diet a couple of weeks ago and she was so proud of him because he hadn't cheated once. Maybe he's the culprit.
I bet he's been sneaking over here in the middle of the night and raiding our pantry.

O.K., I admit it--the chances of a food burglar are slim. Either my husband and I are totally clueless about how much food we really consume (maybe we need to start weighing in every morning), or we're paying too much for our groceries. So, with receipts in hand, checking item by item, we spent a couple of hours in grocery stores comparing prices.

Research completed, I'm happy to report that our calorie-counting neighbor is no longer a suspect. Our problem seems to be that we haven't been savvy shoppers. But you know, I did see Bill eating a protein bar when he got out of his car the other day--and it was my brand.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 8-18-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Whenever I tell someone that we homeschooled one of our children from fourth grade through high school (it was a group effort--my husband, his father, tutors and me), I always add at the end of the story, "Yeah, I used to think that only earthies and weirdos homeschooled, and now I'm one of them."

I got to thinking about that anecdote the other day, and my standard end-of-the-story confession, when a reader made a suggestion to me.
He thought it would be interesting to find out how many book club readers read a book with a dictionary at hand, and actually look up words they're unfamiliar with.

My thought process went like this: "Reading with a dictionary by your side? Come on, who jots down words and looks them up right away? Reading nerds?" And then I thought, "Yep, that's me." In fact, sometimes when I read a word that just sounds so cool when I say it, I write it down, because I want to find a way to use it in an upcoming column. People who knew me "then" would be horrified "now."
What have I become?

Classmates considered me a rebel, a troublemaker, a renegade--and not one with a dictionary in her hand. Teachers gave me Cs just so they wouldn't have to put up with me another year.

Since it's true confession today, I might as well tell the whole truth--the story gets even more repulsive. The other night my husband caught me reading a thesaurus for fun. He took a second look and turned his head in shame. I admit it, my actions were reprehensible. Can this woman be saved? Or is she forever doomed to be a wordmonger?

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

Dear Reader Column 8-17-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

I'm not a patient person when I'm in a group. Part of me feels bad about that, but the other part of me doesn't really care. Basically, I try to avoid getting involved in any sort of committee that has to make a group decision. Works for me.

But I realize that avoidance isn't always a plausible solution.
Other people work just fine in groups. So why can't I?

Understanding a problem is one of the first steps to solving it. So, let me see... Why is it that, whenever I have to function in a group, it drives me nuts? It irritates the heck out of me, and I feel like I want to run out of the room screaming, "Are you people insane?"

For starters, there's this "you-have-to-reach-a-consensus"
thing. In the time that it takes me to get people to see "it" my way (gee--no control issues here!), I could have finished the project myself--and, I might add, done a great job, too.

People strategically divide in groups. No one acknowledges it, but there's always one group of people who are rooting for the project to work, and they're committed to making it happen. And then there's that "other" group--the people who will do their darndest to sabotage any idea the group decides to try to implement.

In the past, my strategy for getting along in groups has been to cheerfully agree to a number of small points. I figured if I acquiesced to 10 small items on the agenda, the group would cut me some slack on the 11th hour issue--the one most important to me. But never assume--because everything is up for discussion in a group.

In fact, I'm convinced that "discussion" is the group's most powerful secret weapon. If you discuss something long enough, there will be group member casualties. Sheer boredom will take out a few members. A desperate need for a bathroom break will always get at least one person to vote "yes" when he'd rather say "no."
Malnutrition fosters group cooperation, too (the promise of lunch "if" we can reach a consensus). And finally there are members like me who get so sick and tired of rehashing, slicing and dicing the same thing over and over (and over) again that they'll agree to anything just to get out of the room before they scream, "Are you people insane?"

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com

P.S. Missing a book club email? Now you can get it instantly--
and it's easy. Simply go to: http://www.emailbookclub.com/miss You'll find this link in each day's email in the TODAY'S BOOK section below.

Dear Reader Column 8-16-04

Join my email book club. Over 250,000 people read 5-mintues a day. To see what books I'm featuring this week, go to: http://www.dearreader.com/

Dear Reader,

Sally, a book club reader wrote: "Suzanne, when you went on vacation you mentioned you were taking M.J. Rose's book, 'The Halo Effect' with you, so...."

From my E-mail Bag:

Dear Suzanne,

I work at a mid-sized company and ten of us belong to your clubs.
When you went on vacation you mentioned you were taking M.J. Rose's book, 'The Halo Effect.' So [we] got 'The Halo Effect' and now we're passing it around. We really love it.

But we all want to know how you liked it. You said you were taking it on vacation. Also we all want you to know we read your column and get most of our book ideas from you. And, we are making your 'Disappearing Cake' next week for one of our birthday bashes. Thanks so much for your book recommendations and recipes. Hope you had a great vacation!"--Sally

(Suzanne responds:) I loved "The Halo Effect," even before I realized that the author named a character after me. It was a nonstop read on a nonstop flight. In a couple of weeks I'll be featuring a sample from the book and I'm talking to the author about a special promotion for book club readers.

Thanks for reading with me. It's so good to read with friends.

Suzanne Beecher
Suzanne@DearReader.com
www.DearReader.com